Ms Olivia 1-800-601-6975

What is phone sex Femdom and what does it mean to have a Mistress in control?

You might have a curiosity about Femdom and cock control.  You might have stumbled across some Dominatrix porn that caught you attention.  You might even know that you do like a woman to be the one who is sexually in charge.  Any of these things might apply to you.  Or, you might be a seasoned submissive but new to submission during a phone sex session.

You might also be *across the pond* from Me and wonder how an American Mistress can possibly control your cock from so far away.  There are two answers to that question.  One is the simple answer of technology and all the ways for International Phone Sex Callers to connect with a Mistress.  This is just the details of the technology.  The real answer is in the techniques of the mind and body.

Power Exchange – Dominance and submission

The dance of Power Exchange is THE experience.  The *types* of submission and the various ways you submit are tools of your submission.  There are so many various ways to do this.  Take a look at some of the essays on male submission and see if you can find yourself there.  *nods*  Some or all of the writing causes that, now familiar and yet still new, ZING of desire, doesn’t it?  *nods* I thought so.

When you are new to this from of erotic play, don’t be shy.  I take you where are you and explore with you.  I am an Experienced Mistress and can understand where you are and then guide you.  In THIS dance, I lead you follow — and we both create together what tune we’ll be listening to for the dance!  Being the dance with Me when you listen to this erotic audio about Desire.

Ms Olivia

Olivia 1-800-601-6975

There are so many terms used in BDsm that it can like a foreign country.  In a way it is … we do go to fantasy land and have a wonderful, kinky vacation! We have created a really great Library of Kink essays if you’d like to take a look.

Let’s talk about some of the terms of BDsm.  I identify as a switch.  That means I’m comfortable in various roles in fetish and kink play.  The “position” I’m in (in real life or on a call) depends on what is agreed during our conversations about the fetish scene play.  I’m going to primarily talk about these definitions in terms of phone sex, since we’re not going to meet in person.

Communication is key to ANY good relationship

Phone sex is similar to real life fetish play in that we both have a conversation about needs, desires and limits.  A good Domme always asks her submissive what he or she is interesting in doing.  What makes phone sex different is this:   although I am the Dominant Mistress, part of My role here is to give you what you want and what you pay for in the call.  I don’t consider this topping from the bottom, although each Mistress is different in her style.  Ms Violet has an excellent essay on topping from the bottom and communication with your Mistress.  The bottom line is that you can’t be ‘at My mercy’ if I don’t know what makes you tick.

My various roles in Power Exchange scenes

Dominant: I love being the Femdom who gets into your head (and more) with a creative erotic scenario that whips you all around the roller coaster of submissive emotions!  The give and take of the Power Exchange is a rush for both of us.  Sometimes it’s totally in the realm of sexual roleplay and sometimes there’s a blending of real life cock control or wicked erotic humiliation assignments.  I can give you a wicked mindfuck or be the sensual Domme who torments you as you beg for release.  In all of these scenarios there is the element of power exchange between the Dominant (Me) and the one who submits (you).

Switch: I am a switch and that means I will also be the submissive on the call.  Note!  Not every Mistress will do this!  Be sure to check with her first.  I do have more limits in terms of what kinds of Domination I ‘will’ submit to, so that’s always an important conversation to have if you’re interested in that.

Top / bottom: This is where the power between the two of us is basically equal but one person is designated as the ‘leader’ (Top) and the other is the follower (bottom) in a specific scene.

What are YOU?  How do you describe yourself?

Ms Olivia

Olivia 1-800-601-6975

I enjoy getting to know you!  I love your comments on My blog and I always respond to each comment.  When I’m logged in I’m available for IM conversations.  (NOTE:  I don’t IM while I’m in a session).

I write a lot about the importance of communication in any relationship and phone sex is no exception.  Here is an IM conversation I had with a man new to phone sex and new to the joys of tease and denial.  I’m including it in it’s entirety (posted with his permission).  Bold headers are My addition.

New YIM window pops up with a friend request

New Guy: Thanks Olivia xx

empress.olivia:  Hi there!

New Guy: Hey how are you?

empress.olivia: I’m great and you?

