Ms Olivia 1-800-601-6975

Every time I ask you how much interaction you want before a phone sex session I’m always told, LOTS!  So, it’s time to address that question.  You can see from My blog that I’m generous with My time and attention.  I like to answer questions, be a guide and even flirt with you on IM before a session.

The very things like make Me welcoming on IM can (and do) also limit My ability to do the free chats between calls!   I want to explain this because yesterday several men on IM were trying to do the *warm up* to a session and then call — but they couldn’t get through to Me because of the guys that actually called while they were still warming up.  For them, it became a not so sexy form of tease and denial!

Warm up before a session

I know that people like to do phone sex foreplay!  LOL  That’s the IM warm up.  I get  questions from sissies or crossdressers who ask, “Mistress what should I wear?”  Regular callers will IM asking Me to create a new fetish fantasy or erotic scene for them on IM so they can think about it (stroke) before calling.  Others will want Me to get them *in the mood* before they call.  When you wait to book a session or call, you run the risk of not being able to get Me at all.  I’m not advocating calling before you’re ready, but I do want you to know what your choices and options are so you can make informed and realistic decisions about what you DO want.

IM availability and what happens on My end

When I’m logged in I keep My yahoo IM set to available.  You’re more than welcome to IM Me.  This means that when I’m logged in I might have as many as a dozen different IM windows open, chatting with 10 or more people about a variety of topics.  I interact with each person in rotation.  That means there will be delays in My comments to each individual.  And, when I get a call or a session I stop the free IM chat.  So, from your end you’ve got delays and then gaps of time between My responses.  I’m also not as *attentive* or *present* as I am in a session because I’m multi-tasking.  If you’d like to wait, that’s fine!  But if you get frustrated, you have options – you can get My total and undivided attention immediately with a sexy texting session or a call.

Creating a scene on free IM chat

Since I usually have multiple IM windows open and engaging in free chat on a variety of subjects I don’t create ‘new scenes’ for your fetish fantasies during the free IM chat.  I’m not in the undivided headspace of YOUR erotic fantasy and I’m not going to shortchange My art of creating fantasy.  If you want undivided attention and specific fantasy creation then that is available in sessions.

We have LOTS of free stuff to enjoy —- totally fun sissy assignments, wicked humiliation assignments, free erotic audios on all manner of cock control and MORE!  We also have a free adult social networking site where you can interact with Mistresses and like-minded kinky people.   Enjoy!

Comments?  Questions?  Reaction?

Ms Olivia

Olivia 1-800-601-6975

This was the day of my first phone sex call.   I was dressed for suck-sess and feeling more than a little nervous.  I’ve done phone sex with partners for years but never before as a paid partner.

My questions before the first call

What would happen?  Could I do what the guy wanted?  Would I like it as much as I like phone sex in my private life? Should I tell him if I get turned on?  Is is okay for me to masturbate with the guy on the phone?  So many emotions and questions!

The first call

I carefully prepared everything.  I was wearing lingerie, stockings and high heels.  Really!  I looked (and felt) totally sexy hot!  I was ready!

Ready or not here they cum

The phone rang!  My nerves propelled me out of my chair.  I was wearing high heels and wobbled a bit from the sheer speed of ascent!  I grabbed the phone and then promptly dropped it!  ~laughing~   So, when I say I understand what it’s like for you to MAKE that first phone sex call I totally get it!

His reaction to me

There was an unknown MAN on the line!  Well, I knew that would happen but, like we’ve talked about it’s one thing to imagine something and it’s another to experience it.  I said hello there in what I thought would be a sexy voice and he laughed.  WHAT ?

I started laughing too.  That broke the ice so to speak.  He said, I see you’re new on the site and I blurted out, “You’re my very first phone sex call!” He told me the ‘sexy’ voice was artificial and just let things flow naturally.  I settled down.  He said, don’t *try* to be something, just be yourself.  The BEST bit of advice ever!

I got an experienced caller

I totally lucked out!  I got a regular LDW caller who was so fantastic with me … he was smart and funny and very generous with a newbie to this arena.  We didn’t get right into a sex call, it was more a conversation about erotic things.  Looking back on that first call, I realize that I’m giving back much of what that first caller gave to me. When you call you don’t get the pretend sexy voice or the fakey laugh.  You get me.

