You probably know that a phone sex experience can go awry if your Mistress companion doesn’t have a clear idea of what you want. So, this means the dreaded phrase, “Honey we have to talk.” LOL But, unlike real life you WILL enjoy the talk you have with Me. You’ll enjoy the results of the conversation even more!
How I handle pre call setup
Every Mistress is different in terms of handling pre-call setup. I prefer yahoo instant message (empress.olivia). This pops up automatically and, unlike email, I don’t need to check it to get your message. You can also send Me an email (it’s not as immediate but I do check it often and respond as soon as possible). One note: I do get lots of sessions and I don’t IM during a session. If you want to bypass any delays My suggestion is to just call or get a sexy texting session. How you handle it is totally up to you. The IM chats I’ve been posting are all pre-call set up conversations.
Pre-call setup via IM chat
Man: I’ve heard that you are sensual yet strict, is that a good description?
Olivia Olivia: brb on call
Olivia Olivia: no worries…..off the call now. Sorry for the delay (I don’t IM while on a call) and YES……sensual AND as strict as you want Me to be.
Olivia Olivia: got another call……:)
Man: When I submit to You, You can be as strict as you please. My submission will be total and I would expect you to be intolerant of any vagrancy.
Olivia Olivia: I can be both sensual AND intolerant…..have you read My blog about the mindfuck?
Olivia Olivia: www.experiencedmistres.com
Olivia Olivia: have another call.
Man: I just read it. Sounds like what I need, Mistress.
Olivia Olivia: on call
Man: Basically what I would like is to explore a public masturbation fantasy where you guide my actions, humiliate me a little, and you decide whether or not I have an orgasm in the end. I would like you to be sensual, strict, and maybe a little bit cruel… and I would like you to watch me. The rest is up to you.
Olivia Olivia: FANTASTIC !
I ask questions to tailor a fantasy to him
Olivia Olivia: Are you going to actually BE in public? Or is that the fantasy setting?
Man: The public is a fantasy setting.
Olivia Olivia: Great……I *do* have qualms about public in reality! 🙂
Olivia Olivia: so…….
Olivia Olivia: tell Me the setting.
Man: The fantasy is that I would be in a room with about ten beautiful women and they order me to masturbate for them. Some of them are nice, others are cruel. All of them are very sexy.
Man: So what should I be wearing?
Olivia Olivia: LOL……….The Board Room !
Olivia Olivia: WE are the owners and operators of The company that specializes in cock control.
Olivia Olivia: Before we talk about what you should wear. Let’s talk about what turns you on in general. Do you like femme?
Olivia Olivia: CFNM
Olivia Olivia: toys
Olivia Olivia: CBT
Olivia Olivia: spanking
Olivia Olivia: tell Me about limits and what you like.
Olivia Olivia: be as specific as possible while not turning this into a cybering session.
Wants and limits to sex play
Man: Spanking, humiliation are in. I’ll try cbt but nothing that will leave a mark (I am married). No anal. What is femme?
Olivia Olivia: femme is wearing panties…..seduced or tricked into wearing women’s clothes.
Olivia Olivia: CAN be perfect for submission and humiliation.
Man: I imagine the women to be strong dominant women who happen to like having a man wank for them and appreciate a man.
Olivia Olivia: *nods* Gotcha, so you don’t want to BE one of the girls. LOL Another question, you mentioned CBT. Have you ever done CBT? It’s an either love it or hate it sensation. Have you ever hit or tapped *hard* your balls during arousal?
CBT and safety
Man: I’ve done cbt once but (literally) got my foreskin burnt. Didn’t like that but love the idea of tapping my balls or cock for you.
Olivia Olivia: OUCH !
Olivia Olivia: You didn’t have a Mistress do that did you?
Olivia Olivia: you were playing around solo?
Man: No a mistress told
Olivia Olivia: OMG !!!!
Man: Not from your group.
Olivia Olivia: okay, listen…..SERIOUSLY …… do NOT do CBT with a Mistress unless she asks you LOTS of questions……..
Olivia Olivia: there are health and safety issues……in addition to arousal issues.
Man: With a hot spoon
Olivia Olivia: *rolls eyes*
Olivia Olivia: OMG……….
Olivia Olivia: *shakes head*
Olivia Olivia: okay, don’t do that again!
Man: I appreciate your concern Mistress.
Why My questions are important
Olivia Olivia: The FUN of edge play like we’ll be doing is that I ‘map’ out your individual edge and then take you to it…..learn more about you….then begin to DANGLE you over the edge……thrilling, exciting and dangerous and ultimately safe and sane. For CBT in particular, you really do want someone who knows what they’re doing.
Man: I trust you
Olivia Olivia: Otherwise the danger that is arousing can turn into a *bad* danger like with family, health, work, etc.
Olivia Olivia: THAT is why I’m asking you all these questions.
Man: I appreciate it very much Mistress
Olivia Olivia: Hey, can I post our conversation on My blog……taking out your name and identifiers? A lot of people have had similar experienced and concerns.
