Culture, female power and submission
We live in a culture where the whole notion of female power is often tricky to navigate. There’s a fine line between a powerful woman and a bitch. I have said that Mistress does NOT mean bitch (unless you like the style of a bitchy type of Mistress ~grinz~). It takes talent and a fair amount of self-knowledge to know how to negotiate these sorts of dynamics. I think this is the sort of Wisdom that comes with age for those of us who are inclined to self-reflection.
Male submission
I think the same thing happens with male submissives. I’ve talked with a lot of male subs and most say they have known about the submissive part for years. There is a core part that yearns to submit to a powerful Woman who has control. I know, for example, that I love to be a Femdom Mistress. What do guys that have submissive leaning so? They try to navigate that yearning so it fits with the rest of their lives.
Alpha males and sexual submission
Quite often those of you who are alpha males in other parts of your life still yearn to submit to a Femdom. I’ve heard some of you describe this as a sort of vacation where you don’t have to be the one in charge. In this case, the alpha male gives up his power and turns over control to the Experienced Mistress. Are you ready to be a male submissive? If you become excited at the thought of being feminized, then check out My new blog for the girly girls, Crossdressers Phone Sex and ENJOY!
Beta males and cuckold relationships
When a male sub gives up his power, then things can get very interesting! Cuckolding is one expression of this and like most kinky things, there’s a range of behaviors and motivations. Do you yearn to give up your power to the Woman in Charge and also HER alpha male, commonly known as the Bull in cuckold play?
What are YOUR thoughts?
Are you an alpha male in some parts of your life? What do you like to do when you give up control or power? Tell Me!
Ms Olivia
Hi Ms
I am definitely an alpha male in some parts of my life, especially sport competition. I stand up for myself in my work life and my personal life. Wearing the gown and being your bride relaxes me. I have told you that cding is a great stress relief for me. It always has been.
always yours
yvonne
yvonne thank you so much for commenting! Oh I can totally get that about you! Being submissive while crossdressing is just one part of the whole of who you are….now, granted this is a HUGE part when you can’t crossdress or don’t have someone to be girly with …. but, it’s still a part of the whole! I know another form of stress relief for you….some for Me…SHOPPING! ~grinz~
Mistress Olivia You have provided much food for thought for me with Your comments above.
First is Your discussion of the difference between a dominant female and a bitch. It brought to mind one of my few pet peeves of being a submissive to a strong confident women; that is to be called their bitch. For me the semantics of a head strong, arrogant, and willful female is a bitch and those qualities just don’t align with my sub space. i have no objections to being a pet, subbie, slave, slut, cuckold, or many other names You might choose to give me, but i hope You will never find me bitchy. 😀
There have been occasions in my life where i was very successful as an alpha male. i agree with Your analogy about being on vacation and letting someone else drive. For me though, it is more about knowing my real place in life, naked, kneeling at the feet of a beautiful woman who knows what she wants, and the patience to teach me how to provide it in just the way she likes. It’s not only about relinquishing control in the poser exchange, it’s the thought of presenting my Mistress with the gift of and open mind and willing body for Her to subjugate and exploit purely for Her pleasure and enjoyment, be it mental in domme space or physical through stimulation of her bodies erogenous zones.
my thoughts on Your beta male role as a cuck is a bit more challenging to explain. As Your sub, i am willing to do anything You command to provide You with pleasure. i must confess that i really have no desire to submit to an alpha male (bull) alone. Once again, i consider doing Your bidding, to include pleasuring him in whatever way You command, as a gift to demonstrate my abject submission and devotion to You. Please rest assured, i have desire to serve a Master, except under the watchful eye of my Mistress who is enjoying, and hopefully participating in, the scene to the extent She sees fit.
Thank You Mistress for allowing to share my thoughts with You and Your followers in this venue. 😉
kneel, you bring up some really GREAT nuances of any aspect of male submission to a Femdom Mistress! What is totally arousing to one person is NOT to another! This is why communication is so important! Like you, I am flexible with My needs, desires and kinks. I’m certainly NOT so inflexible that I’m going to do cookie cutter phone sex! BLEH! (lol, that’s not the usual BDsm term but it does apply here.) It’s really a dance between us and I am thoroughly enjoying getting to know you….and have you get to know Me! THANK YOU for your comment here. As you can probably tell, I really enjoy giving thoughtful replies to blog comments! In fact, I find that the blog post itself is merely the start of the conversation! ~smiles~
Correction: No desire to serve a Master alone…
Ahhhhhhh, yes….and, I’ll admit, I am so thrilled by that because this means that you want Me, your Mistress, in the play! I’ll admit to being a voyeur and I love to watch….BUT, even more, I love to participate! ~grinz~
As usual your understanding of these dynamics from both experience and intuition is insightful and nuanced. I suppose we do all compartmentalize things….Alpha side in the work world, beta in relationships. To me it’s surrender of control that seems to be the erotic key, whether it’s to Mistress or her friends. For myself, I don’t think it really works well without a strong attachment to my Mistress. It’s my adoration of her that makes every sacrifice worth it…..and my desire for her that fuels my submission.