New Guy: Hmmm….frustrated, lol
New Guy: Found the site yesterday and need to decide on the right Mistress for me.

empress.olivia: Welcome !

He’s new to tease and denial

New Guy: Never heard of self denial before then.

empress.olivia: OH !  Is that why you’re frustrated?  ~giggle~

New Guy: In a good way though
New Guy: i enjoy erotic literature and found a story on tease and denial which eventually led me here
New Guy: So I have been ‘practising’ since yesterday.

empress.olivia: That’s great!  WE are the experts.  Or, I should say … sexperts!  LOL

New Guy: I can see that
New Guy: So much content on the site
New Guy: and all the girls are so beautiful

empress.olivia: Have you seen My blog?  You can hear My voice on the audios page.

New Guy: I am looking at it right now

empress.olivia: fantastic !

New Guy: Yes it is!
New Guy: May I be a naughty little boy and ask what age you are?

empress.olivia: sure!  I’m 42.  Did you listen to my voice?

New Guy: wow….I do like a slightly more mature lady
New Guy: I did…you sound lovely

empress.olivia: Thank you!

New Guy: You are most welcome

He’s a new caller and wants to know how long to talk

New Guy: How long would you recommend for a first time caller?

empress.olivia: I actually did a couple of blog posts about first time callers and also choosing the right Mistress.

New Guy: Oh…should be an interesting read

empress.olivia: But, I can talk with you here about it if you like.

New Guy: I would like that

empress.olivia: I know a lot of people have similar questions/issues.  Can I take your IM name off and use this conversation on My blog?

New Guy: Of course

empress.olivia: Thank you!  And, I’m VERY VERY VERY protective if your privacy so if there’s a question you don’t want me to post, just say the word and I’ll take that out.

New Guy: I’m not shy

empress.olivia: ~~ laughs ~~~
empress.olivia: GOOD !
empress.olivia: So, what questions do you have?

How long should a first session be?

New Guy: Well firstly I am very new to cock control and would like to know how long a ‘break in’ session should last.

empress.olivia: One thing to tell you quickly is that I’ve been away for several days……..and the phone is likely to light up.   You’ve got me until it does……I don’t IM when I’m in a session.  But, I’ll come back to IM after the session until the next session.

New Guy: No worries….I will need to leave in a short while too

empress.olivia:  Great, thanks!  Okay, first session……it totally depends on you.  Have you done phone sex before?

New Guy: Sadly not

He’s also new to phone sex in general

empress.olivia:  Oh!  You’re in for a new treat.  It’s AMAZING !

New Guy: it sounds like it is amazing

empress.olivia: Yes! Phone sex is masturbation with a kick!  After all, you’re on the phone with the Experienced Mistress……. it can’t be anything BUT amazing ! LOL  The first call can be anything from 10 minutes (the minimum)  to hours…… we can talk about anything !

What to do before the first call

New Guy: Should I ‘practice’ alone before making a tease and denial call?

empress.olivia: hmmmmmm … that’s an option……..and, again, it’s totally up to you.  For many men….the thrill of tease and denial is, in part, DOING the denial and the stroking FOR someone.  And, in this case the someone is the Mistress.

New Guy: The Mistress having control of when is a thrilling thought

empress.olivia: PLUS, you have the Mistress with you…….guiding you…….telling you what to do and when.  It’s like a personal trainer at the gym.  LOL  The trainer knows more and can GET more from you than you think you can do.

New Guy: I want to come to your gym!

empress.olivia: You TOTALLY do…..LOL…….My personal trainer is smokin’ hot !

What about erotic roleplay?

New Guy: What about roleplaying? What sort of roles do you perform for a tease and denial session?

empress.olivia: Roleplay scenes again will totally depend on you. All aspects of Power Exchange are so sexually charged.  Power Exchange is where one person is “more powerful” than the other.  It can be a kind of bait and swtich…..like you’re my boss but then I turn the tables on you and become the boss of your orgasms and therefore YOU.  You can apply the same concept to anyone in a situation where one inherently has more ‘authority’ over the other.

What is off limits?

New Guy:  Is there anything that you will NOT perform?

empress.olivia: Really anything goes in roleplay.  What I don’t do are the things that We at LDW, don’t do.   Did you have something specific that you’re asking about?

