Recently, several people have said that they didn’t think I like rought kink or BDSM pain play. WOAH! That’s really good feedback and I realized I haven’t done a blog post about being a lifestyle Mistress who loves painful BDSM play. Not with every person and not all the time but I’ll happily call myself a sensual sadist with the right circumstances and person. What does that mean for you?

BDSM: pleasure and pain 

The Weekly Hot Spot a BDSM, kink, fetish, podcastI do a podcast with Ms Erika called The Weekly Hot Spot. There is a series of episodes about pain and pleasure: Ms Erika and I have a great time; there are stories and laughter. There are also serious conversations and BDSM education about kink.

Femdom phone sex and real BDsm

While the phone sex is billed as fantasy, the BDsm experience is very real. If you’re submissive, pain play can increase your submission AND make your pleasure more intense. I was just talking with someone who said he was convinced he didn’t want anything to do with ballbusting until he tried it. Now, he says the pain gives him an incredible explosive orgasm! 

Experience matters with BDSM pain play

It should matter to you that your Mistress has real life fetish experience. Intense BDSM is high-level fetish play. There will be a conversation before we dive right in. I’ll want to know your experience, limits, privacy concerns, health issues and more. Ms Delia was the host of The Weekly Hot Spot before Ms Erika. Take a listen to this podcast titled: Submissive Guide to Rough Kink. 

In my world, Mistress does not mean bitch.  During a scene, the play can and does look like Mistress is being mean but after the scene there’s a reconnection and an affirmation that the players are close.  Now, this only works well when the players mutually agree on what is a scene, when to play, how to play and how to behave after the scenes. 

Consent also includes Mistress

There are some people who simply want to be abused, controlled or whatever 24/7 and I’m not a match for that person.  That’s not how I am or how I play.  A huge part of my personal fetish journey has been to learn/say my own limits, be gracious about explaining them and then learn what to do with people who keep trying to push my limits.

Remember, you don’t need to be submissive to enjoy pleasure and pain. I actually like to be topped for sensation play and I’m sure not submissive.

Rough play I enjoy:

There are all kinds of things to consider with BDSM. Each person is different, each Mistress has her own ways to play, and each relationship is unique. That said, here are a couple pain ideas that I like. If it’s not on the list, ask me!

  • CBT: cock and ball torment: ball slapping, tying, weights, parachutes, etc.
  • urethral sounding
  • nipple torment
  • self bondage
  • impact play: spanking, caning and wipping.
  • DIY items for kinky play – also called pervertables – wooden spoon, clothespins, chip clips, and more
  • figging and other anal play
  • intense cock control
  • long term chastity

Self knowledge and BDSM

I enjoy adult/adult relationships outside of scenes.  I am not a fan of manipulative neediness or insecurity as a way to get more of my outside session time.  It’s been a journey and this has been one of the biggest lessons for me and has helped me grow as a Domme.

Tell me about your journey and your own lessons in self knowledge.

Your Experienced Mistress,

Ms Olivia