The phone sex caller and communication
I take our phone sex fantasy exploration very seriously. There are many reasons why someone calls a phone sex line. I try to do everything in my power to make sure you have an amazing phone sex call and we have a long term phone sex relationship. The key word there is relationship … like face to face relationships, phone sex needs both parties to communicate needs, desires, limits, etc so we can both be on the same page.
Coming back to Ms Olivia
I know most phone sex callers like variety! LDW Group has new Mistresses all the time and I like when you explore with other Mistresses here.
Submissive or not, you need to communicate with Mistress
I got an email from someone who I considered a cherished submissive. Here I thought things were going great. She communicated what she wanted, I checked to make sure I understood and we began our phone sex relationship. I went out of my way to give her extra attention and after each phone call she would send an email …. this is the last email I got before the one you’ll see below:
i wanted to thank You for speaking with me today and wanted to reiterate how comfortable You make me feel when We/we speak and how wonderful and calming it is to speak with someone who knows my “secret”. i think You are a nice person.Thank You.
Abrupt end to the relationship
“I have not heard from you in over a month so will assume you do do not wish to speak with me. Thank you for the time we shared.”
Restarting the phone sex relationship
We/we spoke for quite some time several years ago. i stopped because i wasn’t liking the direction the calls were going. i know i should have said something, but considering myself a submissive, didn’t feel it was my place to ask You to change.
I feel this is only way for me to express myself. You’ve mentioned I must be very careful with my fetish in real world. Your right. I keep it to myself as it’s best way. I haven’t call you in long time as I had financial difficulties. But I have this finally taken care of and plan to start calling back this week. I like variety other mistresses are so hot and sexy to turn down. Phone sex is best way to get off as it’s safe inside your own home. I hope you will take me back. You and Ms Violet and I are the original 3sum. But MsAudrey/Ms Cindy/Ms Melanie/Ms Tia/Ms Sophia and Ms Delia have corced feminized me and even want to start keeping me dressed and in chastity. I can’t protest or fight it anymore. Wearing women’s clothes is so much better then wearing guy clothes as well as the satin/silk lingerie against my soft, girlish smooth waxed skin. I want and need you and the other mistresses to Corce feminize me all the time:(
*nods* I totally understand peter! Yes, we’ve talked about your trying to make sales clerks or vanilla girls into feminization Mistresses and I strongly suggest you don’t do that. ~laughs~ In ANY fetish play there needs to be consent from both parties. There is a Canadian radio host who tried to use a BDsm defence for his sexual behavior and is now ruined as more and more women come forward to talk about his “creepy” sexual behavior. It remains to be seen if charges will be filed … but the “creepy and unconsensual” moniker is now there publicly for good. Do NOT be this guy! Just saying.
No way–I won’t be that guy! Not worth it. If I want to get off I’ll do it at home calling you or the other mistresses. That’s only way.
No no, peter, I’m not saying that phone sex or calling me is the only option. There are other appropriate ways to find someone who is into your kink. Those ways are hit or miss, will require time and effort, BUT it’s possible. I think phone sex is a fantastic option for many because one of the Mistresses here will KNOW what to do with you and how. In that sense, you exchange your money for a guarantee. With the in person fetish partner search you exchange you TIME/effort for someone that may or may not work out to what you need. That is the nature of the search for relationships that fit. The point that I was making was that trying to fit someone who does NOT consent to be part of an erotic scene is risky and we’re seeing those risks played out in Canada.
Dear Ms. Olivia….I’ve known you for a few years now (at least 3yrs or so). I’ve enjoyed experiences with both you and some of the other Mistresses here at LDW. All of them have made my days, and my world, a better and sexier place in their own unique ways! You especially so Ms. O!!
I’m now happily serving Mistress Constance. I hope to be lucky enough to do as long she deems me worthy be hers. But, Mistress and I also had a hiatus of a few months, where we stayed in contact as friends. So, I think I know of what you speak here.
