This is part two of a series of excerpts of an IM chat I had with a man in his 20’s who came across Femdom and is curious. He’s also new to phone sex! In the previous post He describes how he found the erotic fetish of female Domination. Today, I post our IM chat about how this discovery has changed his fantasy sex life and masturbation habits.
Femdom fantasies changed his masturbation habits
New Guy: I masturbate alot. At least once a day even if i got a girlfriend. i didn’t masturbate this much before i found out about female domination.
New Guy: I actually masturbated at my office for the first time today
New Guy: I think of women dressed up as Mistress most of the time i masturbate – alot of diffrent scenarios.
What Femdom scenes are hot?
New Guy: Like i getting fucked and forced to suck a strapon, getting a good spanking.
New Guy: Facesitting
New Guy: I have played with a finger in my ass while masturbating
New Guy: Today i was masturbating to the thought i was your property Empress Olivia
New Guy: My girlfriend was mad at me one morning
New Guy: She told me she had woke up in the middle of the night becouse the bed was moving when i jerked off. I don’t even remember doing it. Like i had done it while i was asleep
New Guy: I couldn’t hold my self so im masturbating now again
empress.olivia: ~laughs~ (the erotic humiliation is so hot isn’t it?)
empress.olivia: no worries……..
empress.olivia: masturbation is GOOD !
empress.olivia: I can’t wait to post all this to My blog!
empress.olivia: THANK YOU !!!
New Guy: Happy to please you Empress
The next several installments of this are the actual beginning of our IM conversation where I coach him into how to describe some of his erotic desires and how phone sex can work for the realization of those fetish fantasies.
As always, I want to hear from YOU. I’m particularly interested in your masturbation habits and how Femdom has changed your your masturbation fantasies.
Ms Olivia
Great series of posts Ms Olivia. Not only are we learning about one of your new callers and how things work, but also a lot about you. And the more I’m learning the sexier you are.
My masturbation habits have changed over time. One of the key things I’ve noticed is the more engaged I am in femdom, the less I masturbate to orgasm. The reason seems to be that I’m saving it for my mistress, who ever that may be. One of the LDW mistresses or my wife. So while I may stroke a little everyday the orgasms are saved for when I’m with someone. That could one in a week, or as many as everyday.
@ wellspanked …. THANK YOU ! The response to these IM chats has been amazing! One thing I’m learning is that while I am well versed in the language and environment of kink, fetish, erotica and phone sex many (if not most) people that come to our family of sites aren’t ! I think I intuitively knew that everyone is a different comfort levels or levels of exploration but I hadn’t put that together with how to do a sort of *primer* on how to talk with a Mistress. WOW ! So, I’m learning a huge amount from these interactions as well!
You know the adage … if you really want to learn something, then teach it to someone else.
That’s really interesting how your masturbation / orgasm release has changed. I hear from a lot of men that the fun of orgasm edging or orgasm denial before release is only fun when it’s done for a purpose or a person like a Mistress (or other woman, you mentioned your wife). THEN the orgasm feels like a tribute or offering to that woman which increases the pleasure for you because it’s your GIFT to Her. Have you ever thought of it that way?
MsOlivia, I’m not sure it’s ever changed my masturbation habits since as I’d indicated on your EE poll, I think my love of Femdom has been something that’s always been there to one extent or another. I’d say that it has given me many things to think of while performing the act (and as we’ve both said, the brain is the biggest erogenous zone) like (your idea of) being bound to a cross and blindfolded while I antici pate what’s to happen or being kidnapped and thrown in a trunk of a car to be taken somewhere. These are exciting ideas that increase my level of masturbatory pleasure.
@ magnus …. you bring up something I’ve noticed (with My guy) and those who get phone sex sessions with Me. I assume this is the same with other Mistresses. At the beginning of the next session I usually ask or he usually volunteers that he has masturbated thinking of a previous session. I love that! I’m a big fan of masturbation so all the things that make it even hotter SHOULD be used to full effect. ~laughs~
hi Mistress Olivia,
my masturbation habits have changed a great deal over the years, but a constant has been the desire to serve a strong / dominant woman.