New Guy: Not really…just curiosity
New Guy: all new to me

empress.olivia: I don’t get the sense that you’ll need to worry about those limits.  Sometimes a tease and denial session can start off with guided masturbation.  That’s where I tell you how to stroke.  What to do…..how to do it.

New Guy: That is something I have enjoyed, however not a 1-2-1 basis, I have looked at videos

empress.olivia: That’s great!  Sometimes a caller knows exactly what he wants.  Sometimes, like you, he is new. Maybe new to LDW or new to phone sex in general.  The exploration is half the fun, isn’t it?  This is like you’ve just now wandered into the hottest new restaurant and I’m explaining the specials on the menu!

New Guy: I have to tell you the thought alone is very arousing

empress.olivia: *nods* oh YES !  By the way, I’m not getting explicit here because I don’t have age verification for you.

New Guy: I understand

empress.olivia:  Thank you for understanding!

What goes on during the session?

empress.olivia:  Everything can and does get very explicit during a session.  One interesting thing is that someone might call for a ‘sex call’ but then end up asking about all sorts of questions about sex/sexuality/relationship issues.  Sometimes we end up talking and connecting about all sorts of non-sexual things.  No matter the topic, this is one of the rare places where you will be fully HEARD.  You have My undivded attention in a session.

New Guy: So many avenues to explore!

empress.olivia: *nods*

Finding the right Mistress

New Guy: and I am enjoying trying to find the right Mistress and trying to decide exactly what I want

empress.olivia: PERFECT !  Now, My suggestion is don’t worry too too much about finding the PERFECT MISTRESS right away….. or on the first call…… or even STAYING with only one Mistress.  We have an unconditional quality guarantee.  There’s a 10 minute minimum for all calls, but if you know in the first couple of minutes that you’re not *clicking* with the Lady, don’t be shy, simply say, ‘thank you for your time, please send me back to the dispatcher.’  This will NOT offend us.  We want you HAPPY!  The Mistress will hang up and you’ll automatically go back to dispatch.  You won’t be charged for that call and dispatch will work with you to get you a better fit. That’s where this is unlike DATING …. LOL … you don’t have to worry about getting away from someone you don’t like AND all this comes with the LDW quality guarantee.  Does that make sense?

New Guy: I read the quality guarantee and it makes perfect sense.

empress.olivia: FANTASTIC !  Even if you find a Mistress that you adore….I, for one, always encourage a variety of experiences !  I even recommend Mistresses. For example I don’t work late nights and I have women that I recommend depending on what you want.

New Guy: Right now I just cannot wait for my first!

How to talk about tease and denial with your Mistress

empress.olivia: LOL, I understand!  Wanted to give you a heads up about tease and denial.  Be sure to tell the Mistress if you want to cum at the end of the session.  If you tell her you want to be denied She WILL, no matter how much you beg!  If you leave your orgasm up to the Mistress, you might get to cum but then again, you might not!   ALWAYS make sure to talk with your Mistress about what you want.  Are you at work now?

New Guy: I am at home but need to head to work soon
New Guy: So I will still be in ‘denial’ for a while
New Guy: I have read quite extensively on the site… I have been edging since last night!

empress.olivia: I bet you work HARD today!  LOL

New Guy: I hope I don’t get aroused at work!
New Guy: My biggest fear is all the tension thats been building gives me a constant erection!

empress.olivia: *wink*  Sometimes fear is FUN !  It’s tapping into the whole roller coaster of emotions thing.

New Guy: I kind of would like to hold it unitl I make my first call
New Guy: It does seem a much more exhilarating experience than just having a quick wank

empress.olivia: It IS a totally *different* experience because you’ve been doing the wank for years, right?  LOL

New Guy: Yes

empress.olivia: So this adds something totally NEW and exciting

New Guy: So difficult though!

empress.olivia: Isn’t the newness and the difficulty half the FUN !?

New Guy: It really is!

empress.olivia: Let Me also mention that we have ‘Cocksperts” on the Live Help Desk. I answer IMs and many of the Ladies answer IMs between calls.    BUT, but if you’re trying to IM with a Mistress and She doesnt answer then you can go to the live help desk @ www.helpmycock.com for immediate ….. ahem …. assistance!