As for the person who waited to hear back and was put off you didn’t respond, or the other who didn’t tell you about their desires, I feel that, sub or not, both parties in a D/s relationship…….or any relationship… need to take responsibility for their own needs and communicate them. These subs failed to do that.
I think it is ultimately their fault, not yours, that things didn’t work. Life is full of real time woes and distractions. In my opinion, they each should’ve written or called before things went sour. I know you would have been there for them. In the end though, we all bear responsibility for our own happiness.
Now, if a sub IS communicating with his Mistress, and she ignores those wishes, and doesn’t communicate or respond back. That is indifference and a lack of respect. All relationships require respect…. Even (or maybe especially) if the subbie is happily kissing your toosh 🙂
Of course, a Mistress (or sub for that matter) isn’t be expected to do exactly hat the other party wishes just because the other desires it. The Mistress is in control. But, if those wishes aren’t respected ,recognized, or at least discussed, then there really isn’t a relationship worthy of the name, even in the D/s world.
Let me just finish by saying I personally think you’re a wonderful Mistress, person and communicator! My only criticism is that you might be too perfect! LOL There are so many reasons to be nuts about you! I can’t begin to count them….and looks are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
But sometimes relationships end, sometimes they change and….sometimes they take a break. I don’t think we can have any real expectations in life of what tomorrow holds, even with those we hold the most dear, let alone people we meet here in LDW. Just, know as healthy as it is to question things…I don’t think you needn’t worry on this count!
Sorry for the confusion there Mike …. the emails came from the SAME PERSON. Last email before the abrupt end was all about how happy she was with the sessions, absolutely NO HINT that she wasn’t happy. Then, to come back 2 years later and say, I abruptly left because I wasn’t happy? Hmmmmmmm. Not sure I buy that. I’m totally cool with switching or trying a new Mistress …. but damn don’t tell me (~laughs~ that sounds pretty arrogant which I’m not, I’m just into uber clear communication, customer service and I have a fucking great reputation and call volume that backs that up).
Actually, your comment about our mutual dear friend Ms Constance has me thinking of an audio I have had bouncing around in my head for some time now. An audio simply entitled Ode to Ms Constance. ~laughs~ I go back and forth on whether to do that because sheesh I don’t want to sound weird or creepy …. but I’m telling you (and YOU know) Ms Constance is rock solid amazing!
OMG……I laughed when you said my communication might be too perfect! I have a story about that. I’m debating about whether to turn that story into a blog post … I don’t want to come across like I’m a bitch (in a bad way) with too many phone sex reality posts. ~laughs~ Ya know? But, sometimes …. well, I am only human … a human with amazing tits sure, but if you look up these eyes sometimes get frustrated/sad/hurt/upset by treatment. Actually, that’s when I take a break so when I come back I can be at my sexy best with some of the greatest guys and gals on our sexy planet!
After getting to know you as I do,why anyone would leave you is beyond me. You are the most beautiful, caring, considerate and accommodating Owner ever. I am proud to be known as your Sissy Cocksucker and your friend.
~laughs~ Oh honey, thank you. And people leave or take breaks for a variety of reasons. I’ve had one caller leave to get married and then come back after a divorce! Some are away for a time for health or wealth reasons. Some have work pressures or even natural disasters. So, I sure totally understand about the variety of reasons. What is offputting to me is leaving and then showing back up and saying I didn’t like it. ALL relationship are based on communication. If both parties have a failure to communicate then what would possibly be different over the passage of time.
YOU sissy kellie are very clear in your communication, your wonderful obedience to your sissy instructions and ….. damn sissy, you have the BEST cocksucking lips EVER! ~grinz~
I remember first talking with you 🙂 Never mind how many years lol! The first call was probably like most first calls, a feeling out process. Now we have such a strong connection and I feel that you are just my bestests girlfriend 🙂 Talking about planning the wedding and shopping for all sorts of fabulous things is so much fun. Throw in a bit of kink and I think both our days are made 🙂 I think in all the years I have been with LDW I have spoken with 3 Mistresses. Right now you are the only one of the present group that I have spoken with. I have been emailing with Ms Catherine a bit. British ladies, well lets just say I have a soft spot. Years ago I had friend I met in a chatroom and she was from Scotland. We actually took turns calling each other overseas long distance, wow what a phone bill. She did a bit of domination on the side of her nursing job. We had a great time talking to one another. I used to dress and get on cam for her to 🙂 She loved that I was so taken with all things wedding. Somewhere along the line we lost contact. I miss her. LDW has helped me out greatly with being able to talk to someone about my special hobby.
