Misconceptions about anal sex
Listen to my voice talk all about anal.
If you look at porn you can find tons of anal play. I’m a fan of anal. If you’re new to anal you might wonder if anal play is for you. If you’ve already had a bad experience with anal you might be scared. Here are three myths about anal play to help you sort out your desires down under.
Anal myth #1: Anal sex will hurt
Despite the gaping holes in the porn videos, butt love is meant to go slow at first. If anal sex hurts, it is because you’re doing it wrong. Doing it wrong is easy to do if you get your sex education from porn. The anus is the external group of muscles. Just inside there are TWO rings of muscles called the internal sphincter and the external sphincter. They rest parallel to the anal canal. You can consciously relax the external sphincter but the internal sphincter has a mind of it’s own. The internal sphincter WILL relax if you go slow and give it time to relax.
Anal myth #2: Anal will always hurt
If you’ve had a bad experience with anal then you will clench your ass and your sphincter muscles. That’s normal. It doesn’t always have to be that way. Use LOTS and lots of lube. Check out the lube reviews by the Intelligent Femdom Miss Constance. I like water-based lube for anal play. You can also use a lube launcher to get a lot up your anal canal. Go slow. Allow your body to warm up and then … mmmmm …. enjoy!
Anal myth #3: Bigger is always better
Again, I blame porn for this myth. There’s a difference between what you see in porn and reality or phone sex. Having something HUGE in your ass looks visually impressive but the reality is that small works better. Even if you know you want to go big — start small and then … ahem … build up to larger sizes.
Questions about anal sex?
I love answering questions and talking about kink. Even if you don’t have a question on this topic, you can always post a question in your comment or send me an email olivia AT enchantrixempire.com
Your Experienced Mistress,
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Again,- words of wisdom from You Miss Olivia!!
i totally agree,- anal can be great IF done correctly,- ease-into it seems to be key, just like You explained here.
Yep, I sigh when someone says they hate anal because it hurts … I always say, it doesn’t have to … but I sure do understand someone being scared of anal sex.
perhaps everybody that is scared of anal,- should be allowed to experience the thrill and excitement of a milking by You Miss Olivia?
After our last session, i know for a fact that i am now a believer!!!
I KNEW you would love prostate milking … I’ll admit, chastity combined with prostate milking is among the most exciting things I do! WOW, talk about Dominance / submission and power exchange ! It made you go even deeper into subspace, didn’t it?
Anal sex can absolutely be awesome. I think a lot of times what happens is we tend to fantasize about what it will be like without understanding the prep work involved. I absolutely love, love, love Nina Hartley’s educational videos on the subject. She too recommends lots and lots of lube and taking your time. Anal sex doesn’t have to be off the table if you don’t want it to. Did we mention using lots of lube? ; )
Nina Hartley is AWESOME! You’re right Ms Alexis, she has fantastic educational videos. I love porn but I think this is one area in particular where porn has done a disservice because ALL the prep work for anal isn’t shown … and even tidying up DURING anal also isn’t shown. People have unrealistic expectations. BUT, we can also help educate them so kink is FUN and sexy!
Such a great blog post, Ms. Olivia! All of your points are valid and true. It takes time! And the more relaxed and turned on you are, the better it feels! Also, if you go about four or five inches in and try to touch your balls from the inside of your body, with a press and release motion, you just might give yourself an anal orgasm! But stick with it, it too, takes time and patience. (You’ll know you hit the spot when you feel like you have to pee.)
MMMMMM Ms Courtney, an anal orgasm or prostate massage is a fantastic point! Don’t you love being able to educate about sex? I sure do! There’s all this whack-a-doole info out there so tips on how to make a body feel good are important. 🙂
I’ve never done this before. Would I be a girl when this happens? Would second life be place for you to do this to me? Once you do this I will be oh so vulnerable to you. Right now my unit is so small??????its so tiny as my manhood is no more since you have made me into your cream puff fluffer girl.
You absolutely WILL be a girl when this happens … that’s your sissy pussy and any creampuff needs to experience the thrills of having her sissy pussy filled! Mmmmmmmm
Please do an article about anal worship!!!!!
Ohhhhh, good idea!
I loved the last time we played. I had that butt plug pressing on my prostate while the tip of the sound massaged it from the inside. Wonderful.
And I love sounding you …. you’re the best, the absolute best! The butt plug, of course, is a bonus!
Hello MsOlivia, okay so for me, I just passed 4 and 1/2 years of being sober, yay, which being drunk made it a lot easier to relax and help not be so nervous, as I’ve notice with me now just making sure to relax and breathe. But I did get some help with some lube at a shop which I have to say I liked very much. I also bought a speculum to try out – need to experience with it more to see if I like it or not. Go Eagles. : )
Congratulations Tiffy!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh, all the new experience of doing things you’ve done before but now you’re sober and fully there. Remember life is a thrill ride … strap yourself in … it’ll be bumpy (and exciting). Congratulations again m’dear!