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Cock sucking and safety in real life

Ms Olivia  1-800-601-6975

Ms Olivia 1-800-601-6975

We’ve talked about it here on My blog.  We’ve talked about it when you call for the various cock oriented phone sex calls.  Some of you want to be a cuckold and others have bisexual fantasies.   I know there are LOTS of men who are as fascinated by the penis as I am!

Since I often discuss the *elephant in the living room* let’s talk about the difference between real life cock sucking and fantasy cock scenes.

Advantage of fantasy sex

The advantage of phone sex is that you can live out fantasies without the real life consequences.  I’m a big fan of fantasy for this reason.  Phone sex is safe, private, creative and hot and Ms Layla describes how she worked with a caller to give him an amazing fantasy phone call that was very real to him!

Turning your sex fantasy into real life

For those that have your heart and cock set on *the real thing* then you’ve got a couple of options.  First you can eat your own cum and Ms Violet can even show you how to suck your own cock!  This is the only totally safe way to eat cum, because you are eating your own cum.

Second safest way to suck a cock in real life

You *might* not want to hear this, but I do care about you and your other intimate partners, so I’m going to say it.  If you want to suck a cock in real life, safer sex means use a condom.  Notice I said safer because it is not 100% safe.  Because there are risks you have a moral obligation to talk with your real life partner to give HER options about the risks she wants to take with her own sexual safety.  If you suck an uprotected cock and the woman (or man) in your life thinks you are exclusive then she puts herself at risk when she exchanges bodily fluids with you (and the others you have sex with).  This is  NOT GOOD.

High risk sex

The *fantasy* of cock sucking at a glory hole or anonymous sex situation is totally hot!  The reality is very risky.  My personal ethics, emotional and professional responsibility, and general requirements of My own standards mean that I will NOT encourage you to do this in real life without protection or if you have to do it without protection I will tell you to make sure your sexual partner knows the risks she takes with you.

Sorry guys, I know that isn’t sexy, but that is My professional standard and it’s one that I use in My own personal life.  My guy and I do not have a totally monogamous sex life but we are honest with each other and each understands the health risks we choose to take.  It is worth it to us both and we’ve made fully informed decisions about the risks we are willing (and not willing) to take.

Was this blog post a total downer?  What are your thoughts, reactions, comments and questions?

Ms Olivia

17 comments to Cock sucking and safety in real life

  • Ericdf

    Far from being a ‘total downer’, it is always a good idea to remind everyone that there is a big difference between the thoughts we have (fantasies) and the reality of actually following through with them.

    It is difficult for me to wrap my head around the possibility that someone would actually want to live out the glory hole fantasy without using a condom. One would have to have been living under a rock to have missed the AIDS issue for the last several decades and despite the medical advances that have been made it remains incurable (there is a difference between treatable and curable).

    It is important to remember the second rule of play, Safe, SANE and Consensual !

    • olivia

      *nods* at Eric…..I totally live by SSC and do sometimes have to remind folks that consensual applies to ME too and I don’t consent to participate in something with real life (horrible) consequences.

      You’re right about this issue with the health consequences….but, I also get this a lot with people who want to be *ruined*, *outed* or want more *public exposure* stuff than I am willing to do.

      One man kept pushing for Me to do certain things with him and I had to be very blunt and tell him flat out NO that I thought that was a bad idea for him and I wouldn’t do it. He eventually went to Vegas, found someone in person who did it and he trashed his finances, marriage, job and learned a HUGE (expensive) lesson.

      I really really really didn’t want to be *right* and was very sad for him when he IMd and said to Me, “I should have listened.” While I can’t always *make* someone listen I do have absolute control over My participation.

      THANK YOU so much for being the first to post on this Eric! As you can see in the post, I was a little nervous about the topic, but I do wade on in there and say what I feel needs to be said!
      You’re the BEST for taking your time to comment! Thank you 🙂

  • olivia

    ~laughs~ that’s right AD…..and, sometimes in the midst of total, aching arousal ….well, it’s HARD (pun intended) to think straight! I totally understand that….and am sometimes the *voice of reason* when someone is doing a phone sex session with Me and *needs* to do something I don’t think is smart 🙂 Thank you so much for taking your time to post a comment! 🙂

  • Jamie Rose

    Having more kinks than a spiral perm, I did some really stupid things with a variety of partners prior to my marriage. I was lucky then but will never risk my health or the health of my spouse again. I do sometimes re-live those experiences with some of the wonderful LDW Mistresses but what’s wrong with that.

    • olivia

      Thank you SO MUCH or adding your comment Jamie Rose! ~laughs~ I know EXACTLY what you mean about doing risky things *before* …. and I *miss* doing totally risky things because risk is adventurous and FUN ….. but, alas, nowadays that fun can turn into a nightmare which is not good. I also have certain fantasies that I’d love to experience (at I *might* at some point) or they might say just fantasy. I actually do some of MY fantasies on some phone sex calls ….. especially if he/she has the same fantasy or has done it in real life. And all I can say is………woooooooooooooooooooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  • magnus

    Hi MsOlivia!

