When you’re here are you looking for your sex trigger? Or, are you interested in nuanced conversation? Or….maybe a combination of both!? Or maybe just a little tease and denial cock control? ~laughs~ Okay, this is a thinking post for the big head 🙂 CLICK HERE to listen to the audio of this blog post.
This blog is inspired by a blog comment that got Me thinking about whether it’s a good thing to be so honest in this blog.
Real sex issues
I write a lot of blog posts about real topics and real issues facing us. Many of My callers who want to bring the fetish fantasy into real life need to at least hear about safety considerations. Anonymous cock sucking at a glory hole is a super hot FANTASY ….. hmmmm, but it’s not such a good idea in real life! Now, you might decide to do various risky things, I know that I run risks in My own personal life. Public exposure or public humiliation has to be handled vary carefully. If you ask Me to help you do something risky I’ll want to make sure you at least engage in a little informed decision making. When I post a blog that puts the breaks on the fantasy, I often worry about being the Mistress of the Hardon Killer.
Real person behind the phone sex
So, I’m asking you. What kills your hardon or diminishes your erotic pleasure during a phone sex call? Some of you have told me that the fake ~giggle~ is a downer. Others say, when it feels like your phone sex operator is just going through the motions. I totally get that. These are absolutes in My world. I listen, I pay attention, you’re not going to get cookie cutter sessions or fake giggles with Me. BUT…..I got this in a comment and it makes Me think (and I like that!) Does knowing I’m more than just ‘one’ thing kill your desire?
Caller likes to keep the sex compartmentalized
Here’s what benner said:
“In my primary relationship, I have been the sexually dominant one. I’ve even enjoyed it and consider myself something of a switch. However, I’d love for my partner to be dominant, so I could explore that with her. My dilemma is my own fear that she’ll think less of me or that her enjoyment of my dominance will be diminished by seeing me submissive. I have that myself. If I know a dominant is a switch, then I don’t enjoy them in their role as much, even in erotic fiction. I worry I could end up undermining both experiences — me dominant, me submissive — by revealing my need for submission. That’s why I call LDW from time to time. All that said, I think this internal factor has made me a better Dom when I need to be.”
So, let Me ask you? Does it diminish your attraction to Me because you know that Mistress is a Domme, submissive, switch? Do you back away from the blogs when I talk about cock sucking safety or fetish safety issues?
Do you compartmentalize your sex and desires….or are you someone who wants the total package? There is NO wrong answer here! I’m looking for the conversation in the blog comments.
I think a certain amount of compartmentalization is essential. If only because when we are talking about fantasy it may not be able to stand up to perfect scrutiny.
Just like when reading or watching fiction, there is the suspension of disbelief factor, the same will be true of fantasy, especially the more outre or highly specific the fantasy/fetish gets.
As you mentioned, there are safety considerations, and other consequences that we typically gloss over in fantasy. And while it would be unfair to call you a “hard-on killer” at some point the fantasy will not be able to stand up to realistic scrutiny 🙂
NB thanks for posting this! And, thank you for brining up the need to suspend disbelief. Yes, that is essential for fantasy sex … but that’s also essential for many things! For example if you’ve seen a new standup struggle with a *reluctant* audience or try working a crowd that doesn’t *want* to be worked….well, whew, I can tell you it is tough going unless your audience is *with* you. That can be an audience of 1 or an audience of thousands.
I have not done very many phone sex calls so my experience is very limited. I do enjoy a more nuanced conversation than straight up phone sex. All the calls that I have done have included a great deal of this. As far as a boner killer, again not so much experience with that as well. But I do enjoy engaging conversations and whether she is a Domme, Submissive or Switch would not matter to me.
As to benners concern with finding out his current Domme is a switch could be a session ender for him, because he is a switch himself. Would this not create a rather unique dynamic between the two, where they each essentially switch back and forth during a session.
That’s a wonderful question Forrest! I’ve done calls with someone who is a fellow switch and the sex power exchange DOES switch back and forth. It takes some time to be able to do that well. We both have to really know and *get* one another. It’s the difference between doing a simple slow dance, basic waltz or two-step and doing more complicated dances like ballroom tango. BUT, when we do it, it’s AMAZING!
Like I’ve said in other posts, there can be various *levels* of phone sex. It can be as simple as sending or saying a script and doing that scene exactly. OR, it can be as nuanced and ‘real’ as you like. BTW, you’re not alone in your enjoyment of the erotic conversation. Some of the most amazing calls haven’t had anything to do with sex! And some, have the sex come in (pun intended) right at the end of the call for the climax of the call. Each and every call is different….just like each caller is different.
I like the whole package. I enjoy how well you listen and how intellegent you are. The only bummer in a session would be if during the roleplay, which obviously is different in reality may mix with reality in the conversation and blow out the fantasy candle flames a little bit. 🙂 hugs love you
~smiles~ I like the whole package too princess! Oh and the only reason why any talk of *reality* would need to come into a session is if it’s a serious conversation about doing the fantasy scene in real life. Obviously, since I’m only with you on the phone (and I don’t meet you in real life) I want to make sure that you are safe if you do want to go ‘real time’ with a fetish or kinky fantasy. Personally that is why phone sex is so great! You CAN have the yummy fantasy without all the constraints that are in reality! It’s perfect all the way around isn’t it?
Thank you for your response mistress. What if part of the fantasy is an unbelievable reality that is truly mixed in and part of the fantasy of the mind fuck. Even though the reality is still a part of the fantasy. On the phone ofcourse, sorry if I’m getting to deep.
Curtsy – your princess ballerina
Oh precious princess ballerina! The mind fuck is a wickedly delicious way to do this! AND the art of the mindfuck is to combine realistic bits of reality or real-sounding things into the fantasy for the ultimate thrill ride!
I concur mistress, it is a thrill ride when chatting with you.
~smiles~ I love that thrill ride too! Yay! 🙂
Well…i DID keep it all seperate…but it sorta melds together and cums out….and it soon is both the same…..as soon as i shared my sissy self with one woman…it spread like wildfire….and kept re-appearing….getting caught sissy shopping at the mall…..being sub to a woman on a date……hit on by men……panty lines at work…….soon it is just overwhelming…….i am surrounded in my own creation of total femininity…no where left to hide……everyone is sooo sure i am gay…fag…sub sissy….but i am noy gay……i only ever did what the woman who owned me made me do…….
That call with you was SO MUCH FUN! You are SUCH a sissy fag missy laflamme! ~laughs~ Oh yeah, you’re compartmentalized desires just blended right on in together didn’t they? ~winks~ And now you still want to say you’re not gay? ~giggles~ Yeah, right. Let’s talk about THAT, shall we?