WOW yvonne! I didn’t know you were into that level of pain play! ~grinz~ Really? Caning and such? WOW and WOW I’m so glad you left a comment because I learn things all the time. I adore Ms Catherine she has such wicked Mistress ways and really excells at pain play ….. and there’s something about such naughty words coming out with that lovely plummy accent! ~laughs~ I’m so glad you’ve found another connection that makes you happy. I, of course, adore shopping with you and planning the bridal shower, wedding and ohhhhhhh your choice of the honeymoon location ~swoons~
I kind of voiced my concern about the pain thing, but I used the wrong terminology. I am really not into that. You know me I am a good girl 🙂 I take to feminization like a fish to water 🙂
~luaghs~ Well, you know yvonne sometimes a good girl DOES need a good spanking … or in Ms Catherine’s case a caning! ~grinz~ So, who knows! I’ll tell you she has this audio the Cock Whisperer in the Tease Mania audio files that is AMAZING! Have FUN! ~smiles~
I too feel that communication is most important. As I explained at the time time that I pulled away/moved on(?), my feelings for you were becoming too intense, and I guess it scared me, to put it simply.
The time that I spent with you absolutely changed my life, as I have told you since then. I continue exploring.
It is because of you that I can embrace my submissive pain-loving self and I am forever grateful.
You have been a wonderful gift in my life. And it’s great that we can still keep in touch from time to time.
Oh VB you are absolutely one of the ones that did it ‘right’ in the sense of communication! AND I’m always soooooo thrilled to hear from you and (now from a distance) be a part of your erotic journey! I’m proud I had a hand (and so much more) in that! ~grinz~ You will always be welcome in any form you show up because I have a very special place in my heart for you. I’m thinking of a variety of people who have ‘left’ over the years, one man got married and I got to “coach” him through the romance of his special woman, now wife! Another man was calling to find out HOW to find the fetish community and to have serious conversations about sex and sexuality because the emotional aftermath of a divorce had left him shaken and unsure. These relationships don’t have to be ongoing in the same manner to stay constant on either side. But, there is a way to go about it with grace and hmmmmmm, not sure what word I’m looking for here …..
I’m SO GLAD that you keep in touch …. I’ll admit, I would love to be a fly on the wall and am always curious about what’s going on in your world!
Olivia, you are the best, but sometimes schedule and finances dictate the frequency of calls. Certainly you know how to push my buttons better than any other LDW mistress. I have talked with a few others over the years, but I always come back to the best.
So I guess I would say that I never really leave. It’s more like a leave of absence. Usually the only reason I stray is convenience. There are days when I have time and opportunity, but it does not align with your schedule or you are busy on a very long call (not surprising given how talented you are).
But, yes, I suppose I expect you to pick up right where we left off when I finally do get a chance to talk with you. Of course you always ask what has transpired in my life in case something has changed significantly.
Awwwww, pch player, that makes me smile and thank you! You nailed the “leave of absence” thing perfectly! In fact, when I changed my hours to early mornings/days exclusively I looked for Mistresses on a later night/overnight schedule that I can recommend and I DO recommend playmates! I’m not sure if I ever gave you suggestions. Some people like the excitement of trying new people and other people like me to give recommendations. Everyone is different.
I’ll tell you a funny story from the beginning of my phone sex days, I started a call beginning where we left off on the previous call and the guy freaked out and hung up! ~laughs~ So, it’s a learning curve of communication and how to communicate with individuals. That’s why I check to see what’s going on in your life or erotic world … it’s just a quick check in to make sure that I’m ON the same page you’re on.
