This is the first in a series of posts about a man who is new to Femdom and phone sex. The following IM chat takes place the second day we met. I’m putting this at the beginning of the series so you can also have a sense of who he is while you’re reading our IM chat.
This these IM chats are not sessions. He happened to catch Me at times when I was available to chat (I don’t IM during a paid session). When I’m available for calls, I’m also available for IM chats like this one.
When I get a call or session, I’ll tell you and then come back to IM after the session. I don’t mind at all if you get hard (or have an orgasm) during the question and answer but I will move you to a session when I feel that you are sexting with Me (ie actually trying to do a session for free). As always, if you want My undivided attention it is best to get a session. For all free chats like this one, he has given his permission to Me to post this on My blog. The bold headings are My addition to help with visual clarity. I’ve made some slight editing changes. Otherwise, this is the full text of this part of our conversation.
I find out more about HIM:
empress.olivia:Tell Me a bit about you. Same thing as our IM chat yesterday, tell Me things I can put on My blog. I’d like to know about your sex life now and your fantasy sex life. Does that make sense?
New Guy: Im a 25 year old boy/man.
New Guy: I live in sweden together with my girlfriend
New Guy: What would you like to know about my sex life?
empress.olivia: brb on a call
empress.olivia: I’m back…….
How he got interested in Femdom
empress.olivia: Tell Me about how you got interested in female domination.
New Guy: About 4-5 months ago i was browsing the internet for facesitting. While browsing for things i found many connections to female domination and i started to read about it. And it was very interesting. I started to watch femdom videos (mostly strapon play) but alot of others as well. Yesterday i started to chat with you about it and i feel i have found a huge turn on.
empress.olivia: What were you originally looking for on the web?
New Guy: The panties i had tried earlier
New Guy: I was browsing porn and saw a facesit video and searched for it
empress.olivia: Was the attraction Femdom face sitting itself? What was it that got your attention? Aside from the obvious….LOL….I mean was it the face sitting…..or something else …. her clothing, expression, what the guy was doing?
New Guy: I thought it looked fascinating lying under a girl like that
empress.olivia: ahhhhh….a young man with a view!
New Guy: Also she was wearing a hot corset and actually looked like she was in command
New Guy: Im horny
empress.olivia: Of course you are! That’s a good thing
empress.olivia: AND, I just got a sexy texting session. I’ll be back in 45 minutes.
empress.olivia: During that time, tell Me about your masturbation habits — EVERYTHING you can think of to tell Me.
New Guy: Yes my Empress
The next installment of this blog will have more details about the New Guy. This Experienced Mistress finds out how he uses Femdom to spice up his masturbation sex life!
As always, I want to hear from you. What was YOUR first interest in FemDom and how did you begin to explore the sexy world of erotic Female Domination? Tell Me!
*wink*Â Â Ms Olivia
Ms Olivia,
I want to commend you for how terrific your blog has been over the last few months. It has been a source of great material and great dialogue between yourself, other Mistresses, and chatter/callers. I’d particularly like to single out the IM series as a great window in discreetly eavesdropping on a conversation to gleam ways to engage and interact.
To answer your question RE: initial thoughts, in my personal life, I’ve had a predominantly vanilla sex life, but always enjoyed reading erotic stories for masturbatory fantasies. After awhile I noticed that I found myself gravitating toward stories w/ some kind of power exchange. I believe I have over the years developed some vague fantasies about ceding some control to a beautiful, witty, sexually confident woman who knows how to “push buttons”. Great erotic storytelling, with its attention to detail and the time to setup “causes and effects”, has been a great way to safely explore some of those themes.
I found a lot of erotic stories with these types of scenarios at literotica.com and I suppose some after further surfing found teasemania, where I lurked for a long time listening to audios, many of which contained the great storytelling mentioned above, coupled with the aural delight of hearing the lovely voices of you and your colleagues in my ears. Made comfortable by friendly yet inobtrusive mediums of the social network and the radio chatroom, I was made to feel very welcome in the community and eventually start to make my acquaintance with some of the ladies “proper”.
As for my next encounter or relationship, I cannot definitively testify as to what impact this exploration over the last few months will have but I can say I will probably be more open to organically pushing the envelope a bit, if the situation calls for it…
Hi castaway …..thank you so much for your kudos about My blog and posting the IM chats with people are interested in fetish, kink, Femdom and/or phone sex. I admit, it was an experiment at first, but it sure works! You bring up an excellent point about these IMs being a way to engage and interact with Me (and other Mistresses who like to use IM). I hadn’t thought of these chats that way, but you’re right!
To your own personal journey. I think you are like many men I talk with. The VAST majority aren’t looking for the ‘I am Woman and therefore superior’ approach …. they want someone who is (in your own words) witty and sexually confident. I’ll add that true confidence doesn’t mean arrogance. Wit doesn’t equal sarcasm. ETC.
