Your job is simple.  It’s not easy, but it IS simple.

Your job is to stroke your cock for Me.  I am your Mistress Masturbatrix.  You let Me control your cock stroking.  I also control your orgasm.  I am the Experienced Mistress and your only job right now is to . . . → Read More: Masturbation manager! What’s that?]]>

Ms Olivia 1-800-601-6975

Your job is simple.  It’s not easy, but it IS simple.

Your job is to stroke your cock for Me.  I am your Mistress Masturbatrix.  You let Me control your cock stroking.  I also control your orgasm.  I am the Experienced Mistress and your only job right now is to turn your cock, your balls and your orgasm over to Me.

What is Femdom control of masturbation?

I am a Masturbatrix.  That is a cock control Mistress who is an expert at controlling your masturbation and/or your orgasm.  That’s the simple answer, but it’s more complex than that in reality and I do know that you are a complex man.  Your phone sex session allows Me to understand all the nuances that make you special.

Who needs masturbation control?

The chronic masturbator is someone who jerks off so much that it feels mechanical and somewhat boring.  Oh I know it feels good when you do it, but perhaps you sense that you’re missing out.  I know you are not getting the best orgasm possible.  When you give control of your orgasm and masturbation activities, I manage you to make sure that you get sensations that are much more FUN!

Women love to watch men masturbate!

I’ll let you in on a secret.  I am a cock tease. I love to watch you stroke for Me and I love to be the one that manages what you’re doing.  *wink*  I might even have you perform for Me and My girlfriends as you can see in this CFNM cock stroking blog post.

When I am your masturbation manager you’ll experience a change in the lineup, the team will have staying power, the bench will be deep and the franchise will flourish!  ~laughs~  I’m the new manager in town and there will be a shakeup that leaves you gasping!  Wouldn’t this erotic audio be a memorable sports press conference?  ~wink~

Are you ready to have this Experienced Mistress take you in hand (so to speak) so, you too, can feel sensations unlike any you have experienced thus far in your life!

Ms Olivia

My Schedule (I’ll be back on Wednesday, Nov. 2nd) — Ways to talk with Me

How do you spice up your sex life when you are IN a relationship?

Maybe you’re married or you’ve been together for a while.  The ‘ohhhhhhh new sex’ smell (like the new car smell) has left the erotic interactions between you and your partner.  Sometimes life . . . → Read More: Phone sex for couples – heat up the sex!]]>

Olivia 1-800-601-6975

How do you spice up your sex life when you are IN a relationship?

Pay attention to the sex

Maybe you’re married or you’ve been together for a while.  The ‘ohhhhhhh new sex’ smell (like the new car smell) has left the erotic interactions between you and your partner.  Sometimes life (all the commitments, stresses, realities of living with another person) gets in the way.  Sometimes it’s other things, things that can signal difficulties in other areas of the relationship.

Great sex is critical to the health of any relationship

Before I left for a long weekend (and My own great sex LOL), I had an AMAZING experience!  I talked with a couple who are exploring using phone sex calls together to heat up their relationship!  WOW!  I love this couple!  The guidance of an Experienced Mistress can help them explore fantasies that are sexy for them both.

This particular couple isn’t the first couple that has contacted Me about phone sex erotic coaching.  They are fun and open.  They might get into a little bit of sensual domination and cock control at some point.  Right now, they are totally *into* one another and that makes Me totally into THEM.  Here’s the IM Chat I had when the man, who is a crossdresser, contacted Me on IM.

IM Chat about phone sex for couples

Man:  Hello.  Please im me when you are off the phone.  thank you.

Olivia:  Hi there, I’m off the call now. Thank you so much for waiting, I don’t IM while on calls.  But, I’m with you now!

Man:  My wife and i are interested in calling, how do you do with couples?

Olivia:  I love couples !

Man: We tried a call with another Mistress, but my wife thought she was a little to dominating and fake.  she is looking for a girlfriend to talk to her honestly about what we are doing.