Various girlfriends have helped with this (as You know i think i learnt the most from a certain ex), a few online Dommes have also taught me, a few visits to Domme have also taught me.
Fantasies may change, but the theme is to be used and to serve is what does it for me, right now my fantasy play involves being an ashtray slave, my wife does enjoy this play – the fact she is involved now is thanks to You in no small part for encouraging me to be honest about my desires.
i have masturbated @ work, which is damm hot, especially when told to go do it and eat up my mess!!
thank You Mistress Olivia for teaching me more xx starbaby
ahhh starbaby you are SUCH a cum slut! LOL
Seriously, we’ve been in a sexy texting relationship for for three years! You’ve listened to My voice on the free erotic audios but we’ve never actually talked on the phone …. so when I talk about phone sex relationships I sure am thinking of you as well. I’ve been *with* you in a variety of fantasy situations as well as real life relationship issues and questions. You know, I’m thrilled that you and your wife have been able to connect in a way that works! It makes Me feel VERY good to know that your marriage is evolving and that the sex is spiced up! That is fantastic !!!
*nods* I do know what you mean about the fantasy and fetish play evolving over time. As you learn more you want to try more. Personally, I think that is hot and sexually exciting. I’m always up for new and interesting sexual adventures! *wink*
Now, as you read this……you know what to do! DO IT for Mistress. Smile and think of Me. 🙂
Yes, I have thought about it that way. Also in the context of an unspoken “permission”. One last thing is that I learned was if I have frequent orgasms, there is less cum than if there is some time between them. My wife noticed this, and during times when we may not be having sex vry often I sort of want her to know that I’ve saved it for her. If we haven’t had sex in a week, and I don’ cum much she’ll know I had several orgasms in the last few days. The same can go for mistresses, if I cum on cam I’d rather there be more cum than just a little.
LOL ……. that’s a perfect reason for orgasm denial wellspanked! I love to SEE lots of gooey, white, creamy cum. *fans self* Oh MY ! I’ll have to write more later.
~laughs~
A gift to my Mistress – that is exactly the way I now think of it Mistress Olivia.
I also used to masturbate every night. Part of my ritual for going to sleep. I considered it a need and a right.
But as my slave relationship has deepened, I’ve found that the slave part of me needs to have my orgasms and stroking increasingly restricted. Now I only stroke in the presence of my Mistress, and I haven’t been allowed an orgasm for over 7 weeks. I could never have imagined wanting or being able to do something like this before, and it is often VERY difficult. But there is a deep satisfaction knowing I am doing this for my Mistress, and that is more powerful than satisfying my immediate needs.
@ slavemind…..YES ! The deepening control of a Mistress over her slave or pet means that many things will change. And altering how you stroke, when you stroke and when you get to cum is the outward manifestation of the internal (mental, emotional and psychological) changes that are also taking place.
Changing your masturbation habits is also a way for you to keep your Mistress *close* to you in a tangible way between phone sex encounters.
I think orgasm training or orgasm denial training is similar to any kind of physical training that also requires mental or emotional discipline. For example, training for a Marathon, you can train and run all you want but during the Marathon itself (miles 20 – 22 or thereabouts) you’ll hit the *wall* and what gets you through the wall is the mental stuff. The journey at that point is mental, emotional and psychological rather than merely physical.
THAT is the really fun and intimate part of any submissive training that deepens into a D/s relationship that you obviously have with Ms Violet. THAT is where the yummy FUN stuff is ! And, you’ve made a wonderful choice……whew, I sound like I’m Ms Violet’s agent and I swear I’m not. She is just amazing and I adore Her in oh so many ways *wink*.
I love all these chats youy have. I cn’t wait for you to put our chat on the web. I am Malissa, the girl they is trying to be the biggest sissy you have ever chatted with.
Huggs,
Malissa
Precious malissa !
How’s My yummy sissy? Hmmmmmm …… are you STILL the biggest sissy I’ve ever seen? *wink* You know I talk with a LOT! ~laughs~