I have a biased perspective on BDSM, kink, fetish and sex. My career as a sex worker who is polyamorous and active in the fetish scene means I enjoy a lot of things that most people have never heard of. Still, I think it’s always interesting to see how my likes stack up against other people’s preferences.Hence my question to see if you have these popular kinks.
Kink versus Fetish
I often use the words kink and fetish interchangeably but they are different. A kink is something that is optional but adds to the experience. A fetish must be present for someone to experience pleasure.
“Fetish falls outside typical boundaries of what society has deemed ‘normal sexual activity.” That makes me want to know what is considered ‘normal’ sexual activity and who gets to decide that. I think I should be on that peer review panel. We would have a lot more fun researching sexual activity and the “normal” moniker will expand.
Who likes what, sexually, in each state
If you know me, you know I identify as a nerd. I like research. I like learning things. Just imagine my glee when I found this juicy report that includes an interactive map of google searches for kink or fetish terms!
This shows the number of searches per 10,000 people so you’re not comparing a small population state with one that has a lot of people. That said, check this out!
Strapons and pegging
Texas is THIRD in strapon searches – I could say something about being fucked in the ass but I will refrain. (Don’t get huffy, I love the desert Southwest.) If you’re in Texas I know we’ll get a big ‘boy howdy’ from you when you listen to the podcast episode called, Strapon Sex from a Woman’s Point of View.
While you’re on spotify, check out the rest of the topics on our BDSM, kink and fetish themed podcast, The Weekly Hot Spot. Ms Erika and I are the hosts.
Ms Scarlet joined us for the episode on how women feel about strapon sex and wow this was a fun conversation!
Most lists for popular kinks or fetishes list BDSM in the top five. Remember, BDSM is a wide spectrum of behaviors – it isn’t one size fits all. People are drawn to BDSM for a variety of reasons. For some, it’s a chance to be someone and do something that is very different from the day to day life. The appeal of taboo cannot be overstated. Some, like me, love sensation play. For others, it may be the only chance to explore gender roles of sexuality.
The B in BDSM is for bondage
Going back to our state map, I wanted to see what people in Utah were searching. Guess what? Utah leads the country in searches for bondage – I don’t even want to think about what this means.
The M in BDSM is for Masochism
I wonder if BDSM tends to be at the top of kink/fetish lists because it includes so many activities. Let’s see which state leads the country in searches for masochism. Oh look! It’s Washington DC – which makes sense if you think about it.
Pussy licking in New York state
My state, New York, is generally within the top five for all the popular kinks — but it’s not even in the top 10 for searches for cunnilingus meaning people here are either experts or they don’t know and don’t care.
On the other hand, we’re number 4 in searches about sadism. Femdom wasn’t a category I found so I can only speculate that the women became sadists because of poor pussy licking.
There are lots more kinks and fetishes (you know that) but I’ll stop here for now. Your questions:
- What is your favorite kink or fetish?
- How are YOU pussy licking skills?
I can’t wait to read your answers or talk with you when you dial 1-800-601-6975.
Your Experienced Mistress,
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My favourite fetish is chastity and I couldn’t be happier doing it with you!
The little I’ve licked pussy I haven’t had any complaints
You are being WAYYYYYY too modest about your pussy licking skills !
You are an elite pussy licker!
With that skill, I might never let you out of chastity – grins – you might end up pussy free for life!
My favorite thing is to also be in chastity to my owner (Empress Lilly) and suck large cocks and be as feminine as possible.
And you have LOVELY lingerie Jizelle AND AND AND you are the BEST cocksucker!
Empress Lilly has such a good sissy!
Well you know what my fetishes are better than most. The questions are which, anal play or sounding, are a fetish out a kink? What do you think mistress?
Hmmmmm good question! I’m kinda thinking that anal play and sounding are kinks….although as you read/heard I do often use the words interchangeably.
How are you?
Happy New Year ya kinky friend!
I’m doing well Mistress, thanks for asking.
That’s fantastic !!!
