I have several callers who adore the rush of a delicately placed mindfuck. This is where the sensations are way more than just physical …. the center of erotic arousal is primarily in the mind (such a terrible thing to waste, eh?).
I’m thinking of this right now because the stroker addict called last night. He also very much enjoys the *rush* of being publicly exposed during his sessions. Sooooo …. during our call I posted a poll on Enchantrix Empire asking if he should be allowed to cum. ~laughs~
My origin of the wicked sensual mindfuck
Want to know what the secret is? Hope. This Experienced Mistress uses hope in an interesting way during a mindfuck. Think back to the ancient *myth* of Pandora’s box. Pandora is created as a beautiful and talented Woman for pleasure and companionship. She is naturally curious when Jupiter’s messenger shows up with a mysterious container (some say box, some say jar).
Erotic story with a zinger
The mindfuck is a yummy erotic story with barbs that throw you around the emotional rollercoaster. Just like in Pandora’s time. Life is grand for the ancients. Until …. the lovely Pandora opens the box and unwittingly unleashes the *evils* on mankind (pain, fear, suffering, etc.). She is shocked by the sounds outrage as the evils take their toll on her companions so Pandora seals up the box. Is that the end? No. Pandora hears a sweet voice calling to her from inside the box …. a voice that offers, well, HOPE. So, she opens up the vessel and out comes the last evil … HOPE. Personally, I think that event describes the beginning of the erotic mindfuck. ~laughs~
How to do a mindfuck?
Some of the actual techniques of humiliation are, of course, similar between various Mistresses. Many of the words of cock control are necessarily the same. But there is an ART to erotic humiliation and the mindfuck is the ultimate in sensual (and wicked) Femdom. Just like with other art forms — Picasso and Titian used the ‘same’ paint but produced very different types of images.
Use of hope during a tease and denial session
Cock tease and denial sessions via phone sex require a vivid imagination, effective understanding of language, intuition about the caller and more. What constitutes *more* depends on the caller …. it is personal, intimate, edgy and intense …. this is where I use HOPE as a double edged sword.
One caller describes his mindfuck
Here’s how one recent caller describes his conversation with Me: “I was in a state I’ve never been in after the call. Unlike any other experience I’ve ever had. Somehow you managed to get it very different. Being sent back to dispatch was the same but totally different. Very humiliating and exciting at the same time. I haven’t thought of anything but you since the call ended. Waiting for you nonstop. Waiting to see when you sign in. Checking the sites to see when you sign in. It’s very humiliating but I can’t stop doing it.”
This is a different sort of *rush* than an orgasm. For those that enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions in the art of erotic humiliation and/or orgasm denial a good mindfuck stays with you longer than le petit mort.
How does this post make you feel? What are you thoughts?
*wink* Are you ready for HOPE? ~laughs~
You are right, Ms. Olivia, there’s little grander than skillful mindfuckery. the only thing i can think of better than a erotic mindfuck scenario, is the cumulative mindfuck that is built over successive interactions. a foundation is laid, the terrain defined initially, then built upon over time until the very nature of “hope” in the latest interaction bears no resemblance to the “hope” desperately clung to at the outset.
FUCK YES! coffee boy….you GET it don’t you? Ahhhhhhhhh, YES! The EVOLUTION of the mindfuck or the journey into submission is the most amazing experience …. for subs that like that sensual and highly charged erotic torture AND for Me! I enjoy that Domme space where I can FLY. And, I love creating and thinking of the journey….then taking you on it. I just did a call moments ago where he caller who told Me that quote told Me more about how he is feeling on the journey. *wink* I suspect you already know a bit of what he’s feeling (your version) don’t you? ~laughs~ AH!
the journey can really be spectacular, and rewarding, Ms. Olivia. its so very dependent on connection. i consider myself very fortunate to have hit a “home run” with my first phone Domme (wow!) 8 years ago. She took control from the start & every call just built on the previous one. the relationship ended, when She left the industry after about 6 months of nearly daily contact in some form. i still miss Her to this day.
it taught me though, that to begin as a “do me sub” does a disservice to a Domme. i far prefer to be a “do to me” sub, setting aside checklists of interests and being a tabular rasa for Her creativity. before long, i have found that my interests & needs running in concert with Her’s.
ahhhh…….coffee boy …. I hear the *ache* for your Domme. I write a lot about how intimate (and therefore important) these phone sex relationships can be and your comment testifies to that. THANK YOU !
You bring up an excellent point about who has ‘control’ of the erotic play. While it IS mutual …. the submissive is the one that MUST say what is desired. Any good Femdom is intuitive and creative but, alas, not supernatural and therefore unable to read the mind of the submissive. LOL
I notice that some callers may have had a less than spectacular phone sex experience (with another company) or are new to Femdom and therefore are worried they won’t get what they want or need. This is the submissive who will often top from the bottom during a scene. I can certainly understand the instinct! That is more of an erotic conversation or even sexual play that goes back and forth. That is and can be TONS of fun with any roleplay. BUT …. it won’t deliver the feeling of letting go and entering sub space.
The submissive sub space you describe happens when you both talk about limits, desires, needs, styles, etc and then let Her structure the play or fetish scene. I laughed at you calling it the “do me sub”. I haven’t heard that term but it’s funny AND accurate!
The ‘do me sub’ IS one way to do it …. but, there’s so much more available. LOL, it’s like going to dine at the Ritz and asking your waiter to go to the McDonald’s down the street and bring you back a burger. The Ritz is classy enough and expensive enough that they’d do it if that’s what a customer wants but it sure can’t be called dining at the Ritz.