Olivia:  ahhhhhhh………  BUT that’s really good to know.  AND……I really am …. *real*.  Have you seen my blog?  I post a lot of IM chats that I have with callers about phone sex, Femdom, etc.  That can give you an idea……I’m not much on the “I am Mistress hear ME roar” kind of thing.  LOL  BTW, I love that your wife will call with you!  Can you tell me more about you, her, your relationship and what you’re looking for?  *whew* I just read that……that’s a LOT of questions!   Thank you in advance for answering!  LOL

His wife likes his crossdressing

Man:  She started dressing me up in woman’s lingerie about four years ago.  she also makes me wear it under my clothes once in a while.  she also likes to put makeup on me and fake nails.  We have toys and she like me to use them on her when i am dressed up

Olivia:  OMG !!!!!!  You are SOOOOOOO blessed and lucky!  You totally KNOW that right?

Man:  yes

Olivia:  *nods*  Good!  thought so…..wow, your wife sounds AMAZING and, actually, a lot like me (open and curious).  That is FANTASTIC!  I love to work with couples where the wife/partner is *into* it…….I have done sessions where the woman is kind of passive/aggressive in saying she wants to do it but then doesn’t and doesn’t do it but won’t communicate about why.  BLEH……that’s not fun and not sexy.  What are you looking for with your wife?  And, do you want to call as a couple …. or her solo?

Man:  We would call as a couple.  we are very honest and open with each other

Olivia:  Great!  I get that!  AND, depending on what you want…..she can also call solo ……girl bonding, etc.  PLUS, I’m more than happy to email with her as well.  Tell Me more.

Man:  I could tell you she made me wear satin panties today.

Olivia:  ~laughs~  and you feel GREAT don’t you?

Man:  ya

Olivia:  Hey, I post a lot of IM Chats…….this one, and your questions, would be ideal to post on my blog.  Can I post it?  (taking out your IM, identifiers, etc.)

Man:  if you do that it would be ok.

Olivia:  Great and thank you!  Tell Me more.  What are you looking for and how can I help?

Man:  Just as an example.  a couple of weeks ago before we called (another Mistress) my wife made me go out and get a pedicure and gave me a bottle of her pink nail polish for them to paint my toes

Olivia:  *nods*  That’s FUN and sexy!  How did you broach the subject of crossdressing with your wife?  Before you got married?  How did you find HER?

They actually talk about erotic desires!

Man:  We met through friends.  dressing me up just came out of conversations after we were married.  we had deep conversations about our fantasies and desires.  neither one of us judged each other.  i made us even closer.

Olivia:  Yes!  That is much like me and my guy….the fact that I do phone sex sort of *made* us have the initial conversation.  But, he reacted the same way.  Not with judgment and not overly interested (creepy) either.   It has made us very close too.  Honesty (without judgment) does wonders for intimacy…..sexual and personal.  What has your wife learned?

Phone sex as a kick start

Man:  The way phone sex came up was we were just brainstorming about how we could spice up our sex life.  it was good before we had kids.  we are looking for ways to get it kick started again

Olivia:  *nods* ahhhhh…..yes.  Good for you both!

Man:  she has learned that the things we do in the bedroom are just between us, and they are special.  also, that it helps us talk about other things not related to sex much easier.

Olivia:  Yes!!!  I totally agree!  Can you give an example?

The adult conversation about sex has benefits throughout the relationship

Man:  finances for one.  things that happened in her life before i met her. she can talk openly and help her get through them.  we all have things from our past we just need to get out and share with somone so we get is off our mind or be at peace with it.

Olivia:  *nods*  Those are both tough topics for any relationship.  It sounds like you’re communicating from intimacy and trust …. which always makes financial conversations with your partner soooooo much easier, not to mention, more effective!  On a personal note, I’m SO THRILLED for you……for you both!  I can’t tell you how many men contact me and they’re just miserable in their real life relationship/marriage!  How can I assist you both?

Man:  i think it would be great if we gave you a call.  the only thing is we would need to do it at 10:45pm eastern.  we have (names the reason)  and want to make sure (things are handled) before we do things.

Olivia:  That’s later than I normally am on.  But, if you want to do an appt. I will do that for you b/c I find y’all interesting.  (( We set the date.))

Man:  looking forward to speaking with you!   thanks for everything.

