** Listen to this blog post in this Ms Olivia audio **
I hear from a lot of people who want me to tell them how to get their girlfriend or spouse to be more like a Mistress. This will be a series of posts on this topic because there are so many things to talk about.
Real life and phone sex
So, let’s first time about what is real life? We both know that phone sex is perfect for fantasy exploration.
Does that make the emotions, sensations and intensity you feel any LESS real because it’s phone sex and not face to face? Personally, I find I really get to know certain people and, yes, I do thoroughly enjoy myself on our phone sex calls.
Yes! I even cum ~grinz~ I get off on doing this – the aural pleasure, the female domination, the vanilla whispering during our mutual masturbation.
Real life partner as Mistress
There’s no quick answer to that question so I’m going to leave a broad, generalized, answer and ask for your comments. There is a difference between a Mistress and a bitch.
I think it’s true that many women (in general) want to be submissive to a man OR they want to control him with bitchiness. A female submissive is obviously not a Mistress and if your partner has submissive sexual tendencies then it’s like turning the Queen Mary in a bathtub – tight fit, not going to work.
If she is a bitch then she MIGHT have Femdom tendencies. She might not know enough about the dynamics of power exchange to create the Dominant / submissive sensations that you are looking for and be the Mistress she could be.
Have you tried to get your partner to dominate you or share your sexual kink?
I think it would be really interesting if more women took the role of Mistress in their relationships. I know it would make a lot of men very happy! Hehe, funny, when you first mentioned the word “bitch” I took it to mean a submissive bitch, as in, this is my bitch who gets on her knees and sucks my strap-on, kind of bitch. It’s all about perspective, huh? Great blog, post, Ms. Olivia!
~laughs~ I do like a sweet bitch! LOL Oh and I agree with you….I think the female led relationship would make a lot of men and woman happy….it takes courage to do this, as you well know!
I think my last girlfriend wanted to be a domme but she really did not know how to go about it. In fantasy I want a Mistress to dominate me but not in real life. I have to much rebel in me for that. Real life presents a whole new set of problems when it comes to dominate and submissive. It is a hard dynamic to work through.
You bring up a very good point, yvonne …. it’s wonderful for a woman to be ‘naturally dominant’ but being a Mistress involves skill. It’s sort of like a naturally gifted athlete who still finds value in having a coach and going to regular workout sessions. It takes time, attention, skill, etc to learn to play with power exchange. Part of the learning is technical part is emotional/psychological ….. it’s a challenging dynamic in any relationship but hey, I’m living proof that it sure can be done!
I was first introduced to kink by my ex husband so I would say yes…although I was never his Mistress per say we did experiment with me being in full control and from there well the sky was the limit! I have not looked back and have only expanded my dominant role with men in my personal life and of course on the phone
Constance, I do think women like us are “naturally dominant” … or, when offered a Femdom kind of relationship, we tend to like it and/or explore it further. You bring up phone sex and WOW, that’s a great point! I have learned so much doing phone sex and, like you, this has really opened up my … ahem … boundaries!
It’s hot to think ‘out of the box’ with your husband or boyfriend, and do something that really shakes it up. Alot of women are conservative and ‘vanilla’, with a clear idea of what they can do and what it too ‘out there’. Some women have even grouped certain things as wrong or weird, when it is neither. But allowing ourselves to be rebellious to our own rules is exhilarating, and the men in our lives often end up finding their true role, as well. There are Mistresses everywhere, unaware of their potential or their calling. When the boundaries are widened, it opens discussion and fantasy sharing. It is like learning a new language and gaining complete mastery over it. What results is a sexually confident woman and a man that begs to be along for the ride!
What a wonderful point to make Amber! I absolutely agree that there are Mistresses everywhere that are unaware of the potential for pleasure that they could embrace. I think this is like much of kinky play … the very first journey is self with self and then self with others. With any kind of fetish play it’s a journey of finding out, owning and then expressing sexuality. That’s not a journey most people (male or female) are prepared to make. I’m not sure why …. maybe it’s because the whole topic of erotic pleasure and sex is just too confronting. I’m sure glad I took the plunge and became a Mistress.