Today, I’m the Experienced Mistress

Today, more than three years later, I can jump into various fetish fantasies if that’s what you want.  I have real life experiences with crossdressers via My photography work.  My natural Femdom tendencies have flourished!  I’ve become an expert at cock control and I love that!  I find I was a cuckoldress even before I know about cuckolding as a sexual fetish.  We can also have fun conversations about anything and those don’t even have to be about anything overtly sexual or erotic.

All of these conversations have given me a new appreciation of men (in ALL your facets).  I find that you all have opened up avenues for sexual exploration in me that were not fully expressed before. The Experienced Mistress became who I am today, in part, because My first phone sex call was from an experienced caller!

So, that’s my first phone sex call.  Let’s hear about YOURS!  You know I want to know!

Ms Olivia

Olivia 1-800-601-6975

Do YOU want your fetish play or kinky sex to involve your real life partner?  That’s a really common issue among the men here.  I’ve done various posts about the reality of men and real sex …. including how many of you handle your sex secrets and talking with your partner about your sex secrets.

Some people, for various reasons, want to keep this aspect of themselves to the safety, privacy and fantasy level of phone sex.  That’s why I’m here! Erotic conversation, kinky companionship or hot explicit naughty sex is perfect for many people.

Some of you want the variety of having a talented Mistress whispering naughty words in your ear as you masturbate for Mistress.  Still others of you have practical issues like those faced by crossdressers and sissy boys.  There are a variety of reasons why phone sex is an ideal solution in your life.  But, some men want to bring the fantasy to life with their real life intimate partner.  They often call Me and ask for help doing that.

Foot fetish in a real life marriage

One guy, with a foot fetish, has struggled with trying to get his wife to understand and then DO what he wants.  You can see the original IM chat with foot guy in the full form.  Since that original IM chat, we’ve IMd several times.  The other day he contacted Me to tell Me the latest in his quest!

Let’s first recap.  This is the followup to the original IM.   I post this part first so you can SEE his frustration.  Can YOU relate to what he’s feeling?!  Keep reading and you’ll find out what the current situation is.

Horny man frustrated with his wife

MN: Hey hon

empress.olivia: hey there !

MN: how are you
MN: I think my wife is why there are “phone Mistresses”

empress.olivia: What do you mean?

MN: because you are able to disconnect enough for it to work
MN: or maybe it’s cause you don’t have to dis-connect

empress.olivia: I’m not following you.

MN: you can totally connect, but she can’t dis-connect enough to enjoy the role and then re-connect for a regular relationship

empress.olivia: ohhhhhhh !!!!!!  Now I get it !

MN: you don’t have to dis-connect and re-connect
MN: you only have to connect

empress.olivia: That’s so funny, I’m doing a blog comment answer about that right now.  But here’s the thing…..I DO have to connect / dis-connect with My real life guy.  So I get it…….BUT, remember your wife doesn’t have the wealth of experience that I have.

MN: that’s very true.  Yeah, but with us (the customer) you only have to play the role they want and not worry about tomorrow

empress.olivia: Not necessairly ….. because I DO think about tomorrow……I have ongoing relationships with callers.  There IS a tomorrow!

MN: I didn’t mean it like that

MN: I hope ours is an ongoing (phone sex relationship) but ours would be an on going one with me loving on your feet and playing our scenerio.  Not my mistress tonight, and my romantic, by the candle light honey the next

empress.olivia: *nods* yes you’re right.  And with My real life guy it’s totally the Domme one night and the cuddle the next or even the SAME NIGHT.

Relationship with his wife after fetish request suggested by Mistress

MN: My and my wife’s relationship has changed a little, but very slow

empress.olivia: One thing, this is your sex fantasy…….she may NEVER initiate it.  It’s different with Me as a phone Mistress.  When you call, I know you want Me to initiate it and I do.

MN: I understand that

empress.olivia: Have you actually sat down in a non-seuxal situation and said, I really want YOU to initiate it.