Hi Mistress Olivia, Very interesting post. I don’t know if mine would be considered a kink or a fetish but it is weird. My kink is to do a 2-4 hour call. On my call the phone is left alone usually in the room that the Mistress takes calls in with the door closed of course and the lights off. the Mistress does what she wants the entire call. All i hear on the entire call is the two minute chime at the end of the call.
So you call her and she puts the phone in another room and then takes OTHER calls?
Is that right?
Mistress Olivia, I don’t even know if it is possible for her to take other calls while i am being ignored. That hasn’t happened yet. She has watched Yellowstone,went out to eat, and relaxed by her pool all the while i hear nothing for up to 4 hours.
NICEEEEEE for you both!
She talked about her love for Yellowstone!
Once baseball season starts, I want an ignore call while watching the game hahahahahahaha you’ll hear me shouting at the tv if there’s a bondheaded play!
I am going to surrender to you as soon as I can Mistress Olivia, full reveal on cam Superior Dominatrix Olivia. Yes ma’am, yes.
What is your favorite kink or fetish? CUM EATING!
How are YOU pussy licking skills? I hope I am really good at it. I don’t get complaints even though I know there is always room for improvement. Certainly it helps when a woman isn’t afraid to flat out say what SHE NEEDS to make it better. Long Live the Clitorous!
You may remember my fetish cum eating which is taboo so it (currently) falls outside of what society calls ‘normal’. That in itself is part of the turn-on so if you get on that panel try NOT to ‘normalize’ cum eating, of MY OWN CUM. 😉
Having my mouth full of female cum is a different story though. Normal is good. I want a women to squirt and fill it without worrying it’s NOT normal. I am a filling station and, literally, if I had to choose ONLY ONE sexual act or pleasure I could do the rest of my life I would hands down choose ‘servicing’ a women, including drinking a glass full of ‘her’ 😉 I love drinking cum, and getting it in the face, and licking it up and, well, you know…
My kinks in eating my own cum for you wonderful LDW Mistresses have expanded and they definitely add to the pleasure, both mine and mistresses as you’ll see!
Is the chart your state or a national poll?
And BTW, nerdy is good. Women who research are smart and I love a smart woman!
I think you are right BDSM is at the top of the list because it is so varied. Utah, ha ha, the Mormon state. That could be why. I wonder if Maines most searched is nipple pinching, by lobsters.
Yes, there is a lot left off the list but it is a search list. I suppose very specific searches are fewer so they won’t register on a list like that.
What do I like from THAT list? (for research purposes of course. Your research of me so when I call… oh, you’ll already know what to do. You’re smart.)
Face Sitting (pussy)
Degradation (more than just Humiliation)
Dirty Talking (duh!)
Damn! I had to look up 3 of those on the list!
I’ll just round out my list. Of course some are on that list in the form of other words but I’ll specifisize. 😉
Cum Pouring (on my face, over my head. Ask Mistress Erika and a few others)
Cum face dipping (Ask Mistress Erika and a few others)
Cum Food/recipes (Ask Mistress Delia especially)
Cum Play/experimenting (Ask Mistress Erika and a few others)
Cum Cube Bobbing (Ask Mistress Brighton!)
Mouth-open Cum Facial
Melon/Food Fucking (Ask Mistress Brighton! SHE did it to me!)(a form of Sploshing with out the sticky mess although I like being a total sticky mess in cum)
Being called names (dirty talking?)
I’m sure I left something out.
This is a fabulous list !!!
I, of course, approve every bit of it !
Oh and I do think humiliation / degradation is different from dirty talk — don’t you?
Oh yes, humiliation and degradation is different from dirty talk. There is some overlap but it moves on a different line. The two themselves are similar but different animals and I love them both from my Mistresses because I say “YES” to female supremacy!
The degradation, which is a little deeper down the rabbit hole came later for me, after calling for so long and feeling that trust in my Mistresses to FULLY SURRENDER to them.
I am glad you “approve every bit of it !” I will be fully surrendering to you solo Mistress Olivia, again, and… I think at some point I will have to do a two mistress call with you and your podcast buddy mistress Erika.
