Ms Olivia 1-800-601-6975

Where does your erotic fetish start?

Some people are adventurous and come to fetish sex by being open to erotic adventures.  Others, have the seeds of their fetish fantasies planted years ago by some seminal (pun intended) event or person.

I’ll be away for a couple days this week during the times I’m normally here for you.  I will be here today though (*wink*) if you’d like to call right away.  Here’s My schedule for you to plan your call.  If you can’t catch Me today, I wanted to leave you with something to think about.

What is a fetish?

A fetish is *something* that has power over you.  For example, it can be an object that has *supernatural powers*.  I’ve done numerous blog posts about the power of panties.  Realistically, it’s just bits of lacy fabric and elastic, but they are so alluring to you there’s a real sense of amazing powers of sexy panties.

Where does a sex fetish start?

I’m always curious about your erotic life.  What you think about, why you think about that thing and not something else, etc.  As the Experienced Mistress, I know that knowledge is power.  Any cock control Mistress can tell you that!  I use what you tell Me to create the most amazing phone sex experience for you.  Your session is so great that your phone sex fun is guaranteed!

Where his sexy panties fetish began

I’m always thrilled when you let Me post your comments!  Here’s one example from our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire.

Panteezd says: “As a young man I was teased by a very sexy blonde (like you!) who wore her skirts a little shorter than perhaps was going to stop the boys from looking, or at least trying to look up her skirt.
She purposely would reveal her panties to me making me extremely excited and then would point out my enormous erection when she discretely had the opportunity (not in front of others).
She did this many afternoons and it seems to have left me with an enormous desire to be teased even though I’ve never had any problem meeting woman and having mutually pleasurable relationships.
I still crave that erotic teasing power she had over me and denial and teasing gives me sooo much pleasure more so than straight sex.”

Thank you panteezd for your comments!  Now, I’d like to hear from you!  Where and how did your kinky sex fantasies start?  ((Please just say ‘younger years’ instead of naming the age.))  As always, please post your comments, questions and anything else you’d like to say.  I’ll approve and respond to your comments!  I always learn and get inspired from YOU — so, happy typing

Ms Olivia

Current schedule —— Making sure you can get a session with Me.

Ms Olivia 1-800-601-6975

I get a lot of questions about a variety of topics.  The current batch of questions seems to center on what is *normal* in terms of sexual arousal or erotic fantasies.  Do you or have you ever wondered where your sex fantasy falls on the scale of vanilla to so called extreme fetish sex?

Do you wonder how your sex fantasy compares with the sex fantasies of other men?  In short, what is ‘normal’ for male arousal in general or more specifically on phone sex?

There are several issues here, the first being YOUR personal comfort level with who you are and what your sexual desires entail.  I did a poll on our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire, asking members if they’d ever wondered/worried about what they find sexually arousing.  The “normal sex fantasy” poll shows 2/3rds of the respondents saying, yes they’re comfortable.  About 1/3 express some level of concern.

How to talk about the sex you want

I’ve done other blog posts about the issues around handling your sex secrets.    Concern about how a partner perceives you is part of the *dating dance* as Paul points out:

“First, I think everyone has their own thoughts of what is “normal”. After all what may be “normal” for one, may not be for someone else, and there is nothing wrong with that at all.  The other part of that is one would have to feel comfortable with someone in order to truely share their fantasy. On some level, I would think that everyone at one point or another worries if their “normal” fantasies are “outside the norm”. I know I have.”

I have too, Paul!  Now, let’s add on if you have an erotic fantasy that you know is outside your perception of the norm.  I think the fantasy of a man who wants to be coerced into sucking cock or a man ‘made’ to eat his own cum are two great examples.  Remember that the norm will change depending on the group.  What I perceive to be the norm in My quilting group will be very different from what I perceive to be the norm in My real life fetish group.

Lessons from phone sex

What phone sex has taught Me is to NOT assume something based on appearances.  Believe Me, most people have sex needs that are very different from how they present to the world.  This is especially true for male submissives who crave the ‘vacation release’ of the occasional submission to Mistress fantasy.

Therefore, I’ve learned not to judge a book by the cover!  What do I know?  The quilters might be into fetish needle play!  ~laughs~  And I know that at least one member of My fetish group is very shy about overt sex acts like blow jobs and any kind of penetration.  So remember, what you *think* someone is into might be VERY different from the reality of that individual’s private sex urges and desires.

This was inspired by this question:

Is it unusual for a man to want his girlfriend to use a strapon on him? …… ((his question and comment continues and we’ll get to that in another post *wink*)).

Let’s talk about this and other kinky fantasies next.  I’ll answer your questions and his question in the coming posts.  What are your thoughts/questions/comments so far?   As always, I look forward to the conversation with YOU!

Ms Olivia

NEW IM:  EnchantrixOlivia

Talk with Olivia at 1-800-601-6975

This is the continuation of the IM chat with the young man who came to Me via My profile on sissy school and suck patrol.  He’s new to phone sex and new to Femdom.

Careful questioning has shown that he is actually NOT interested in sissy crossdressing or sucking cock so it’s good that he’s having this conversation with the Experienced Mistress!  I am helping him to clarify what he is looking for in a phone sex session.