    A downer? No, not at all. Not that I needed any reinforcement of this, but this post shows that You care about people. You’re not a heartless bitch – something I knew already of course and certainly I would not adore You the way I do if it were otherwise. We have had a number of discussions of course about fantasy vs. reality and people really should not confuse the two. Not saying that elements cannot pass across of course, but the most important thing is to always think. Don’t get so wrapped up in a fantasy that how it works in the real world is forgotten. That is what I love about this post. It says that hey, fantasy is fun and all but don’t be stupid and be unsafe. And don’t hurt others especially in your quest to become a Darwin award winner.

    I did have another related thought on this too. And that’s the whole cuckolding scenario. I thought I’d throw that in there because, You know, I am what I am. 🙂 Anyway, I am not telling anyone what to do there of course, but it is also a place where safety is very much needed. In such a case again a third person is involved and the couple needs to be careful there. Do they know him well? Are there multiple third persons? etc.

    • olivia

      ~laughs~ I love the Darwin awards magnus and I just have to shake My head and go, WTF? One of the things about phone sex is you ARE connected but it’s a safe and secure connection! I look at those guys who blow up their lives dealing with *civilians* and then, they wonder HEY what happened? I’m thinking of a certain former member of Congress who could have sent Me lots of photos of his weeeeee-neeeerrrrrrr and he’d still have a life! *sheesh*
      When it’s a fluid issue, it’s even MORE important because, you’re right…..someone can do what they want but don’t take the element of choice away from someone else. You’re right, the cuckolding fantasy is a perfect example. There are LOTS of swingers in real life …. just like porn stars get married and have commitments inside marriage…..if BOTH parties agree, then I say go to it!
      The experience of RISK is part of the fun and I’m an expert at creating safe risk…..it’s the difference between bungee jumping and simply tossing yourself off the bridge or a really tall building.

  • chrissy

    Dear Mistress Olivia,

    Thank You so much for yet another stimulating and intelligent discussion starter. Thank You also for being the voice of reason and having the courage to flag the very real health issues pertaining to un-safe sex… It is deeply tragic that disease can be transmitted through sex, but it is the world i grew up in and lost some close friends who became infected with HIV and succumbed to disease when their immune systems collapsed (this obviously pre-dates the incredibly complicated pharmaceutical treatments available today).
    Because i was wild and because i am a slut and because safer sex hadn’t really been invented yet and people shared needles with impunity, i could of been one of those early victims but thankfully, thankfully, thankfully my test(s) have always been negative. So, out of the deepest respect and love for those who weren’t as lucky as i, and self-love and love of my present and future lovers… i made a decision to practise safer sex as a physical and a spiritual commitment to Eros, and to the divinity of being a human being on this amazing planet.
    Now, having said that… at present i am wrestling with my angels because as a genetic male with a submissive female’s sexuality, i am yearning to submit entirely to my role as a sissy cock whore who takes load after load of anonymous man juice.. either in my mouth, or my pussy. i feel that to be a cock whore is an important part of my sexual evolution: i love dressing in my lingerie, i love that i look fucking hot in heels and pantyhose, i love that married guys contact me on a vanilla dating site where i have posted a profile as chrissy (“cum slut in training”) and i deeply want to experience being indiscriminately used by men. i want to feel shattered and ecstatic with smudged eye-liner and lipstick after being throat fucked by half a dozen men, i want to feel cum leaking down the insides of my thighs as i teeter home on my high-heels, i want to have that divine experience of looking up into many a man’s eyes as he is pumping his cock and about to explode all over my face … and i fantasize about these things regularly, but yearn to make them a reality.
    But at what cost… firstly, there are physical dangers that have nothing to do with STDs. i am not sure about you guys, but where i live there are still homophobes and gay bashings… anonymous sex clubs, beats and late night calls to dudes online all have a (sadly) real risk factor. And then there are the STD risks that Mistress Olivia talks about … and also, the risk of exposure or being ripped off by people whose moral and ethical universes are antithetical to my own…. So, i weigh it up… i fantasize, i yearn, i dress in my nice knickers and heels and yearn for all these masculine dudes to rock up with huge dicks and loads of cum that taste like heaven … and then i weigh it up again, and see how beautiful my life is, realise how precious my teenage son is to me, feel grateful for how my life is right now and kind of put the transmutation of fantasy into reality on hold. Which isn’t perfect… because like i said, i am a slut and chrissy likes to fuck 🙂 and i don’t totally buy that old adage that claims that “the reality never matches the fantasy”
    And, then there is this whole other thing that i have been contemplating which is the energetic ramifications of sexual fantasy… like, you are putting out all this energy as you fantasize about say Mistress Olivia 😉 and that energy never dies… and is in fact connected to all there is in the universe (think Chaos Theory and those dear old butterfly wings). So, the question becomes… when i fantasize about Mistress Olivia, how does that affect Her energetically… or, more simply: when i fantasize about Mistress Olivia is She aware of it on some level, and what does She think of my scenario? And… what about all those guys who cum on my face on a nightly basis? What do their wives think?

