I get a lot of questions about a variety of topics. The current batch of questions seems to center on what is *normal* in terms of sexual arousal or erotic fantasies. Do you or have you ever wondered where your sex fantasy falls on the scale of vanilla to so called extreme fetish sex?
Do you wonder how your sex fantasy compares with the sex fantasies of other men? In short, what is ‘normal’ for male arousal in general or more specifically on phone sex?
There are several issues here, the first being YOUR personal comfort level with who you are and what your sexual desires entail. I did a poll on our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire, asking members if they’d ever wondered/worried about what they find sexually arousing. The “normal sex fantasy” poll shows 2/3rds of the respondents saying, yes they’re comfortable. About 1/3 express some level of concern.
How to talk about the sex you want
I’ve done other blog posts about the issues around handling your sex secrets. Concern about how a partner perceives you is part of the *dating dance* as Paul points out:
“First, I think everyone has their own thoughts of what is “normal”. After all what may be “normal” for one, may not be for someone else, and there is nothing wrong with that at all. The other part of that is one would have to feel comfortable with someone in order to truely share their fantasy. On some level, I would think that everyone at one point or another worries if their “normal” fantasies are “outside the norm”. I know I have.”
I have too, Paul! Now, let’s add on if you have an erotic fantasy that you know is outside your perception of the norm. I think the fantasy of a man who wants to be coerced into sucking cock or a man ‘made’ to eat his own cum are two great examples. Remember that the norm will change depending on the group. What I perceive to be the norm in My quilting group will be very different from what I perceive to be the norm in My real life fetish group.
Lessons from phone sex
What phone sex has taught Me is to NOT assume something based on appearances. Believe Me, most people have sex needs that are very different from how they present to the world. This is especially true for male submissives who crave the ‘vacation release’ of the occasional submission to Mistress fantasy.
Therefore, I’ve learned not to judge a book by the cover! What do I know? The quilters might be into fetish needle play! ~laughs~ And I know that at least one member of My fetish group is very shy about overt sex acts like blow jobs and any kind of penetration. So remember, what you *think* someone is into might be VERY different from the reality of that individual’s private sex urges and desires.
This was inspired by this question:
Is it unusual for a man to want his girlfriend to use a strapon on him? …… ((his question and comment continues and we’ll get to that in another post *wink*)).
Let’s talk about this and other kinky fantasies next. I’ll answer your questions and his question in the coming posts. What are your thoughts/questions/comments so far? As always, I look forward to the conversation with YOU!
NEW IM: EnchantrixOlivia