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Does a strapon or cock sucking fantasy mean you’re gay?

Olivia 1-800-601-6975

This post was inspired by a man who initially wrote a question asking if I thought it was *normal* that he has a fantasy about his girlfriend taking him with a strapon.

What if … what if I can read your mind and I somehow *know* that it’s now time for you to explore more.  And …. then I turn around…..jutting out in front of those sexy black leather short shorts …. is …..a STRAPON!

Want to hear a hint of what I can do with a strapon?  ((Careful, that’s an erotic audio link.))

So, I think that might *handle* the strapon question.  I love strapon play!  Now, let’s take a look at the rest of his comment and the questions there.

The REST of his comment and new questions show other concerns:

“Okay, I’m a straight guy and have no feelings of sexual attraction to other men…I’m not gay or bi… I’m very successful in my career; I have normal relations with females and I’m always the dominant part to the point they told me they enjoy sex with me. I have a fantasy of having a woman use a strapon to take me from behind….. I’m mostly concerned about how my girlfriend would react? I have introduced this idea before to my ex and she was in shock and left me. Is this Normal? Do you think it’s strange for men to fantasize about this?”

Most men are VERY SHY about disclosing their real sexual issues and fantasies for just that reason … they’re afraid of the reaction of their partner.  I did several blog posts about sex secrets and how men want to talk to a real life partner about erotic desires.  Be sure to look in the comments section, that’s where real men talk about real sex concerns, needs and issues.

One of the most common desires I hear about is the fascination with cock.

Cock sucking is only slightly more popular then anal play (strapon or a male partner). Since I have a handy poll to back up My comments, I’m going to talk about the desire for a man (straight, bi or femme) to suck cock.  A VAST number of men who call for phone sex want to talk about that!  Ms Lauren did a poll on our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire about sucking cock and it is the most popular poll!  The “Cock sucking: Yes, No, Maybe” poll shows many more men, cross dressers, and sissies WANT that sexual experience than have actually done it.

1 in 5 of the respondents say they WANT to suck cock but haven’t done it.  Even in the sexually tolerant and extra kinky community of the Empire, I was surprised at the number of anonymous comments.  People are shy about admitting they find the male organ fascinating!   30 % of those responding said they have sucked a cock and loved it!  That’s over half the Empire that will admit to a direct desire to suck suck.

Another 35% said they would suck cock if the situation was right.  For example, if it was part of a Femdom cock teasing session where Mistress orders the dick worship to take place.

I moved away from the original question about strapons because, in My experience, a strapon question often masks the unspoken desire for the actual male penis.  The man that wrote this originally couched all this in terms of, did I think he was *normal* for wanting what he wanted sexually.

After several blogs and much writing …is he *normal* and is he *gay*?

I’m not going to digress and explain why I consider gay, bi sexual or straight *normal* in context of erotic desires.  That’s another long blog. ~laughs~  Let Me just say directly, your erotic desires are NORMAL.  You are just fine exactly the way you are.  There is nothing to change or fix about you.  An erotic desire don’t *mean* anything …. it might mean that you’re straight, gay or bi.  Does that matter?  The labels are only a way to communicate who you are if you want to communicate via label.

There are realistic issues to consider when taking a cock sucking fantasy to real life but that is what *conscious* people do in their lives…..we weigh desires, actions and consequences.  I would be remiss if I didn’t say something about health but I’m not going to kill your hard-on in this post.  I’ll discuss health issues and cock sucking in another post.

NOW ….. if you have an erotic humiliation fantasy that makes you YEARN for Me to call you nasty names, I can give a wicked brand of erotic humiliation calling you all sorts of horrible things as part of the scene.  Then, after the scene I’ll make sure that you know I think you’re FINE, just the way you are.  If you lost the girl because you told her your sexual fantasy, then you’re probably better off without her in the long run. Sexual desires don’t go away and most of My phone sex callers are married men who don’t get what they yearn for at home.

Ms Olivia

22 comments to Does a strapon or cock sucking fantasy mean you’re gay?