Olivia:  Thank YOU !!!  I’m really looking forward to talking with you both!

We did have the session and it was soooo sweet and sexy, naughty and hot!  One of the things I particularly liked was talking with his wife.  He’s VERY LUCKY!  And, note that they both sat down and did a brainstorming session about what to do to spice things up in the bedroom.  How many people (couples) are actually THAT intentional about their love life?  We do things like brainstorming in a work setting because it’s an effective technique to get new ideas.  Good for them for taking charge of their love life!  Things like this keep relationships fresh and vibrant!

As always….comments, questions, reactions, etc.

Ms Olivia

He is often credited as the ‘grandfather’ of rap and hip-hop.  He’s been “sampled” by a number of artists.  His quirky, often acerbic, poetry set to jazz never caught on in the pop music market.  But, Gil Scott-Heron’s art, wordplay, . . . → Read More: Departures: Gil Scott-Heron RIP]]>

Gil Scott-Heron, poet / musician / political commentator died yesterday in a NY Hospital.

He is often credited as the ‘grandfather’ of rap and hip-hop.  He’s been “sampled” by a number of artists.  His quirky, often acerbic, poetry set to jazz never caught on in the pop music market.  But, Gil Scott-Heron’s art, wordplay, and intellectual clarity has had a huge influence on many people, including me.

“The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” is a phrase that actually ended up used in advertising tag lines …. wow, THAT was one of the most surreal moments ever when I heard that on TV on night!

Like many profoundly talented people, Gil Scott-Heron had his ‘demons.’  But, that cliche doesn’t begin to touch the complexity of his intellect and artistry.  He lived life having fierce conversations about things that matter.  On the way, he was challenged by his own passions, physical chemistry and risky behavior.

I went to see him in Washington, DC last summer.  I stayed for all four days and went to every show.  He was promoting his new album, “I’m New Here.”   ((An ironic title, because he’d never ‘left’  … this was his ‘jab’ at those music critics who thought he went on hiatus.)  His voice wasn’t as silky smooth but his riffs (stories, humor and rants) between the music made me think, laugh, cry and above all be very grateful I was able to see him in person. He looked physically frail when I handed him a bouquet of flowers before the first show.   Those 8 shows are the only time I’ve seen him in concert.  I lived a dream that week.  He played a gig.

May Gil Scott-Heron rest in peace.

Playing with the word ‘peace’ as he did in “Bicentennial Blues” …. Gil Scott-Heron loved peace, fought for peace, might have peace now.  A piece of him lives on in memory.

Peace.

I love your comments and questions on My blog!

I also enjoy when you contact Me via IM.  This post is a reprint of is a blog comment posted by chrissy who contacted Me first via IM.

((Thank you all for being understanding that I’m not always able to do the . . . → Read More: The dilema of a crossdresser]]>

Olivia 1-800-601-6975

I love your comments and questions on My blog!

I also enjoy when you contact Me via IM.  This post is a reprint of is a blog comment posted by chrissy who contacted Me first via IM.

((Thank you all for being understanding that I’m not always able to do the free IM Chats in real time.)) I quickly realized that chrissy’s comments needed more individual attention then I’m able to give in the free IM chats and so I directed her to My blog.

About chrissy

chrissy is a crossdresser who, as you can see, has used crossdressing phone sex for years as a way to experience these feelings as a submissive crossdresser.  I want to post her entire comment and then in the coming days, I’ll respond specifically to various aspects of her questions and comments.

I think the fundamental issue that chrissy is addressing will ring true for many of us.  It’s how to explore erotic needs, desires and sex fetish issues in a way that is safe and sane.  Of course, phone sex itself is an ideal outlet AND she, like many of us, struggles to bring the fantasy more into real life.  She puts it this way:  “Its the struggle for integrity, self honesty and functionality in the real world!!”  I can relate chrissy and I suspect our readers (cock control fans you know who you are!) here on My blog can relate as well!

chrissy’s comment  (section labels in bold are my only changes)

Dear Empress Olivia,

Thank You so much for Your time on IM, it was really great to have a quick chat. As You instructed, i have posted the gist of our conversation below and i look forward to hearing Your responses at Your convenience.