The single most irritating thing to Me about intimate interactions is the propensity for mushy and passive/aggressive behaviors and therefore conversations. Since phone sex is a professional, paid activity this helped Me really unleash and live up into My natural style of straightforward communication, personal responsibility for choices, mutual consent for things that effect both people and articulating/enforcing personal boundaries. So, like you….MY experience with phone sex has helped to clarify My own needs and desires. And, those wants, needs and desires are in all areas of My life (sexual and non-sexual).
You mentioned literotica and I’m a big fan. That’s a great website for all kinds of exploration.
I LOVE that you found our various methods on interaction to be graceful and welcoming. The standards, creativity and unique environment here are all due to Ms Ally. I can’t say enough good about her vision as a woman, business woman, personal mentor and friend. SHE is the total package and that’s reflected in everything I and we do 🙂
PS…..sorry for the delay on this response ….. I’m back home from staying in FL with Ms Ally …. *wink* I should do an erotic audio about some of our exploits! LOL But, that’s for another time.
When I look back, I know I was always excited by the idea of submission, though I didn’t know the name for it.
For example, I remember the first Playboy magazine I saw when I was maybe 11 years old. Yes, I found the female bodies very attractive, but what really turned me on was imagining what it would be like to be naked and photographed, and then have those pictures published. It was kind’of a mild humiliation thing I was imagining, and I was putting myself in the role of the females I was seeing the the Playboy magazine. So I know that type of mindset was hardwired into my head, even at that early age.
Jumping forward to much later (maybe 8 or 10 years ago) I stumbled onto the LDW cockcontrol site. I think the site was just starting back then. I found the site fascinating, but would only very occasionally (maybe once or twice a year) do a single tease and delay session with a lady who happened to be on at the time.
Then last summer I did a call with Mistress Violet. I had gotten to the point where I was looking for more of a relationship, and there was immediate chemistry between us. Now I am Mistress Violet’s slave and call her on a weekly basis.
So it has been a long evolution. I hope the next step will be to bring the M/s dynamics into my personal life.
@ slavemind ….. thank you SO MUCH for your great description of your erotic journey.
Before I forget, let Me talk for just a moment about Ms Violet. I adore, love and respect Ms Violet. She is a personal friend and professional play partner. I recommend Her without reservation for anyone. Ms Violet and I have limited overlap of our login hours so if you like Me or this blog you owe it to yourself to check out Violet. I am available for calls during the day up until about 9 pm est ….. and Ms Violet stays much later. She, like I am, is busy on calls a HUGE amount of the time she is logged in so please be respectful and understanding if you IM and she’s on a call. That is GENERALLY the case for both of us but we do the free IM chat when we can 🙂 (slavemind, I wasn’t writing that to you, but to the others who don’t know Ms Violet)
Now, to YOUR journey. That is FASCINATING. The more I learn about the early (young) experiences the more I see the direct correlation between events from the early years and how fetish and erotic desires play out in adult life. I’m curious…..you mentioned putting yourself in the role of the woman in the photos and feeling the mild humiliation of that. May I ask, how did this play out in what you’re doing now? For example, do you enjoy cross dressing and other feminization? Is the erotic humiliation still there? Feel free to NOT answer any questions that you’re uncomfortable with but I can see both of those themes as offshoots from that erotic beginning. The slave and service orientation I can totally see (and it’s up front with your IM name).
Thank you SO MUCH for writing. Tell Ms Violet that her bread maker will be on the way to her in about two weeks! LOL She’ll know what I mean and She’ll laugh!
Thank you for your reply Ms. Olivia.
I have to tell you, I am really happy because last week Mistress Violet suggested that we do a two-mistress call with you! I could not have been more thrilled because I’ve been reading your blog for a while and knew you were someone I really respected.
And this ties directly into your question about how those early experiences play into what I’m doing now. Yes, a certain type of erotic humiliation is very exciting to me. It has to do with being exposed sexually, but at an emotional level in addition to a physical level. And that is the theme of the call Mistress Violet suggested that we do with you. She knows you well and knew you would be very good at giving a completely honest, unflinching assessment (negative and/or positive) that I so much desire. For me, receiving that kind of objective appraisal is definitely erotic humiliation, and it is far more penetrating than just a nude photograph.
Regarding cross dressing, feminization, strapon play, etc., those never became fetishes for me. But I would happily do any of them if they were something my Mistress desired. I wonder if it might be even more exciting if it were something that were not a fetish for me, but I knew it was for her.
@slavemind ….. Ms Violet and I are talking about you *wink* and I love the plan! In part, because I absolutely ADORE Ms Violet! She is an amazing partner on two girl phone sex calls …. we *click* in our styles …. and She is right in that I can do the objective appraisal in a fun, funny, teasing way with just the *right* amount of erotic humiliation. ~laughs~ And, I think cam calls are fantastic because……well, I get to SEE you and you get to be seen!