MN: I explained it to her but she doesn’t feel comfy initiating it

empress.olivia: Maybe she will never initiate out of the blue…….but a compromise could be that you ASK her to initiate it and she does.  Does she want YOU to give HER a signal of what you want?

MN: I explained I was looking for the submissive feeling that only her making me do it would fulfill
MN: trying explaining it in different ways, I’m sure understanding it isn’t the problem
MN: she just isn’t into being forceful

He says, she says

empress.olivia: okay, so is she telling you NO?

MN: I tried to explain she doesn’t have to be forceful
MN: just get me to do it the same way she gets me to do everything else, with her witty little ways
MN: If I was to just sit down and start on her feet on my own, I could do them everyday

empress.olivia: Is she telling you that she doesn’t want to DO that?

MN: She hasn’t said so in so many words, and has actually said she would try
MN: or she has something planned, but it just never seems to come around
MN: she read something on the computer under foot fetish, and said she had a couple of ideas, but we haven’t done anything since

empress.olivia: Maybe she will never initiate out of the blue…….but a compromise could be that you ASK her to initiate it and she does.  I could be STRUCTURAL…..it sounds to ME like she is TRYING and that’s HUGE !
empress.olivia: So……have another conversation……
empress.olivia: ask HER if she wants you to tell her when to start.

MN: and meanwhile I stay blue balled

empress.olivia: She might not KNOW!

MN: I’ve told her, anytime she feels like it, or even to just have fun and have me get off, just to keep her control
MN: and keep me milked

empress.olivia: Okay, so what SHE is telling you (non verbally) is that she is NOT going to do that.
empress.olivia: You have a couple choices here.

MN: maybe she just don’t know how to get started gaining the control

empress.olivia: YES !
empress.olivia: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you…..
empress.olivia: now, I’m going to ask again:  Have you asked her if she would like YOU to tell her when you want to initiate a scene?

MN: no I haven’t asked

empress.olivia: Okay…..so she has said YES to everything you’ve actually ASKED right?

MN: for the most part–yeah
MN: she’s my honey

What his wife does that makes him so frustrated

empress.olivia: okay…..what have you actually asked for that she is not doing?

MN: just gaining her control and using it. making me do her feet or at least have me let go once a day or no more than every other day
MN: she has me go too long without (orgasm)
MN: way to long

empress.olivia: Okay…….so she has actually TOLD you that she doesn’t feel comfortable with initiating control over you for sex.

MN: like really really lonnnngggggggg

empress.olivia: LOL … not really funny I know.  Seriously, you may have an answer, you just don’t like it.

MN: lol
MN: what, when…………

empress.olivia: You’ve asked her to be in control of WHEN the play starts and she’s said no….is that correct?

MN: didn’t say no, just don’t do it
MN: says she’ll try, just don’t do it
MN: says she’ll get out of bed, just don’t do it
MN: says she’ll fix dinner, just don’t do it
MN: c the pattern

empress.olivia: Okay……so her ACTIONS are giving you her answer.
empress.olivia: right?

MN: hell no,  keeps me confused
MN: sounds great, just don’t do it

empress.olivia: Okay………

MN: oh yeah baby, just don’t do it

empress.olivia: wait wait wait……can you focus?

MN: just can’t do it
MN: lol
MN: yeah,  I am

empress.olivia: okay…….

MN: I am focused.  I’ve been doing good

Suggestion from the Experienced Mistress

empress.olivia: Sit her down and ASK this question:
empress.olivia: Honey, I want to know if you are willing to take over the session if I tell you I want to start it.
empress.olivia: THAT way she doesn’t have to GUESS about when to initiate it.

MN: anytime would work

empress.olivia: Your comments about every other day and such are probably totally overwhelming…..
empress.olivia: telling her ANYTIME is overwhelming.

MN: so, what about if I let her, or get her to do this, will this mess up our daily life in the rest of our relationship?

empress.olivia: Hold on…..we haven’t clarified the first part.
empress.olivia: Let Me make sure I understand your complaint…..
empress.olivia: you want HER to initiate it ‘anytime’ and she isn’t…..is that correct?

MN: within our comfort zone…..sure

Plain talk – his complaint

empress.olivia: SAY what your complaint is……just the complaint.