Man: Of course, Mistress
Olivia Olivia: THANK YOU !!!
How to communicate during the session
Olivia Olivia: Okay…..I’m going to experiment with light CBT and I’ll want you to give Me feedback during the session on your reactions. We won’t *break the session* ……
Man: What does that mean?
Olivia Olivia: I’ll be asking you sexy hot questions but you will answer seriously.
Olivia Olivia: Okay?
Olivia Olivia: Good. From the Domme side it’s always important to check in with the submissive. When you are the male submissive to a Femdom it’s important that you don’t blindly just *do* things for the Mistress. You might move to that level of play ONLY with Domme’s that you REALLY KNOW and who really know you!
Man: So what should I be wearing? And should I prepare anything? Will you still watch me?
Olivia Olivia: OH MY yes I’ll watch!
Olivia Olivia: LOL
Olivia Olivia: of course.
Man: Yes Mistress!
I do not assume I ‘know’ you or your fetish needs
Olivia Olivia: You asked what to wear. That’s often a signal that you are turned on by some level of crossdressing. So, tell Me about dressing. Since you asked about femme, I’m going to check with you and make sure we’re on the same page. When I say……..WEAR THESE PANTIES.
Olivia Olivia: Does that make you hard or tingle?
Man: Tingle a little
Olivia Olivia: have you ever worn panties?
Man: I wore a bra once
Olivia Olivia: you did! Great, how did you feel?
Man: I was (young)
Olivia Olivia: ahhhh…….
Olivia Olivia: hmmmm…….
Man: I was turned on by the idea of a bra, but when you’re (that young) it doesn’t take much!
Olivia Olivia: LOL ! Let’s try panties. Can you wear your wife’s panties?
Man: I suppose I could
Man: They will be much too small…
Man: Did you get a call?
Olivia Olivia: Nope, sorry for the delay …. I multi task between calls. 🙂 Are you able to get a pair of panties that will fit?
Man: No, but I could force them on.
Olivia Olivia: Panties are great for a feeling of general naughtiness. They’re a perfect symbol of male submission and humiliation ie, hearing the order: Get into these panties! Plus, there’s the physical sensations of tightness.
Man: Should I put my wife’s panties on for tomorrow?
Olivia Olivia: bring the biggest and stretchiest panties for tomorrow.
Olivia Olivia: but don’t put them on………
Olivia Olivia: I’ll want to see them first.
Olivia Olivia: I might have you put them on.
Man: Yes Mistress
Olivia Olivia: Tight is great…..too tight….well, not so great. LOL
What kind of humiliation?
Olivia Olivia: Tell Me more about the erotic humiliation you like.
Man: I’m really not sure about it. I get turned on by the thought of giving up control. If it is slightly painful or humiliating, so be it, it is out of my control.
Olivia Olivia: Are you hard now?
Man: I think it’s more the lacking control that turns me on then the humiliation.
Olivia Olivia: *nods*
Man: I am slightly hard. I am sitting in my car in a Parking lot
Olivia Olivia: PERFECT. I’m going to say some things and I want you to notice how your dick reacts.
Olivia Olivia: if you get hard, tell Me.
Man: Go ahead Mistress
Olivia Olivia: If you stay slightly hard, tell Me.
Man: Yes Mistress
Olivia Olivia: I’m going to map out your humiliation triggers so I know where to start tomorrow 🙂
Olivia Olivia: DO NOT CUM right now! LOL
Olivia Olivia: If you get totally hard and aching then think really gloomy thoughts until we can continue.
Olivia Olivia: LOL
Man: I am in public, I will not even pull it out.
Olivia.Olivia EXCELLENT !
Olivia Olivia: Okay………
Olivia Olivia: FUCKING LOSER ! Tell Me, What did your dick do when you read that?
Man: Limped a little
Olivia Olivia: okay.
Man: But not completely
Olivia Olivia: good…..now let’s try something else.
Olivia Olivia: What a pitiful dick, look ladies…..hahahhahahah
Olivia Olivia: more tingle than the limp?
Olivia Olivia: great!
Olivia Olivia: I’ve got a text session, it’s only 10 minutes….would you like to wait?
Man: Maybe later? I have to get home.
Olivia Olivia: Sure!
Olivia Olivia: With just this much IM chat, I’ve got some concrete ideas 🙂 And, I know where to start with you. The rest I can intuit during the call based on your reactions.
Man: Thank you Mistress. I do appreciate your level of professionalism about this.
Olivia Olivia: SURE !
Olivia Olivia: I, and we, want you HAPPY in a tormented sort of way. 🙂
After the call via Skype
Yes, he was on cam for Me. Yes, I did put him in panties. We also did some light CBT (safe and sane) and he loved it. Here’s what he had to say about his call with the Experienced Mistress: “I just got out of the shower and I am still shaking with pleasure. Thank you so much Mistress.”
How much pre call set up do you do? How much set up do you want before a call? Do you want the setup to be in a free IM Chat like this one or are you willing to get a text session (or a call) as a way to have these sorts of conversations before the actual playtime? As always, I want to hear from YOU!