    PS – Mistress Olivia, i totally understand if You want to spank me for presuming to fantasize about You with Your permission. In fact, i would rather enjoy it 😉

    xoxoxxo
    chrissy SLUT

    • olivia

      ~laughs~ I think you WANT Me to spank you chrissy! You are SUCH a slut! ~grinz~
      Seriously, I love that you fantasize about Me that’s what I’m here for! I love that energy 🙂 Oh BTW, I get the experience of AMAZING ENERGY on phone sex calls and I know people are doing their thing whist replaying the call in their head…..that’s a GOOD THING ! 🙂 It’s consensual sex and consensual energy exchange.
      Not everyone agrees with the adage “fantasy is better than the reality” …. I’ve had fantasies that I’ve done in real life that worked out GREAT….and then some fantasies that I’m content to leave in fantasy for various reasons. I always say that with eroticism it’s NEVER one size fits all, it just doesn’t work that way. It’s all individual. And one of the things this honest exploration brings up is choices….the contrast inherent in making choices is part of this life journey of human-ness.
      I’ll give an example. I could be a Pro Domme but I choose to keep that part in my private (not for pay) part of My life. I could go back to various other jobs/careers but the phone sex as a livelihood suits Me beautifully. It’s all about choices and consequences of those choices.

  • chrissy

    Dear Mistress Olivia 😉 oh, how i would LOVE You to spank me 🙂
    i think that the whole fantasy to reality thing is fascinating.
    i am very happy to report that i have just found a play partner in my home town…. we played once before and it was a roaring success but then She got involved with someone else but now She is free to play, and talking on the phone tonight our fantasies fed off each other and when She commented on how strange She found it that the majority of bondage pics on the web use sub women as models, i said “well, how would You like me make my face pretty and dress in lingerie, and then be tied up by You and photographed as a genetic male who is a submissive female…” and then She said something about getting wet at the prospect. So fantasies meet and the reality promises to be far better than i may have imagined… suddenly i am totally into being tied up by Her 😉 and ohhhhh, She wants me to buy her a cane :/

    love
    xoxoxo
    chrissy

    • olivia

      That’s GREAT NEWS chrissy! Thanks for leaving a comment and I’d love for you to keep us updated on your *adventures* !! *wink* I know that you’re looking for more then phone sex and you know I totally support all efforts to get what you really and totally yearn for! 🙂 Ohhhhh….there are several really lovely artistic canes that make wicked, lovely artwork as well ! ~laughs~ not just artwork for your pert and feminine bottom! *wink*

  • JaquelineHeidi

    Mistress, you are absolutely right, and thank you for posting this. What may seem obvious to some…

    You are the ‘Sue Johanson’ of the bdsm world! (from the long-running ‘talking sex w sue radio show) You could teach a college course on this stuff.

    jh

    • olivia

      *waves* Hi JacquelineHeidi! Awwww…..sweetie, THANK YOU so much! Not only for what you said, but also for taking your time to leave a comment!
      And you’re right about Me being a natural born sex educator! ~laughs~ I love to learn and I love to teach. Often My phone sex sessions include both of these AND the fantasy! I do believe that fantasy is so great because it’s just not as *real* as real life! 🙂

  • hootie

    I don’t know much about this stuff, and Ms Olivia has been sweet enough to kind of look out for me. I have fantasies like anyone else, but have always been to straight laced to try anything out of the norm. I have a huge foot fetish, Ms Olivia only knows to well, and has gradually groomed it into a fantasy. Me being submissive doesn’t come naturally. I have always been in charge of everything, from school, sports, work, and yes even my relationship. It’s very exciting to have to give into my submission, and of course it grows more all the time. Mine grew into being cock curious, and just when I was ready to make the biggest mistake in my life, Ms Olivia, you saved me. I’ve been tossing it around in my head for along time now, and in one sitting, you straightened out my stupidness. They need to find a lock that don’t allow blood to flow to your cock. Maybe men would have a chance to think something sexy thru, without getting lost in the middle somewhere………I’m looking forward to worshipping at your feet again real soon Olivia. Thanks again.

    • olivia

      ~laughs~ awwww Hootie, thank you for that wonderful comment! I do think human beings are wired to ‘get stupid’ when in the midst of huge arousal. I’m sure that has an evolutionary purpose but it’s downright dangerous in these days of STD’s and other risks like divorce. For what? The big orgasm? Hmmmmmmm. I know I can talk you to a whopper of an orgasm without risking everything (health, life, family, etc.) so I DO look out for you guys! ~smiles~ Remember, Mistress doesn’t mean bitch! And, I’m not going to let you do something dumb without the warning. Thanks for hearing it! *wiggles bare toes at you*…..concentrate on THIS instead!

  • John Q

    OMG! Mistress!

    This isn’t a topic I’m drawn too … but that picture? I’m speechless and in love!!!! Okay, maybe it’s lust but whatever it is, I like it!

    Q

    • olivia

      ~giggles~ I know, right? Sometimes I do a blog post and say, if you don’t like the topic, just look at the photo. ~laughs~