Sissy question
I’m going to return now to the IM chat with the guy who is new to Femdom and new to phone sex. He might be a sissy but then again, maybe not.
This is the very beginning of the IM chat I had with a man in his 20’s. He’s in Europe (English is his second language). He has a live-in girlfriend. He came across the erotic fetish of Female Domination while surfing the internet looking at porn. His girlfriend doesn’t know about his new found sexual desires. Now, he’s talking with the Experienced Mistress. As always, this is posted with his permission, the bold headers are mine.
This Experienced Mistress knows that there are variations to any fetish …. as many variations as there are people! So, I begin to ask questions.
Communication with Mistress
New Guy: Hello Empress Olivia
empress.olivia: hello
New Guy: I was visiting sissy school yesterday.
empress.olivia: yummy !
New Guy: I had a chat with the live help Mistress and she recommended you Empress Olivia
empress.olivia: awwwwww *wink*
empress.olivia: I loves Me some sissies !
((The minute I wrote that I wanted to slap My forehead because I know for a fact that just because a man likes the feel of being in panties, it does not mean he’s a sissy or even a crossdresser. I post My mistake so you know I’m not perfect LOL and can see how I ‘recover’ in the IM Chat.))
First exploration of the feminization fetish world
New Guy: I’m new to this Empress Olivia Have only tried a pair of my girlfriends panties on.
empress.olivia: Did you have questions for Me or would you like to do a session?
New Guy: Well im at work right now and i can’t do a session right now. But im interested in how it works.
New Guy: And do you do other things than sissy training? Im generally interested in female domination and being a submissive.
empress.olivia: Great! We can talk here about how this all works In fact, your questions are perfect and a lot of people have the same questions. Can I take out all the identifiers and your IM name and post this IM chat on My blog?
New Guy: Yes of course Empress Olivia put what name you think fits
New Guy: And please bare with my english Empress Olivia, im from sweden.
empress.olivia: Sure!
empress.olivia: Oh Hi! Ms Molly on the Live Help desk wrote Me that she suggested you contact Me.
empress.olivia: No worries, we have calls from all over the world.
empress.olivia: Btw, I’m reading Henning Mankell right now, in fact.
Mistress questions
empress.olivia: You can do LOTS of things with a Mistress.
empress.olivia: And there are lots of variations to sissy training.
empress.olivia: Do you have an idea of what you like, or would like to try?
New Guy: Yes i understand that there is lots of things.
New Guy: Oh lots of variations. I have no idea what kind of sissy i like or would like to try.
New Guy: Didn’t even know there was diffrent types of sissies.
empress.olivia: Yes!
Types of Feminization play
empress.olivia: Want Me to tell you about the various types of feminization play?
New Guy: Yes that would be lovely Empress Olivia
empress.olivia: I’ll also give you various free sites in our network so you can look to see what gives you the biggest *tingle*
Straight man in panties
empress.olivia: There is the “man in panties” fetish or kink. This may or may not be with erotic humiliation and Domination.
New Guy: That sounds like where i am today Empress Olivia
empress.olivia: This is a straight man (heterosexual) who likes the feel of panties and / or lingerie but considers himself straight sexually. He might or might not call himself a sissy. LOTS of men really like the lace, fabric, tightness of women’s panties. Women really DO have much better lingerie options. LOL
New Guy: I do agree with that Empress Olivia
empress.olivia: have you seen our site FemPhone?
empress.olivia: It’s more about dressing and less about sissy stuff per se.
New Guy: No, i have just seen Sissy School and Suck Patrol that was linked from sissy school.
empress.olivia: What is it for you? ….
empress.olivia: The panties themselves…..being feminized…..the naughtiness …. the humiliation …. all of the above?
New Guy: I think i like all four of those Empress Olivia
New Guy: not sure about being feminized though.
empress.olivia: *nods*
empress.olivia: so, it’s the panties and the humiliation that are the *real* triggers?
New Guy: Yes i believe so
WHERE does this go? In the coming days you’ll see how I question him to begin to clarify his new desires. I also will tell him about how phone sex works and what happens when he calls LDW. You’ll see what I suggest he say when he calls Dispatch to ask for a Mistress. At the end of this series you’ll also find out whether he called and who he talked with.