  • pantysissyray

    I was dating I girl once and we where both into the panty and garter belt thing I loved it .but when she walked into the room with a strap on. On I had no problem sucking her off, all I can say is oh my god I came like you would not believe it is great..but I recomend you dress in some sexy sheer pantys etc and play with your self first..then go down on her it will turn you on like you won’t ever forget….

    • olivia

      Hi there pantysissyray…..thank you for joining the conversation here on the Experienced Mistress blog section! I totally agree with you in that the more the man is aroused the easier it is to get him to *stretch* his …. ahem…..mind! With phone sex this is critical …. and, as you’ve said, equally important in real life! I’m THRILLED that you like strapon play….it’s totally hot and I love it too 🙂

  • Matty0507

    I don’t think strap-on play or wanting to suck a cock makes you gay. I have always loved women and always loved pleasing them. And if pleasing them means playing with the strap-on or the real thing, why wouldn’t you want to explore this with your girlfriend? Sharing an evening with a woman and her toys…that’s an unbeatable combination

    • olivia

      ahhhhhhhh Matty! YES ! Like you, I’m not a big fan of labels that diminish opportunities to explore that which might feel really GOOD ! I’m with you….why not try it? If it’s something you don’t want to continue, then that’s okay too … but, how do you know ALL of what works in real life or on a phone sex call until you TRY IT.

      I’m so glad you’ve joined our blog comments community! You’ll be a fantastic addition here ! 🙂

  • John

    Hi Ms. O,

    Portions of our society have a very rigid and unrealistic view of the “100% Heterosexual Male” and the slightest deviation from that standard is not acceptable. No one is 100% anything and our sexuality is really points on a continuum rather than an all or nothing absolute.

    I think that leads men to feel they have to issue the ever popular “Non Gay Disclaimer” anytime they find themselves aroused by sexuality that involves other men.

    “I am not currently, nor have I ever been gay, nor is any gayness in my fantasies either expressed or implied and all resemblance to any actual gayness in strictly coincidental.”

    Very messed up, but I remember growing up as a high school jock, all the effort put forth by us to prove we were not gay. (Of course no one actually thought we were) If a bunch of guys went to the movies together we had to sit at least 1 seat apart so everyone knew we weren’t on a date because obviously “Gay Teen Football Group Dating” was very prevalent in the 80’s. Of course years later it did go on to become a popular reality show on Bravo TV.

    Always hopeful that we will evolve our thinking and accept the beautiful gift of human sexuality in all forms.

    BTW, looking forward to “Health Issues and Cock Sucking” Saw that filmstrip in 11th grade and it changed my life.

    • olivia

      Dear John……
      thank you so much for your comment! I’m sorry for the delay in posting and answering.

      You’re so right about the ‘pressure’ to conform to some very narrow standards of sexuality. And, the real sadness is that many people conform to something (some mode of behavior and standards that aren’t even REAL). In My experience, real men have real sex fantasies, needs and desires that don’t conform to any IMAGE. So, when someone feels like he has to shut down his desires or when he gets shut down for speaking his real needs……it’s just plain crazy! I want to bitch slap a bunch of wives and girlfriends!
      As you know, I’m a big fan of communication …. I think it’s much better to be REAL !

  • Mlaissa

    I, being a sissy crossdresser, would love to have a girlfriend use a strapon om me. I think that would make me more feminine and a real sissy. I would love to suck her strapon first and than let her use it on me. Of course I would be wearing pretty panties, a garter belt and stockings, lacy bra and a nylon nightgown. What a delight that would be.

    Huggs,

    Malissa

    • olivia

      Well of COURSE Malissa….and as the *best sissy* you’d better be dressed all cute for your Mistress cock sucking and strap on session…..of course, you always are dressed nice and femme for Me when you call for crossdressing phone sex! *wink* I show you just exactly what a true sissy you are 🙂

  • wellspanked

    I agree, fantasizing about sucking cock isn’t a yes or no to being gay or bi-sexual. And a step further from that is strap on play. I will say that in my book anyway, if a guy sucks another guys cock, it certainly is at least a bi-sexual act. But that’s all semantics.