phone sex and the real world for men in lingerie

i have done sessions on and off with various beautiful LDW Mistresses, and have accrued some real time experience over the years. As a part of my training, i have been required to wear panties at all times; required to buy panties, bras and make up and to tell the sales Girl that the items are for me; required to get my legs waxed, nails done and keep my pubic hair shaved and/or groomed into a girlie triangle above my clitty; i have been made to wear butt plugs; enticed to suck cocks; threatened with chastity and served as a sissy maid at a femdom tea party, plus played with some Dommes in the local scene.

crossdressing crossroad

Recently, i have become aware that i am at a crossroads. i know deep down that i need to integrate my kinks into my life, or to somehow move away from them entirely (which i know is impossible). At present it is a secret i keep, even from partners… and have learnt that through non-disclosure of my kinks i am kind of fucking up the honesty of the relationship. The dynamic of the sex in the relationship is founded on a half-truth…which then sort of leaks out into other areas of the relationship.

i am trying to work out a way of being at peace with it, and living it at an appropriate level in general life. In other words, i want to live my kinks without losing credibility or becoming a walking freak show at the local mall where i buy my panties… If that makes any sense!!

crossdressing conflicts

The conflicts i feel are sophisticated and quite deep… its not just a matter of feeling shame, or suffering guilt, or freaking out about duplicity in relationships. It’s a struggle i wage within myself, a real push and pull between major forces which (to simplify) can be broken down to “light” and “dark”, “feminine” and “masculine”, “defiant” and “submissive” etc. i am trying to figure out an equilibrium that works for me. Sometimes when i get into this stuff i feel a dissolution of self set in that is deeply corrosive… and totally contra-creative … and i can’t go there without abandoning or betraying myself. But when i desist entirely … i feel deeply lonely!!! Even if i am in a vanilla thing and very well loved.

real life issues for men who love to crossdress

i have a very full and successful life with a lot of vanilla friends who i love… but i do not want to lay my kink out in front of them. In other words, i do not want my kinks to encroach on my vanilla life, but nor do i want the vanilla to eclipse my kinks… i say this having recently ended a relationship with a beautiful vanilla woman.

Its the struggle for integrity, self honesty and functionality in the real world!!

And NOW i AM laughing at myself and blushing a rather fetching pink!!

Yours very truly,
chrissy

Dearest chrissy, I’ll be responding to the specifics of your comments and questions in the coming days.  Let Me just let you know that you are not alone!  We have a variety of essays with practical suggestions for crossdressers and you know you’ll get the personal touch (so to speak) with Me.  I’d like the regular readers of this blog to also post comments because even if your kink or fetish is different from chrissy’s I know you have (or are currently) negotiating this path.  So, let’s hear from you!

Ms Olivia

Just like with everything, there are degrees of Dominance and submission.  Don’t worry if you are new to phone sex or communicating, for the first time, with this Experienced Mistress.  There are lots of things to learn and explore.  Since yesterday’s post was about the edgy Femdom play of the . . . → Read More: Levels of play with phone sex.]]>

Ms Olivia 1-800-601-6975

Just like with everything, there are degrees of Dominance and submission.  Don’t worry if you are new to phone sex or communicating, for the first time, with this Experienced Mistress.  There are lots of things to learn and explore.  Since yesterday’s post was about the edgy Femdom play of the erotic mindfuck I’m going to backtrack a bit.

Variety of levels of play

There is something joyful about a woman who enjoys sex!  *nods*  I know!  ~laughs~  I’m actually surprised how many people settle for ‘less’ in the erotic pleasure department.  My phone sex sessions run the entire range from sensual to strict …. from erotic conversation to intense fetish sex.   You can read My blog to see the variety of things I discuss.  I really AM the Experienced Mistress.  Don’t worry if you’re new or shy, I will ask you questions to figure out exactly what you want, even if you’re having trouble describing what you want.