New Guy: It’s such a well run site

empress.olivia: *Nods*  Oh yes.  We’re a well-oiled ‘machine’  LOL …. we love the lube!  ~laughs~

empress.olivia: I’m getting a call…..so I’m going to let you go. Glad you stopped in!  Have fun on My blog.  There are LOTS of ideas, etc.

New Guy: So am I…need to go get some ice on it before work now!

Later

New Guy: Hello again You being kept busy?

empress.olivia: LOL always but I’m not on the phone right now.

New Guy: OK…Hate to interupt xx

empress.olivia: THANK YOU btw, for being understanding that I don’t IM while I’m on the phone or in a texting session.  I appreciate your patience.  I always check IMs when I’m out of the session.  Don’t worry about interrupting; when I’m in a session I don’t respond.  You can always send an IM and I’ll answer asap.  I really like IM conversations.  Did you have more questions?

New Guy: Sorry, I logged off as I am in work…..No more questions yet xx

empress.olivia: no problem !

New Guy: Goodnight you stunning lady….and a million thanks for taking some time to talk to me today xx

empress.olivia: Sure thing!  My pleasure!  I’m glad you wrote and have FUN exploring the erotic world of phone sex!

The recent conversation here about masturbation really got Me worked up.  I revisited the poll on our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire, to get your special requests for hot erotic audios from this Experienced Mistress.

In the coming (so to speak) days, I’ll be posting sexy audios for all the categories listed in the Audio Ideas poll and/or from comments.   I love your comments and the conversations we have with the comments and replies.  THANK YOU!

Power exchange is a popular topic and this sort of Dominant/submissive play can have all sorts of variations.  One in five people voting said they wanted power exchange and that number goes up when adding all the kinds of kinky scenes we can do.  For example, the office is a wonderful setting for hot scenarios. And it’s the setting for this free erotic audio. This audio goes out with nods to bigal, castaway, and tommie … and the others who asked for power exchange audios but didn’t leave a comment. *wink*

Power exchange is the common theme in most phone sex scenes where the caller is the submissive to the FemDom. The image of a powerful woman feminizing a man is very hot. And, one of the most popular forms of the feminization fantasy is where the man is humiliated for not being a man, turned into a sissy and then further turned into a cuckold. I love to do erotic audios of the drama of the hubby, sissy, cucky LOL

Like what you hear? Want to hear more? Got a question, idea or comment. This blogger encourages participation and wants your comments.
Ms Olivia

How is it possible that I can feel you in my blood, the very cells of my body? Sometimes a caller can really ‘get’ to me. I know that we’re distant …. Linked by the soft voices on the phone …. But you get under my skin, twining inside my senses…curious, urgent, passionate…exploring. I find out things about myself that I didn’t know; desires in me I didn’t know that I didn’t know.

Power Exchange

Such is the case with my current exploration of Power with a very interesting caller …. We are both in the visceral inquiry of Domination and submission. If you’ve been reading my blog, you might have noticed that I write a lot about Power Exchange and the “interesting” sensual phone sex experiences available when we engage in Power Exchange. This particular exploration is most assuredly beyond the ‘norm’ of where we started with a more ‘expected’ session involving cock control.

Delicious Deisre

Of course, I want to get under your….ummmm…skin. It is the deliciousness of desire. And, sometimes, you get inside me. It is delightful to experience what you tell me about how I get under your skin. This is what I want to bring to your life … the fulfillment of (perhaps) forbidden fantasies … exploration of your sensual boundaries …. The intense release of pent up sexual energy. I think of myself as a facilitator of sorts. Maybe it’s a type of therapy…lol…therapy with a ‘happy’ ending!

Intimacy

And, as that facilitator, the intimate moments we share are, of course, about you. Still sometimes it does become about me. And, I (also) ride the wave of erotic energy and then tip over, falling into my own orgasm listening to you as we both experience sensual masturbation sessions. You …. Stroking for me … Me, touching myself with you. Delicious. Delightful. Thank you!

Olivia