In this section of the IM Chat, I talk with him to find out more about what he is actually looking for in Female Domination and how to identify his specific sexual triggers from his current fetish sex fantasy.  Since he is new to Femdom he’s seen lots of images and knows some of the terminology but he doesn’t yet know how these things apply to his specific fetish fantasies.  Remember, YOU are unique and your erotic desires are unique even when they fall into a general category like Female Domination.

Caught and spanked

empress.olivia:  In your fantasy, when She paddles you….. what does She say?

New Guy: Well in my thinking when i masturbate there its not much talking.

empress.olivia:  LOL  *nods*
empress.olivia: What is Her expression…..facial expression, etc?
empress.olivia: Is it a HARD paddling…..sensual…….
empress.olivia: back and forth.

New Guy: Like she is upset

empress.olivia: What position are you in?
empress.olivia: Does She bend you over her knee?  This is OTK (over the knee) spanking.

New Guy: no im on all fours (hands and knees)

empress.olivia: are you tied up or bound in any way?

New Guy: sometimes im tied

empress.olivia: *nods*
empress.olivia: So, She is mad you’ve poked around in Her panty drawer.
empress.olivia: She makes you strip (if you aren’t already)
empress.olivia: She orders you to put ON a pair of panties and get on all fours so She can punish you.
empress.olivia: Is that right?

New Guy: Well it could have happend that she force me to wear panties

empress.olivia: *nods*

New Guy: But it can be that i have done anything she didnt like
New Guy: like forget to call her Mistress.

The fantasy begins to take shape

empress.olivia: And could one of those reasons be that you aren’t pleasing Her sexually?
empress.olivia: And She decides that your *relationship* will change?
empress.olivia: For example……how do you feel when I say,
empress.olivia: “you’re obviously not a real man, so you’re going to be My panty boy.
empress.olivia: Does that make you hard?

New Guy: yes

empress.olivia: What about this, “Your dick is too small.  I’m tired of this and I’m going to make you sorry for being such a loser.”

New Guy: just a small effect

empress.olivia: Is it the word loser?
empress.olivia: Or is it the sph (small penis humiliation) ?

New Guy: I think none of these have a big trigger
New Guy: just very little

empress.olivia: There’s no right or wrong answer.  What I’m doing is asking you questions to begin to tell you what to ask for in your first phone sex session.  So YOU know and can actually say what you want.
empress.olivia: You are doing GREAT !!!!!!!!!!!

New Guy: I understand Empress Olivia
New Guy: Thank you Empress Olivia

empress.olivia: Thank you so much for your patience and being such a great sport about the coaching I’m giving you.

Wants his real life girlfriend to be a Femdom

New Guy: I have thought about my girlfriend this way that she one day takes command and our relationship becomes a femdom relationship

empress.olivia: that’s the fantasy of most men!
empress.olivia: And, it might happen…….but probably not.

New Guy: Yes i know it probably won’t Empress Olivia

empress.olivia: At least probably not to the level you’d like. One of the reasons is that she doesn’t have the experience that a Mistress does.  So, she can’t *translate* your desires into reality.

Why the Experienced Mistress is different

empress.olivia: I’m the Experienced Mistress so I can ask you things and pin down things and then deliver what you didn’t even know you wanted.
empress.olivia: Or, what you sense you want but can’t even describe.
empress.olivia: Does that make sense?

New Guy: Yes it does Empress Olivia feels like you already have put out things i didnt know myself

empress.olivia: *nods*
empress.olivia: VERY common as I start to ask questions.

Why the Experienced Mistress asks all these questions

empress.olivia: That’s why I always ask questions at the start of a session.
empress.olivia: This is traditional BDsm play of setting the fetish scene.
empress.olivia: It’s to make sure that I, as the Domme, have an understanding of what you, the submissive male, wants and finds erotically arousing.
empress.olivia: It’s also to set limits.  For example, if being yelled at and called a looser is NOT a turn on ….. which it’s not for you …. then in the middle of a scene is NOT the time to find that out!
empress.olivia: LOL

New Guy: I live by the philosophy to try everything once, i found out about femdom and i have  understod much of it is triggering me

empress.olivia: *nods*
empress.olivia: AND, just like with crossdressing there are many variations and styles of play.
empress.olivia: NOT all Femdom is alike.
empress.olivia: And, one of the things is to find the person that you *click with* for erotic play.

Now, his fetish fantasy is taking shape.  This is important for Me as a Mistress to know what you want.  It’s also important for you to know what you want and then be able to articulate that to Me.  I’m coaching him in how to identify and then communicate what he wants to any Femdom.

The danger in lack of communication between a submissive and a Mistress is that She can deliver the fantasy that She thinks you want but if you don’t know what you want or can’t tell Her then you may or may not get what you want to experience.  Not knowing what you want and then being irked about not getting it is like going to the airport but not saying where you want your ticket to take you … and then being irritated that you didn’t get to a particular destination.  I am very intuitive but not a mind reader.  The danger of not knowing what you want and/or not being able to communicate it to a Mistress is that you begin to assume She can’t deliver what you want and then mess up any chance of Her experienced and experimental play to find out what you DO want.  This is not good for either of you.

Sooooo …. as always.  Questions?  Comments?  I’ll respond to every comment and I love hearing from you!  I do have a specific question …. how easy is it for you to communicate what you want to a Mistress?

Ms Olivia