You choose the level of play

How often do you feel heard?  I mean, REALLY feel heard?  In My experience most people don’t listen to what others say.  ~laughs~  I am a trained and skilled listener.   Sometimes a caller simply needs someone who listens.   We can talk about anything and everything.  I’ve had conversations about sex / sexual issues / sexuality / relationships, job or family issues all the way to non-serious topics like My ‘odd’ wish list, music, current events, travel …. really, anything.

Erotic conversations and sensual roleplay are, of course, very popular.  With a phone sex fantasy we can create any kind of scene.  Maybe you know what you want or maybe we create together something that is super hot.

Cock control is an amazing thing!  Think back to your first experience of something like guided masturbation.  It’s totally different when I’m telling you what to do and how to do it.  From there we can move to any level of tease and denial.  Of course, the ultimate is orgasm denial!  LOL  You get to choose the levels of play and then I get to create!

Question for you

I’d like to hear from you.  Where did you start out and how has your own level of sexual play changed under the guidance of a Mistress?  As always, I love your comments and will reply to each and every comment here.

Ms Olivia

I have several callers who adore the rush of a delicately placed mindfuck.  This is where the sensations are way more than just physical …. the center of erotic arousal is primarily in the mind (such a terrible thing to waste, eh?).

I’m thinking of this right now because the stroker . . . → Read More: The mindfuck described]]>

Olivia 1-800-601-6975

I have several callers who adore the rush of a delicately placed mindfuck.  This is where the sensations are way more than just physical …. the center of erotic arousal is primarily in the mind (such a terrible thing to waste, eh?).

I’m thinking of this right now because the stroker addict called last night.  He also very much enjoys the *rush* of being publicly exposed during his sessions.  Sooooo …. during our call I posted a poll on Enchantrix Empire asking if he should be allowed to cum.  ~laughs~

My origin of the wicked sensual mindfuck

Want to know what the secret is?  Hope.  This Experienced Mistress uses hope in an interesting way during a mindfuck.  Think back to the ancient *myth* of Pandora’s box.  Pandora is created as a beautiful and talented Woman for pleasure and companionship.  She is naturally curious when Jupiter’s messenger shows up with a mysterious container (some say box, some say jar).

Erotic story with a zinger

The mindfuck is a yummy erotic story with barbs that throw you around the emotional rollercoaster.  Just like in Pandora’s time.  Life is grand for the ancients.  Until …. the lovely Pandora opens the box and unwittingly unleashes the *evils* on mankind (pain, fear, suffering, etc.).  She is shocked by the sounds outrage as the evils take their toll on her companions so Pandora seals up the box.  Is that the end?  No.  Pandora hears a sweet voice calling to her from inside the box …. a voice that offers, well, HOPE.  So, she opens up the vessel and out comes the last evil … HOPE.  Personally, I think that event describes the beginning of the erotic mindfuck.  ~laughs~

How to do a mindfuck?

Some of the actual techniques of humiliation are, of course, similar between various Mistresses.    Many of the words of cock control are necessarily the same.  But there is an ART to erotic humiliation and the mindfuck is the ultimate in sensual (and wicked) Femdom.   Just like with other art forms — Picasso and Titian used the ‘same’ paint but produced very different types of images.

Use of hope during a tease and denial session

Cock tease and denial sessions via phone sex require a vivid imagination, effective understanding of language, intuition about the caller and more.  What constitutes *more* depends on the caller …. it is personal, intimate, edgy and intense …. this is where I use HOPE as a double edged sword.

One caller describes his mindfuck

Here’s how one recent caller describes his conversation with Me:  “I was in a state I’ve never been in after the call.  Unlike any other experience I’ve ever had.  Somehow you managed to get it very different.  Being sent back to dispatch was the same but totally different.  Very humiliating and exciting at the same time.  I haven’t thought of anything but you since the call ended.  Waiting for you nonstop.  Waiting to see when you sign in.  Checking the sites to see when you sign in.  It’s very humiliating but I can’t stop doing it.”

This is a different sort of *rush* than an orgasm. For those that enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions in the art of erotic humiliation and/or orgasm denial a good mindfuck  stays with you longer than le petit mort.

How does this post make you feel?  What are you thoughts?

*wink*  Are you ready for HOPE?  ~laughs~

Ms Olivia