Don’t suffer from purging trauma!
I’m hearing from so many crossdressers who have just purged or who have purged in the past. THEN, the urge to dress again comes back! One sweet caller, yvonne, told Me recently, “These problems are common to most cds. It is cyclical and the urge is very strong and very emotional.”
Yvonne and other crossdressing friends of Mine talk about the loneliness and isolation. Part of this is trying to find a community that accepts, understands and even appreciates that femme side of you. I absolutely am here for you during our crossdressing girl talk on the phone.
Another community I’d like to suggest is our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire. There are lots of girly girls there. Some of straight men who like to dress and want to be a lesbian with a woman. Some are straight men when dressed in male clothing but when dressed en femme, will want to be with a man. I call these girls, heterosexual women who want a man. Others are looking for sissy fun, a bi sexual experience, erotic humiliation while dressed, and more. Our community has a variety of people! If you haven’t joined EE, then please check it out.
Community for crossdressers on My blog commentsMs Olivia 1-800-601-6975
You are encouraged to leave blog comments here and join in My blog community! You’ll find that I give thoughtful answers to your questions and comments. Leaving a blog comment is much better than IM or email, because you’ll have My undivided attention while I read and respond. That’s generally not possible when I’m logged in for sessions, unless you’d like to have some girl talk during your session.
One caller talks about the cycle of cross dressing
Yvonne said this: “I do really need to discuss things with you I have gotten away from the “community” down here. It really is not for me to socialize with these folks. Still there is the cding. It is not something I can stop. The urge goes away for a spell, but comes back with a vengeance. Right now I cannot dress enough. It has always been maddening and I am sure you have other callers that have similar experiences. It is just something we deal with as it comes. It will feel good to unburden a bit :)”
Crossdressers TIP to avoid purging
The tip is very simple and easy to do. Get a storage locker. If you don’t want to put it on a credit card, then you can pay with a gift card or money order. If and when you feel the urge to get rid of your femme wardrobe, makeup, wigs, shoes, etc. then just box it all up and put it in the storage locker. I know there’s the expense of the storage locker, but that’s way less expensive than replacing everything! You won’t need the storage locker until you REALLY need it. It’s a safety net for you so you don’t have to set this up while you’re not thinking clearly during a purge moment.
What have you found works for you?
Can you relate to the cycles of dressing? Have you purged? Do you have some way to avoid the expense of replacing everything when you want to dress again? I’d like to hear all about it!
Purging is pox to all of us CDs. You purge and then regret and then you buy new clothes and feel guilty about that. In my case I am not married so the guilt does not affect me nearly as much as a CD with a spouse, still I spend a good deal of my income on my femme side. I am always experiencing a bit of buyers regret. Telling myself that I really should not be so frivolous with my money.
Really yvonne? But this is WHO YOU ARE! Right? Isn’t that what money is for? Can you tell Me more about what you’re feeling?
I know that is what money is for lol, but I do tend to buy very formal clothes and they are not something you see everyday on the street lol! You have seen pictures of my closet. It even astounds me sometimes 🙂
YES! That is what money if for! 🙂 As a matter of fact, I do think work should support LIFE….after all, what in the world is work FOR except to support your life and crossdressing is a huge part of your life! 🙂
So true!! Why else do we work? To make our lives better, eat well and have a few toys 🙂 guilt BEGONE!!
GOOD GIRL yvonne! There’s no reason for guilt…..guilt and shame is just not a valuable emotion. AND you have absolutely NO reason to be guilty!
Ms. Olivia, You bring up an excellent point , i have purged several times in my life and each time i thought that “phase” of my life was done only to have the urges come back even stronger weeks or months later. Not only did i discard my clothes each time but also my considerable collection of toys i had accumulated.