MN: does not initiate having me at her feet, and doesn’t push me as far as I want it to go
MN: or as often as is needed

empress.olivia: GOTCHA.
MN: I know you do

empress.olivia: Can you wait on the *pushing you how far you want to go*
empress.olivia: and just concentrate on the TIMING ?

MN: getting her to understand it is another trick all together

empress.olivia: getting a text session…..
MN: ok
MN:  I’ll catch ya later

Time goes by

We chat on IM periodically and he stays frustrated but kept listening to My coaching.  That is REALLY hard to do when your balls are full and aching for the exact kind of sex fetish orgasm release that sends you to the moon and back.  But, HM kept trying.  Like he thought he’d been trying for decades but now he had some coaching from the Experienced Mistress.

Talk about a happy ending

HM: Just wanted to say hey, and that after alot of patience, and catering, and babying the issue around for awhile, things have come along way, and I now enjoy, not only loving on her feet, but have increased our frequency 10 fold.  Thanks Olivia for your help, and your patience, as we all know I’m not real good at waiting, but through your guidance and outlining, you’ve helped a 30 yr marriage feel kinda new again. Thanks alot and as always “Mmmmmmeeerrrrrrrcccyyyyyy, tore up from the floor up”     lol    c ya

empress.olivia
OMG, can I post that foloup !?

HM:  np
sorry to bother ya
know you’re busy
just wanted to let ya know

empress.olivia
yer makin’ me tear up……
seriously……
that is SO GREAT !!!!!
For you BOTH baby !!!!

HM: aawwww, seriously, you helped alot
and she’s more like my little honey again

empress.olivia
*pumps fist*
YES !
I knew it………
I really did think that patience would pay off !

HM:
wasn’t sure I was gonna make it

empress.olivia
LOL
I know!

HM:
thanks again hon
hope I’m not messing up someones time
says you’re in text,
I didn’t expect an answer
was just gonna let ya know the deal
and wanted to thank you and all your responders

empress.olivia
OH!
I forgot to change that !
LOL
I’m going to post this right after the current IM series.

HM:  some responders helped, some not so much, but even if I didn’t like the comment, I knew I didn’t like them and that helped too

empress.olivia
*nods*
YES !

HM:
ok   hope it helps someone else
you’re awesome, – ya know that?

empress.olivia
I think that’s critical……you can listen to everyone and then ultimately you need to make decisions that feel right to YOU and your circumstances.
Awwww…..now, don’t give Me a big head.
LOL
It’s MY ROLE to give you a big head…..*wink*
I’m playin’………

HM:
just being cool enough to help an ole fart like me
that’s cool

empress.olivia
seriously, you know we’ve talked about your marriage and I really do get it that you’ve got a GOOD marriage……..
and that’s not something to take lightly!

HM:
no,  she’s my honey

Why hot sex is important to a marriage

empress.olivia
But, whew baby……30 years……that’s a long time to keep the HOT SPICE in the bedroom going.

HM:
glad to get over that dam old hurdle

empress.olivia
AND, that’s kind of a difficult thing for *civilian* women to negotiate…….
simply because they are busy, etc.

HM:
yeah, but we (my wife and I) are supposed to be better than most, always have been

empress.olivia
I can tell you……MEN think about sex much more time wise…….but women LOVE sex!
And we love sex with our man…..unless there are basic or systemic problems in the marriage itself.

HM:
average hasn’t ever been good enough for me or mine

empress.olivia
*nods*
I know that about you …… you are a great guy, cute as all get out…….
and I really wanted to work with you to get this one thing GOING

HM:
now look who’s giving who a big head
it worked

empress.olivia:  I love it when I HEAR you say that you’re tore up from the floor up from one of My fantasies……but, I REALLY wanted you to say that about your wife!  Does that sound really WEIRD?
LOL
You know how I mean that, right?
I’m part therapist, part detective, part kinky investigative reporter……LOL

HM:
no, you achieved, or helped me achieve something I’ve worked on for 30 yrs. and had basically given up, and it had caused problems with the rest of sex life

What did HE do and can you do it too?

empress.olivia
*nods*
What happened?
Did she just need some time without being pressured to perform the way you wanted her to perform?