    Fear of revealing some desires is normal. Not knowing the reaction, possibly revealing something very personal and then not getting what you return are all reasons for pause.

    One of the greatest things about LDW is the ability to explore any, ANY, fantasy without fear of rejection or judgement. And on the other extreme, explore any fantasy with enthusiasm. After trying something there you can learn if you really want to take it further.

    more details later, I have to go do something about what that photo is causing

    • olivia

      ~laughs~ Glad to help that hardon wellspanked! 🙂
      You are so right about the delicious opportunity to explore all sorts of erotic experienced with the LDW Mistresses! One of the great things about phone sex is the fact that you can be totally in an fantasy, exploring in your mind OR move things to real life at your own pace and comfort level. I’ve had callers who are cock curious but have no intention to act on (in real life) the fantasy. That’s on one end of the spectrum. On the other end of the spectrum there are those who call for practical sex health questions about doing erotic fantasies in real life. Who can you ask? This Experienced Mistress is part sex therapist, counselor, confidante, and yes (as you said) enthusiastic kinky partner.

  • magnus

    Hi MsOlivia, I am certainly confident enough to say that I think that a woman wearing a strap on is incredibly sexy. There is certainly a tremendously powerful look to such and were I lucky enough to be on the receiving end of such, well, l am sure I’d do the expected thing. 🙂 Anyway though, it in no way makes one gay. I would say that it’s difficult to argue that a strap on is meant to be an artifical cock. It’s shaped that way and extrudes from the crotch, so yeah, that’s what it is. But I way I see it is that it is attached to a woman and that makes all the difference.

    So cock sucking fantasies are a bit different, but still I am in the category that they still do not make one gay. I think to be gay one has to be attracted to men in a more romantic sense. Having a fantasy is just that. Something that can turn one on and possibly one’s partner too. I can certainly see part of the fantasy being made to suck cock, regardless of whether in real life someone could ever be forced to do so. Now if one actually is attracted to men and has a corresponding desire to suck cock, well, then they are gay already but it wasn’t any sort of fantasy that made him that way.

    • olivia

      I tend to agree with you magnus…..there is a *romance* part to attraction that is certainly an indicator of sexual orientation. And, thank you for the great point to say out loud…..NO fantasy can possibly *make* someone gay or straight! It just doesn’t *work* that way.

      I have seen and experienced enough to realize that human sexuality if incredibly complex. And what might be initially arousing might only be the spring board to the more (or most) intense erotic experience! I’ve actually had someone call for one type of phone sex and the call goes in a whole other direction … some of that is arousal level and some is his comfort level with Me.

      I agree that there’s something so naughty and taboo about a luscious woman wearing a strapon. It’s gender bending of her and the look is AMAZING. I know from wearing a strapon I *do* feel differently….not sure that it’s less feminine but it’s like there’s an extra *zing* there for Me too!

  • Adam

    Strapon play, for me anyway, is just another powerful way of letting myself be dominated by a WOMAN. Penetrative or non-penetrative sex between a man and a woman (whatever form it may take!) is heterosexual sex.

    You are missing out if you don’t try. Miss Olivia is incredibly easy to talk to, she will make you feel completely at ease, and has a cute laugh too!

    • olivia

      *giggles* Why THANK YOU Adam! I loved having the opportunity to talk with you because you give GREAT phone sex! ~laughs~ And I’m going to take My stapon to YOU again! THANK YOU for leaving a comment and welcome to our blogging community!

  • Matty0507

    Thanks Ms. Olivia for the nice comments *blushing* I remember a call with one of the lovely ladies…and it started on one subject and completely went in another direction…and god it was hot! I regret the fact that I haven’t been more open in my relationships with what I want. That is why I like this community…everyone here is really nice and doesn’t judge you and it is nice to see that there are others that are like you. And Ms. Olivia I think you could get me to do anything 😉

    • olivia

      *nods* You’re right Matty! I had a call yesterday evening that started out as the phone sex fantasy and then ended up as this wide ranging call that was just AMAZING! Oh and we STILL did the fantasy! That’s the great thing about the quality of the relationships formed here….it can go (within reason) sooooooooo many different directions — sometimes all at the same time! *wink*

  • wellspanked

    I posted this at EE, but figured I’d share my brush with teasing with Ms O’s fans….