Why THANK YOU so much mike! You’re absolutely right about the attachment and connection involved in power exchange and submission! I know from My Mistress side, it is the same. The male submissives that I have tend to be in real relationships with Me. Now, that is certainly within the boundaries of our phone sex boundaries, but still the relationship are real. EVERY relationship has boundaries so this isn’t unusual or somehow less because of that. When you started your journey with a Mistress were you surprised at how intimate the kinky play can get?
I do not see myself as an alpha male in any aspect of my life. I do see myself at least partially submissive in many ways. I do like to think of myself equal to people, more stuck in the middle not dominant and not submissive. I think this may be related to other aspects of my life.
Ahhhhh, Forrest thank you for your comment! I agree with you; that’s My read of you. As you’ve said before, you’re more interested in sensation play! I know from My own love of sensation play that I *can* look like power exchange or submission but, it’s not, not really. Does that make sense?
With me all my sensation play is solo as I have never had a partner that was that intimate with me. I can however see how it could be seen as power exchange or submission especially if it is combined with some kind of bondage. Spanking also falls into sensation, yes I do spank my own ass, and also has elements of submission and power exchange.
I like power exchange and sensation play like spanking! AND, remember not everyone wants to have a partner in person in a sexual situation … for some the solo experience is EXACTLY what works. I’m a fan of doing what works for YOU! Boxes are great for things like carrying books…not so much for human experiences. ~smiles~ And, you know what I mean by that, don’t you Forrest!
I am an alpha male in most areas of my life. I am in upper managrment at work. My role is to make decisions, drive them, and lead. I’m a father and coach, both where I want to teach confidence. Last, even with the woman I enjoy submitting to the most, my wife, I am strong, even dominant sometimes.
It really does relax and excite me to submit to strong women though. I get pleasure when I can arouse, excite and amuse them by submitting. I want them to amuse me.
The most complex situation is the one with my wife. Most of the time the d & s doesn’t go beyond some spanking (fun when it does though), and usually I dom. She does indulge me , and enjoys herself switching sometimes. The complex part is that both in and out of bed my main motivation for being an alpha male is because that makes her happy. She wants that, I please her by being that. Is that being submissive? I’m so confused…lol
Oh wellspanked, you bring up a VERY interesting conversation in D/s circles. If the submissive gets to *choose* what happens who is really in charge? And, I’ve seen fetish web boards light up with this issue! I wonder if I should do a blog post specifically on this! What do you think?
I would gladly partcipate in the discussion, and not only because it would please you. lol
~grinz~ at wellspanked! I love your comments…you’re always appreciated!
i may bow to a woman but I shall not bow to any man. In my personal life, even though I’m alone most of the time, when friends and I get together we decide on where to hang out. But if I’m not into where they want to go I respectfully choose to walk my own way and I have found most of my friends follow me. I was brought up to never back down to anyone which is why sometimes I get into fights at the bars (sometimes). But i also believe that my up bringing is what has me wishing to be in the service of a Powerful Woman. To not to have to be the protector, even though no harm comes to my woman when we are out and about. i’m not sure how to say it but its not the “Power of the Pussy” that makes me want to submit or to be owned, its the feeling of a woman wanting me to submit to her. “Pet” is the best way to describe it. i want to be loved as you would a “pet”.Not sure if that helps in defining anything. Thank You Ms Olivia.
THAT m’dear is a lovely description! Yes pet, you are the perfect example of an Alpha Male! AND, frankly, I think the pressures on Alpha males sometimes get too much….or maybe it’s that the Alpha almost gets overlooked and his strength taken for granted….I’m not exactly sure what it is but I know that you are not submitting out of weakness. In fact, I don’t think submissive are weak. At least, not the ones that play with Me. It is your very strength that brings you to your knees before Me. You KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I appreciate just how much you give Me when you give Me your power….that is the delight of power exchange! You are a wonderful playmate!
**Blushing**
Awww, this post makes Me smile! Thank you 🙂
I am a feminine sissy male who learned to be a submissive. I didn’t give up my power… I learned through experience that females learned that females were better atdecision making than me. I learned that doing what the girls said I should do had better results than when I did things.
I found that I was better at being feminine than masculine. I was a lot better at being submissive than dominate. I now belly dance and joined a female/tran/femme bike group and now enjoy my life as Tina and have a lot of females who enjoy tina as well
That’s such a great comment tina! I’ve seen your belly dancing photos are you are super cute! 🙂 ~smiles~