HM:
we had all but quit, but things have fired up again now, and I figure will continue to burn for awhile, now that she has so many areas to work from
I didn’t pressure her for along time, but she needed to understand how important it was
she just didn’t realize

empress.olivia:  She finally HEARD you !
But, you SPOKE it…right…..you said it out loud……I think that’s the key.

HM:  yeah, I’m kinda stubborn when it comes to being heard.  She just wasn’t hearing what I was trying to say b4

empress.olivia
*nods*
YES !
In a relationship sometimes what your partner is saying becomes like wallpaper, you don’t SEE it!  Or, in this case, HEAR it!  That comes with familiarity and it’s part of being human.

HM:
we both listen a little more, face it, she wanted it better too.

Wife wants better sex too !

empress.olivia
REALLY ?
OMG……what did SHE say about wanting it better too?

HM:
and we came to some compromises

empress.olivia
Women LOVE to *win* with their man!
What were the compromises?

Action Steps!  LOL

HM:  a little more attentiveness
a little more non-sexual attention, and a little more romance, which would come with me being happy about our sex life together letting her realize how much I had gone along already and it was time to give a little on her side too
and I would give on some issues she wanted the romance, a little more help around the house inside, some of the old attention she used to get 100 yrs ago  lol
you know, the woman thing

empress.olivia
*smiling…..BIG SMILE*

HM:
well hon, it’s getting late, I have to get ready to try and make a dollar. It was good to hear from ya again, thanks a bunch ‘hugs’  and I’ll catch ya later

empress.olivia
THANK YOU so much for telling Me.
Seriously, you have MADE My day !
I’m sooooooo thrilled for you BOTH !

HM:   well, I’m glad it helps you too.  Thanks again.

empress.olivia
hugs and go make that dollar…..bring a bunch of spring flowers home for NO reason.

HM:  one slow lick and kiss up your arch
just to think about

empress.olivia  ~laughs~ get yer bad self outta here baby !  hugs !

HM:
c ya

Questions for you

What have you learned or been inspired to consider as a result of seeing the outcome of HM and his wife?  For those of you who are married, does this chat make you feel hopeful, wistful, or another emotion?  For those of you who are single, does this help you begin to see how you might choose to handle your fetish and erotic desires at the beginning of the relationship to make sure you get your erotic needs are met?  As always, I want to hear from you

*wiggles My lovely toes in celebration*

Ms Olivia

Words and language.  Masculine energy/feminine energy.  Breath.  The whisper of the most intimate.  Erotic conversation with me can be so much more then what you may think of as phone sex, and the various implications of cock control for men, crossdressers and sissies alike.  This experienced Mistress so enjoys our masturbation sessions in all their glory.

It “can” be as simple as all that …. Or, it can go beyond into uncharted territory.  When we’re both on the same page, dancing in unison to some primal musical score … what becomes available is an intimacy that unfolds … it is tangible … very real although the nature of a phone sex call itself is in the realm of so-called fantasy.  For me, that sensual dance is much like what I appreciate about music.  To me, music can be both, ethereal and real.

Music triggers everything in me …All that I am comes to attention while the music swirls around, outside/inside, passion and possibility.  Whim and whimsy.   Hope and yearning.  Telling stories that touch me … Touching me in the place beyond words …. And, if you’ve called me, you know I love the intricacies available with language…so, to go beyond that place is …well, I have no words, which alone says a lot.

Sometimes a caller and I connect …. In the language of words, breath, and the delicious intimacy of like-minded curious personalities.  In those moments, your call and you begin to live as music in my very being …. Acoustic … soaring….funky Motown, tantric techno, swinginess of swing, complexity of the classics, music through the ages, luscious stories from musicals … beyond and yet encompassing all the different “types” of music …. Access to ALL, faith from beauty and truth … tone and rhythm pulsing, urgent and intense.  Your calls become music ….

And, in this New Year … I want you to know that I appreciate you in words I can’t even begin to say … it is from the place where we dance beyond words.

Olivia
1-800-601-6975

$2.50/min., 10 minute minimum, billed to your credit card.