I’m going to break from the IM chat with the man new to Femdom and phone sex and answer a question from Magnus and post an actual IM chat I had with My guy.

Here’s the question

Magnus wants to know:  Do You decide when You are “on”?   i.e.  With your real life D/s relationship, do you put the Domme aside or is it always there?   I ask because I know some people talk about being 24/7 whether live in or not.

Mistress versus bitch

We have all met certain women who are just plain disagreeable.  When a female is behaving badly (not in a good ‘bad’ way) she is usually called a bitch.  You can see from the previous (and upcoming IM chats) that I am NOT a bitch.  I want to make sure that you get the best phone sex call of your life and that means having conversations about exactly what turns you on and what doesn’t.  We can have the conversation at the beginning of the call or you can catch Me between calls on IM (if you don’t mind the delays in My response – I don’t IM during a session).   Even if you know exactly what you want for the scene, I’ll still ask a couple questions to make sure we’re on the same page.

Being bitchy is lousy customer service!

BEFORE your session I will be a generous professional.  I will work with you to identify your needs and desires.  You’ve seen that here (and you’ll see it in the upcoming posts).  I know for a fact that just because someone calls for a cuckold fantasy that doesn’t always mean they want to suck cock.  Just because someone calls via a profile on sissy school that doesn’t mean they want full feminization or coerced into bi sexual or gay scenes.  There are all sorts of ways to do cock control.  You get the point.

When I’m the Domme in My phone sex life

I am a strong woman who knows My needs, limits, mind, etc.  I manage Myself, My Moods and My career.  Therefore I am a professional here and understand the distinction between being a Dominant (or scene Bitch) during a scene versus being a bitch about your customer service questions and issues.  I’m the Femdom in a scene …. an expert professional everywhere else.

When I’m the Domme in My private life

Magnus asked about My real life relationship.  I’m exactly the same in My real life as I am here.  I’m appropriate to the situation.  I have a great guy in My life.  We’re a semi-normal couple (LOL) in most respects AND we have a varied sex life.  I’m usually the Domme for fetish scenes although since I’m a switch I might be topped by another player.  I’m his Mistress in scene play.  Otherwise we are equal.  I couldn’t do any version of 24/7 ‘tell him what to do’.  BLEH!  And, yes Magnus, we also cuddle (a lot!) and even have (gasp!) really sweet vanilla sex.  For us, the kink provides a healthy dose of fun, fetish and naughtiness that we both enjoy.

Since I’ve been doing IM conversations recently….I’ll show you how we actually talk with one another.  I sent him an IM to ask about the poll I posted on our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire.  Like always, I asked his permission, changed his ID and took out the identifiers.  Enjoy!  And, I’m really curious about your reaction to this peek behind the scenes.  (He reads the blog and your comments, he just doesn’t post.  LOL  He did mention that he’s shy.)

Ms Olivia:
can I ask you a sex question?
are you in a sex mindset?

My guy
I can be put there… lol
ask away

Ms Olivia
~laughs~
you’re the BEST baby !
So, tell me about the source of your interest in Femdom?

My guy
like what made me curious?

Ms Olivia
Yes……what happened that made you interested in Femdom.
Where did you find it?

My guy
hmmmm…. good question

Ms Olivia
how did you find it?
did you always know you wanted a woman in charge?
did you stumble across it and go wooooooo?
was it after you GOT interested in other fetish things?

My guy
well, being shy in general I do like it when a woman takes charge

Ms Olivia
*nods*

My guy
but I really enjoy watching BDSM, even when the man is the top and the woman submissive
I just can’t do it (be the man on top) though
but I think at one point I wound up with a couple “regular” porn tapes that had some S & M undercurrent to it and really liked it and just kept investigating more because it fascinated me which led to online searches, and kinkier and kinkier stuff. I’m trying to think if there was any one thing specifically that made me want to be dominated.

Ms Olivia
*nods*

My guy
now that i think about it I started getting porn magazines from the time I could find
a store that didn’t ID me when I was (young) and always liked the harder, kinkier stuff like Hustler over Playboy

Ms Olivia
LOL

My guy
and there was one fetish magazine I discovered in my early 20s that I loved…. wish I could remember what it was called.  I just thought of something really weird if you want to hear it

Ms Olivia
Sure, yes !
I’m trying to think of names of fetish mags.
LOL

My guy
I just remembered that when I was a little kid there was a Tom Thumb movie, and towards the end someone was about to get whipped, and even then that fascinated me

Ms Olivia
LOL
that’s so great !

My guy
that might be the only scene in the movie I remember.   I bet if you find a synopsis of the movie it’ll mention the whipping scene

Ms Olivia
Can I use your comments in my blog?

My guy
absolutely

Ms Olivia
you’re the BESTEST !

My guy
*smile*

My guy
wish I could remember that weird magazine I liked though

My guy
(movie synopsis link)
knew it… LOL

Ms Olivia
is that the SCENE?

My guy
no…. just the synopsis of the movie.  Kind of hard to read because it’s all one big paragraph…. but towards the bottom says Jonathan and Anna are sentenced to a public whipping in town square I knew I remembered that.  I remember a couple lashes before they were saved, but not sure I was like (young) when I saw it.

Ms Olivia

Tom Thumb?  LOL You really should have a Giantess fetish!

My guy
LOL  I also always liked the episode of the Flintstones where Wilma and Betty wanted to join Fred and Barney’s Buffalo Lodge, so dressed as men to try, and wound up being hazed during the initiation, including being paddled LOL

Ms Olivia
ohhhhhhhh

My guy
LOL…. I just googled that…. it’s on a bunch of spanking websites

Ms Olivia
oh that’s funny !
and kinky!

My guy

http://americanspankingsociety.com/?p=10901

Ms Olivia
I’m going to look at that after I finish this next blog post.

My guy
LOL
making me remember all my repressed childhood fantasies

Ms Olivia
good

My guy
I’m going to (go do stuff)
love you

Ms Olivia
I’m sorry for the delay — I got tied up with blog posts.

My guy
no problem

Ms Olivia
HUGS YOU BABY
Hey, wait!  Did you jack to our conversation?
I DO always love to hear about jacking…..from you….not just others!

My guy
actually not this time…. I just don’t find Betty Rubble as attractive as I did when I was (young)… and don’t remember what Tom Thumb’s mother looked like.  LOL  got distracted looking at (other non porn) stuff

Ms Olivia
LOL
you’re funny.
got a text session…..hugs sweetie!

My guy
and funny looking
have fun

So, that’s a peek inside My life.  Thanks magnus for the question.  As always…..post your comments and questions and let the conversation begin!

Ms Olivia