BDsm experiences
The previous blog talked a bit about my personal fetish journey. I touched a bit on the difference between lifestyle BDsm and fantasy BDsm. I love that topic and will write more about that as we go because I have a lot of personal BDsm experiences.
That blog inspired a question from magnus who asks: “Sometimes you hear that a particular Domme started out Her journey as a sub. I rather like that since that gives Her a better understanding of what goes through the submissive’s mind. What are Your thoughts on that? Do You ever try things out Yourself to know how they feel. Obviously CBT might be hard to do. LOL”
My fetish journey started as a submissive
I’ve often said that phone sex is perfect for BDsm fantasy exploration. While I often weave an erotic fantasy during your phone sex session, please know that the fantasy is based in my personal experiences in all sorts of naughty sexual adventures, including my personal BDsm experiences. That question shows insight … When I started getting into the real life kink world, I was a submissive. I didn’t have a Femdom mentor (or 2 or 3) until nearly a year into my own kinky explorations. I became a submissive to a Dom that I still play with today. He is a trusted play mate and I learned a lot from him … one of the things I learned is that I am not submissive. I’m really glad I was submissive because, as magnus says, I learned a lot about what goest through the mind of a submissive. I still like being topped which is more about sensation play than being a submissive … and I did laugh at the comment about CBT … obviously that does apply but I sure tried the female version of CBT! ~laughs~
Thanks for your question magnus and yet another blog inspired by you!
Dear Mistress Olivia,
Fantastic blog post about your own personal BDSM journey. I really love to hear about other Mistress’ past experiences, and how they got their start as a Domme. It’s always fascinating when a Dominant Mistress such as yourself; had a start as a submissive. Based upon you life experiences, you truly have a knack for understanding your sub, because you have quite literally been in their position.
xoxox Tabetha
Thanks Tabetha! I’m really glad I know various sides of all things sex because I’m curious about everything! I love getting to know you better as well!
Oh please DO tell us about your female equivalent of CBT experience! 😉 I can’t say that I’ve ever been a submissive, but I do have extensive personal anal experience. I agree that when you know what something feels like, you can better lead your partner through his own experience! Great question!
hahahhahahahahhaha
You know….it was that experience that taught me that I DO thoroughly enjoy sensation play but not submission. It’s fun to explore, isn’t it?
Wow, Ms. Olivia, we actually have quite a bit in common as I too started out as a submissive. Texas seems to have a far greater population of female submissives then fem doms. I actually figured out I was a fem dom pretty early when a guy started buying me tools to spank him. I understood at that point that most of my failed relationships were because I am Not submissive though I was attracting Dom men. Once, I changed that pattern, everything seemed to get better. 🙂
I think EVERYWHERE has a greater population of female submissives! I can’t tell you how many kink classes I’ve gone to when it was just assumed that I was the submissive of our pair. Of course, the Femdom arched eyebrow does wonders in that sort of situation and the expression on the other face? hahahahahaha PRICELESS !
What a marvelous post Mistress. I especially like how you describe knowing what goes through the mind of a submissive. When your Dom has absolute control of you and you submit to everything required of you. All while knowing that you are being nurtured and protected by the very dom that is controlling you. Your mind reaches a place of erotic self awareness that is so difficult to put into written word. What enriching experiences you have behind you.
Thanks Gina! I’ll admit, I’m curious about kink and fetish. I have a personality where I like learning and people, ideas and things … kink and fetish sex has many layers so I like learning about (and doing) all the nuances!