Ms Erika and I LOVE doing 2 Mistress calls — you can tell from the podcast that we play off one another really well. I’ve had 2 Mistress call where the other lady I weren’t on the same page and it’s awkward at best. We play WELL together and even egg on/inspire one another.
surrender …. fully surrender!
Then I look forward to waving the white flag to you both but STILL getting worked over and ending up with ‘egg’ on my face!
By the time we actually get together you’re likely to have a cup of cum!
Hi Ms Olivia. Why would cunnilingus be on the list? Seems like a perfectly normal desire. Then, why is fellatio absent. Sounds like double standard. Had cupping done during a feminization session….(had to wear a baggy t-shirt for a couple days…seeing as how I never owned a training bra!😄)
So then, can’t I call my crossdressing a kink? If not I guess I will have to fall back on the strap on…tee hee, and go with pegging. I know you’d get behind me on that Ms Olivia!
That’s a really good question lil peg!
I see a bunch of stuff on that list that falls into my totally normal activities.
You had cupping? Isn’t that fun? What did you think/feel?
Ahhhh, lil peg likes PEGGING? Whoda thunk?
Oh my…cupping! It was different. I stooped in at Lady R’s (a regular at the time) on my way home from work for playtime. It was a beautiful May afternoon.
Typical weather, jacket in the morning…shirtsleeves in the afternoon.
After my cupping I had the cutest little pair of boobs!🤭
After the session? Dang! I still got knockers and I gotta go on public transit and go home!
Not so fun!😂
About 80F….jacket on, very warm.
As I said above, I wore a lost t shirt for that day and the next.
(But I keep sneaking peeks at my “”little buds” in the mirror!). Could have used the “Mansierre”
hahahahaha that’s a great point about cupping – it does last for a bit — part of the thrill for me!
Yes…be forewarned gurls…for those who’ve never cupped, it may be wise to have some “alone time” if the situation allows.
Ms Olivia, reminds of the penis pump I bought…now that’s an amusing anecdote!
And oh that penis pump can be wicked -==-=- and depending on the person wicked FUN.
OK, I always say that I have a few fetishes but I think they are really kinks. I love being submissive, ass worship, foot worship, golden showers and cock sucking, but those are all really kinks since I don’t NEED them to get off or even excited. I’ve always said that I have an insatiable foot fetish but it’s still really just a kink although an extremely major one for me.
That said, I do believe the cum eating has become a true fetish! It’s so much a part of my life that I can’t even comprehend the thought of not doing it.
BTW, it’s been more than a year since we last talked (way too long). I have so very much to tell you and I miss you so very very much!
I miss you like crazy too Michael! Do you hear the podcast I do with Ms Erika? We often talk about you on The Weekly Hot Spot! I want a report on everything!!!
LOL – I want, so very much, to give you that report on everything!!! 😀
I did hear the recent podcast on cum eating. I have listened to a couple others as well but that is the only one that I heard you talking about me (Such an honor!). Are there any others that you remember?
I do disagree with something that Mistress Hunter said though. She stated something to the effect that there is some humiliation in every submissive act. She is probably right about most cases but not all. As you know I’m not into humiliation, yet I engage in many acts that some would consider humiliating if not degrading. However, I do them because I absolutely LOVE them and… I don’t consider it humiliating to do things that I enjoy doing so very much!
You know I adore you! There have been a couple of times where I just missed being able to do a call with you. Agonizing!
What a great point! I agree. I don’t think every submissive act is humiliating at all — and I’ll go even farther. I think that submission often requires a huge amount of strength and pride. Ohhhhh noooooo on missing one another!
I fetish is having a panty and garter dress up time and then having a Mistress instruct me on how to prevent premature ejaculation by using a silicone vagina, inserting my penis until I cum. She is like a teacher, loving mother.
Until I met you I’d never thought of PE as a fetish — but after talking with you it makes sense and truthfully pretty much ANYTHING can end up a fetish I do know that!
Oooooh i like quiet a few of these things, twirlllllllllllllll
Why yes you do lil sissy!