This gives new insight into tease and denial… If we take some creative liberties and compare the erect cock to the box of evils… We soooooooo want to open it and let that hope out, but at the same time, all the evils come out as well 🙁
Such a conundrum!
YES NB !!!! That’s exactly it! Pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin. Eros and pathos …. and the ability to switch those around is the roller coaster ride. Just when you get comfortable and can breathe you get spun around a sharp curve or sent hurtling down a VERY steep incline. ANYTHING and everything can be used in service of the experience. I just did a call where I used the English form of government (Queen, Prime Minister, Parliament, etc.) as the frame of reference (the structure of the roller coaster if you will). I will NEVER think of the English Government the same! LOL And, neither will he. That’s the joy of this edge play and it’s a perfect for skillful phone sex.
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
LOL NB……*which* head are you talking about?
Ready for hope? Ready with a little bit of fear, trepidation, and excitement. Going in not knowing what the outcome will be, but knowing it’s not anything I expected. Knowing that it’s something I both want and don’t want at the same time.
It’s like getting mind fucked, before getting mind fucked. But then I guess that’s all part of it, isn’t it.
YES ! Well put wellspanked. You mentioned something that I’d like to highlight. It is NOT possible to do a mindfuck on someone who does not WANT to experience it. THAT is the joy of Power Exchange and the importance of having a conversation before the scene begins. Both side discuss what it means to have a safe, sane and consensual scene. For example, I have turned down requests for public humiliation that I do not consider SSC. When you say, that the mindfuck is something that you want and don’t want at the same time I know how you’re using that term. It’s like going into a really scary movie. YOU voluntarily go inside the theater (or with phone sex, the theater of the mind). YOU retain the ability and responsibility to *leave* at any time or, in the case of Femdom sessions, to say limits, safewords, etc. There is NEVER a total loss of control. But, by giving up that control to Me (by mutual consent) I can PLAY with you in a deliciously edgy way!
THANK YOU so much for your comment. I’ve been meaning to say that part about limits of My control and you inspired / reminded Me.
i think, Ms. Olivia, the Ritz is an apt analogy. i can remember growing up, whenever we went to dinner with certain friends of my parents, the four of us in our family pretty much ordered whatever was in our comfort range. these friends, on the other hand, would engage the waiter & pry to determine what the chef considered his or her speciality. more often than not, the would order that.
when approaching a Domme, i’ve likely done some fundamental, or even extensive research, but i try to model myself after those friends in the restaurant. i want Her speciality. i want to learn to savor the flavors of what She loves most…those things She pours Her heart and artistic soul into. to me, that is a preamble for an exceptional experience and, perhaps, an exceptional relationship!
@ coffeeboy, I agree with you !! I do similar things. I research the person who I want to *coach* Me in any aspect of My life. I’m going to use My personal trainer for an example. I came to her and wanted her to change up My workout. Mix it up, try new things, push Me in areas that I wasn’t currently pushing. That’s kind of hard to do because I do know a lot about exercise and bodies. (LOL, that way too, with yer dirty mind ~laughs~). And, then I just *do* what she says. I thought those rubber band things were for pussies and that big ball was a dumb looking wimpy workout. WHEW, was I ever wrong!
I know what I know that I know. Which means that left to My own devices, I’ll only experience (or RE-experience) the things I know. If I want new experiences, then I find people that know things I don’t know and then take their guidance.
My role as the Experienced Mistress is kind of like My trainer. Someone might come with certain desires and fantasies … and, sometimes even a specific erotic roleplay …. if they’re willing to let Me lead them beyond what they know they like THEN we can really begin what is an intimate and exciting relationship. Ie, it might start with phone sex scenes and then evolve into friendship and even hotter phone sex play.
a while back, You had made mention of “hearing the ache,” when i wrote about my first Phone Domme. it would be doing a disservice to Her, another Domme, and myself, if i were to try to recreate the precise interplay She and i shared. what i always hope for is to capture that dynamic, again…not instantaneously but at least feel the smolder of the ember of potential.
often, during an initial give-and-take with a new Domme, i’ll make mention of the feminization that first Domme (not so gently, lol) guided me into. They often make the mistake of thinking that scenario is central to what i’m looking for & just as often it turns out to be the key to failure. it wasn’t central to anything. it was a product of the dynamic. if i could once again find that first spark, then that Domme’s entire repertoire of interests are open to O/our exploration.
and, through repeated contact, i would hope that there ends up being friendship at its core.
@ coffeeboy …… RIGHT you are!
The New Guy IM (which I’ll get back to posting once I finish these current comments) is about coaching him to identify and then communicate his desires.
When someone new comes to Me I always ask questions and listen and then ask followups.
Just because being ordered into femme dressing was hot with your first Phone Domme doesn’t mean that is what works now. Fetish and kink are (like most things) tied to circumstances of the moment.
The New Guy IM is about a guy to came to Me via sissy school, having tried on panties that belonged to his girlfriend. After questioning you’ll see if he’s a sissy. LOL I do this verbally before each phone sex session so I know I do the “where are you now with your fetish desires” conversation but I didn’t actually SEE it until I looked at in in print!
You mentioned friendship ….. and I totally agree with you…..if there’s no friendship, intimacy and connection then BLEH ! You’re missing out on the whole POINT of sex, BDsm, Power Exchange, etc …. it’s the opportunity to connect and explore in a REAL way. THAT is the best part to Me. And THAT m’dear coffeeboy is exactly what is happening HERE with our blog comments community. I cherish y’all. Just wanted you to know that. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Femdom programming. ~laughs~ *wink*