When i mentioned this to my Mistress, She had me get a storage locker but instead of just using it for a safety net She had me turn it into a closet. i now have a 6′ x 8′ storage unit in a heated facility that i can access year round. i have a portable closet set up in it to hang up my tops and skirts and stacks of rubbermaid type containers to organize my shoes, panties, bras, stockings and all my various toys. Mistress also had me get a train case for all my makeup to keep there as well. So i no longer have to worry about hiding things and i can go in and easily find what i need to take wherever i am going to use them.
i now have the largest collection of this i have ever had- all secure and neatly organized.
i would also like to add that since i found my ideal Mistress (Ms. Claire) i have never had the urge to purge and with Her advice, guidance and gentle prodding have bee able to fully express all of my urges and accomplish things i never thought possible.
Thank you so much for your comment jolene and I loved Ms Claire’s suggestion that you set up your storage locker as a dull dressing room! That makes the idea so much better! Not only do you avoid the crossdresser purging problem but you also have your own girly girl space! And, every girl needs her own space! I still remember being part of your collaring ceremony that I’m so touched that you keep in touch with blog comments and such 🙂 You are VERY special!
Hi. I have purged only once and I will never purge again! Most of what I purged was kinky fantasy wear and now I only have real women’s clothing. It’s an evolving thing.
I experimented with (various things). But I am more of a true transgender lifestyle person instead of someone who does fantasy roleplay.
To each their own. 🙂
~smiles~ at Jenni! I agree with you Jenni! You ARE female! I relate to you fully as a girlfriend and I’ve never gotten any kind of a male *vibe* from you so it is lifestyle with you! Now, let Me also say that one of your biggest strengths as a woman is that you ARE adventurous and open to new things! You KNOW how much I adore and appreciate that! I’m ALL for experimenting with kinks and kinky stuff…after all, how do you know whether you like something unless you TRY it! ~grinz~ Oh yes, I’ve experimented a lot! That’s why I’m the Experienced Mistress….after all, *research* is a good thing! ~grinz~ Hugs and kisses, sweet girl!
Perhaps purging is the end of it for a few. But for most of us, our feminine sides and our desires are truly a part of who we are and who we need to be. It goes beyond a sexual game, it is a basic truth. i do love my femininity and it draws me ever closer, the moth to the flame.
So what is the problem? Pretty clearly it is the social stigma, our relationships with friends, family and the genetic women in our lives. The risk of what can be lost. For me i long ago left behind any sense of guilt or embarrassment for myself. i don’t ever feel the need to “reform” because i think badly of myself. Rather i do think of the disappointment, disapproval, loss of status, respect etc, that could come my way from people who are very important to me. . The cost could be high. Either way. To lose this reality of myself or to have to deal with all of the social implications. So,i have purged in the past. There are a few outfits that i would looove to have back ( i looked fabulous, or felt so comfy) . And i would love to have my closet unabashedly full of all of my feminine items. i don’t know if i will ever get there. Maybe a bit at at a time. But still, i agree, avoid the purge. The truth comes back. i try to find ways to embrace it. My femininity is more than my outfits, it is a wonderful way of being that i can express in many ways. My office with feminine touches, using a coffee cup decorated with pretty flowers, scented body lotion each day, a little more body hair removed, manicured and polished nails, cooking and cleaning, spending more time in girl talk and less in guy talk (e.g clear the table, clean up, visit with the women. Who cares about all those tools when there are other women to visit with, a bit of gossip to share) ), noticing fashions, a bit more color and shape in my outfits when in male mode and so on. A storage container seems a much better idea than purging when the notion “is upon you. i know my feminine self will be back and i don’t want it to go away. Sounds like Jlene has a good approach going.
I agree susan! Thank you so much for your comment! These are REAL ISSUES that people face….and it’s always better to face things inside of a community that understands that inside of a ‘hostile’ environment. You’re right about the social stigma….and while I think it’s important to be who you really ARE, that other side of you is also who you are so that’s why I always caution, caution. Know what I mean? I love your ideas and solutions that allow you to have (and BE) both!