    I got teased in a major way on the way to work today. I’m not 100% sure if it was intentional, but it certainly seemed to be. I get on the train at an early stop so there are always seats available. I took a free isle seat, pulled out my e-reader and settled in. 2 stops later the train got full and people were standing inthe isle. Next to me was a very hot women maybe in her early 30’s. She had on tight brown dress slacks, and low cut blouse. I always offer my seat to people standing regardless of who they are. Most people say no or are very grateful. I offered it to this women, she smiled and no thank you, enjoy it. The train moved on it’s always difficult to stay still while standing, the occasional bump is normal and expected. Well not today. Maybe I just noticed more because she was hot, but her ass brushed my shoulder almost non stop the entire ride. At first I thought she’s just leaning into this side to keep balance, but she would move, turn a little, turn back. It wasn’t just one hip or cheek brushing me, several times she sways so that both cheeks touched my shoulder, and then back. If she had turned around she might as well have been grinding my shoulder.

    Needless to say the bag on my lap covered what made the trip slightly uncomfortable. My cock was at full attention as if it wanted to come out and take a peek at what was going on. When the ride was over my bag stayed squarely in from of my crotch while exiting the train. I just started to ride this train this week, and you get to know who are regulars. This could become an interesting way to start off the day. I dread the day I’m standing next to her and wouldn’t be able to avoid starting at here low cut tops with her in a perfect spot to notice my frustration.

    • olivia

      ~laughs~ wellspanked…..what a DELIGHTFUL story! Thank you so much for taking your time to post that here!

      I actually use the *commuter train* as a setting for any number of phone sex fantasies. It’s perfect for the shoe and boot fetish peepers……
      tease and denial when you’ve can’t actually DO anything about it.

      I just BET she knew EXACTLY what she was doing !!! I’ll confess that most women who understand the Art of the Tease *practice* all the time! It’s almost unconscious…..even when it’s deliberate! ~laughs~ Soooo……there’s been a delay in My answer because of heading off on vacation. TELL US. Is that woman a regular on your train? *wink*

      • wellspanked

        It’s was not the train I usually take. 2 days a week I try to make an earlier train and this was one of those days. Since it’s earlier than normal I don’t have the timing down and usually run to catch it. I haven’t riden that same car yet so I have not seen her again. Most train commuters get into a habit of riding in the same car. The upside of that is when you can find someone “easy on the eyes” you usually get to see them over and over. Not that I’m a creepy stalker type :).

        • olivia

          ~laughs~ I do know what you mean! Women do the same thing we just don’t tend to *admit* it 🙂 *wink* I’m sure I’m going to use this whole scene in some phone sex eroticism because it’s HOT!

  • Crashhawk05

    I always had a sex fantasy of getting used by a women with a strap-on. Using me for their pleasure. I guess the submissive feel turns me on. Was very to shy to say that to my last gf.

    • olivia

      *nods* You’re like so many men, crashhawk! And actually, like women too. I think when people are IN a relationship, it’s difficult to be BLUNT about what you need, want or want to explore sexually. And, your comment about being shy about talking with your girlfriend is a perfect example of that! What will she say? What will she think of me if I tell her? Wellspanked has written a lot in blog comments here about talking with his wife and I continue to say, that their relationship is a RARITY! At least that is My experience. I have that with My guy (whom I’ve told you about during our phone sex sessions). But, I recognize I’m also a rare individual and working in this industry makes Me blunt about things that make other *vanilla* women won’t even talk about! It CAN be done…..and, we can talk more about that on your calls if you want to try and merge your fetish fantasy life with a face to face relationship.