Can I just also say, that’s one fucking HOT page! ~grinz~
Given my home life/work life I don’t call nearly as much as my libido desires, but on an off I do try to participate through posts and contests. Sometimes I’ll break off with a mistress because we’ve run our course. I can’t get more involved, and if we don’t take the relationship (and that is really what it is) further with more calls or new areas to explore, than it doesn’t do anything for either of us. The only other time I’ve stopped contacting a mistress is from embarrassment. Not about a fetish, every LDW mistress (and member) I’ve interacted with has been open and accepting, but instead about my not being able to deliver on a promise. Usually this is arranging calls and failing to deliver.
On coming back to a mistress, if that is what I want, I will test the waters and then try to become engaged again if the interest is there on the mistress’ part.
*nods* LOVED your comment wellspanked (of course I always love your comments LOL you give good comment!). There is something to that ‘relationship has run it’s course’ …. that happens in face to face and distance domination relationship. At the heart of things, it’s all about the relationship no matter the location or style. Oh and yes we ARE open and accepting of alllllll sorts of kinky things! ~grinz~ That’s why we do what we do ~smiles~
Someone wrote to you, ” … considering myself a submissive, didn’t feel it was my place to ask You to change…”
Aw Mistress?, did you fail the mind reading test?
~laughs~ I did! tee hee
Unfortunately mind reading is not part of my super powers. Oh I can come ‘damn close’ to mind reading …. but flat out 100% mind reading perfection? Nah, it doesn’t work that way.
I was surpised by this girls response as I have found you to be very responsive to both blog posts and email. My biggest challenge is having time and privacy to have a call. Since I enjoy dressing up and seem to always have family around limits my ability to call. I too have called others when you are not available, but you are certainly my first choice. With others its just a call, but with you its an sexual fantasy experience. What does scares me is how often I think of you and our
calls. You are the very best!
Ahhhh, Niki thank you! Well, here’s the thing. I think her response had less to do with me and more to do with her perception that passive/aggressive or victim behavior is someone feminine. There are those that have that particular brand of kink. It’s a play on the brat scene in Dominance/submission. And, there are lots of Dominants that enjoy the play: the brat acts up, the Domme disciplines the brat, and so on. It’s actually really intense and fun play … but, it has to be negotiated before hand. There’s a difference between BD/sm brat play and passive/aggressive behavior. It’s a common mistake that people new to D/s make and I try to sort that out but she sent the passive/aggressive email and then stopped emailing (didn’t respond to MY email trying to sort it out). There’s no way to communicate when one person stops communicating. So that’s what happened there.
I love our connection and you know I always encourage variety when I’m not available (otherwise it is too much like the bad parts of real life marriage ~laughs~).
Ohhhhh……really? You think of us and our calls often? Awww, that touches me like you wouldn’t believe. I sure don’t take myself too too seriously BUT I take connections REALLY seriously and sometimes I think I think of special callers too much outside of calls. That makes me feel not so alone that you do the same! THANK YOU m’dear, thank you …. this comment was exactly what I needed to read today. EXACTLY. hugs and kisses and more
Absolutely superb post, Ms. Olivia! Clear and open communication in EVERY kind of relationship is critical to the life and success of the relationship. Every person, regardless of the particular dynamic that exists between themselves and another person, is solely responsible for expressing and explaining their thoughts, ideas, needs, wants, desires, limits, and so on. There is never a situation where you can blame another for not being able to read your mind – and they shouldn’t have to try.
Spot fucking ON Ms Emma Jane! And, let me just leave a *hint* to the guys who read your comments on Experienced Mistress ….. Ms Emma Jane and I will be doing MORE together ….. ~laughs~ EJ, do you hear zippers unzipping all over the cyber world? ~laughs~ I’m not going to say WHAT or WHEN … but regular blog readers know that every year about this time of year I take stock of what’s working and what can be improved. Sooooooooooo …… ~wink wink nudge nudge~ Keep reading, keep communicating and what what happens next …….