Here are various questions for you. What was your first phone sex call like? Were you nervous and scared? Excited? Did you try and find out the lay of the land (so to speak) before the call? Tell Me, please…*wink*.
Also, have you worn panties? What do you call yourself? What is it about the panties for you?
LOL…..or, pshaw, just say any ole thing you’d like on the blog, you know I’ll write you back 🙂
First time I ever called I kinda had no clue what I was doing, lol. But as phone calls continued, it was fun then she started telling me to buy panties and such. I was like ok. And more and bigger toys, lol. I don’t think the word sissy was really ever mentioned thou. Then I found this site looking for a chat room. Sissy school came up. I don’t know if I do consider myself a sissy or not, but the lingerie selection is way better than men’s lol. But I do like baseball, football, basketball and golf, lol.
~laughs~ you’re soooooo right Tiffy! LOL Although there IS a penis friendly version of the Sex in the City pearl thong. Personally I like the original pearl thong … better then some of the other brands. I think sissy is simply a catchall starting phrase and before any phone sex call, I always double check! And, I do know you like sports…..you’re one of the very few (like Me and DCMike) who LIKE minor league baseball! LOL
Hi MsOlivia. Once again, thanks to You and the IM-er here for an interesting conversation. I’d have to say that it does make me think about my own likes and dislikes, not dissimilar from the discussion about the 24/7 couple You described.
I know many of the chatters and people here are sissies and that’s absolutely fine with me though it is not my thing. I have tried panties on before to see what it would be like but they didn’t do anything for me. (I was willing to try new things though. :)) I’ve also tried it as putting on a partner’s panties while being umm, intimate, but that did nothing for her either so I haven’t since.
I don’t think wearing panties makes one a sissy but I think it may if the desire to wear them is there. Maybe. I’m not a sissy and so I do not want to speak for them, or even assume there is only one way or one thought process. I do think it would be totally hot for a Domme to make me wear Her panties to work as a way of letting me know who’s in charge. Not for humiliation since no one else would know though. That’s not sissy though in my opinion, just a way of ceding control. (Others may disagree, and that’s fine too.)
EXACTLY !!! Ding, ding, ding for magnus !
Just because a man is in panties does NOT mean he wants to be any part of feminine. It can the physical representation of the Power Exchange …. a way to take the mental transfer of control to a physical level.
That’s the same for anything in the physical realm, it stems from the mental play at hand. Now, the ACTIONS might even look the same, but during fetish sex play it’s about what happening energetically in the scene.
For example, my guy always asks if I want something to drink when we’re hanging out and if I say yes, he brings it to me. That’s not submissive behavior, that’s him being a sweetie. BUT, during a scene that exact behavior can be very hot doing it as ‘submissive service.’
Oh wait, here’s a feet example just for you magnus. I love love love love foot play. And, when we’re on the couch just hanging out, watching movies or sports, My feet are generally in My guy’s lap …. he’s lovin’ on them but it’s not sexy foot fetish stuff, it’s intimate lovers connecting. The same actions (and then more) on My feet can and are used as part of an over the top HOT scene ….. *wink* ….. careful, keyboards are soooooooooo hard to clean, don’t you think? ~laughs~ and runs out of the room!
LOL, MsOlivia, this is why I scotch-guarded by keyboard years ago. And ohhhhh, that’s a good thing right about now. 🙂
Since this is primarily a post about wearing panties and what they do, I don’t want to digress here too much, but you did just make me think about many other physical manifestations of play and power exchange. I’ll save those for another time, but you’re so right on the mental.
wait wait magnus ….. feel free to digress! One of the things I like about these comments and My replies is the growth of the conversation. Oh WAIT, that’s why you scotch-guarded your keyboard. ~laugh~
Seriously, I’m curious. What are you thinking about? I’m want to know your thoughts about other physical manifestations of fetish play and power exchange. Some of that is, I admit, easier in real life kink play but part of the joy of the challenges of phone sex is making that experience ‘real’ to a caller. I bring real life to calls and call creative ‘work arounds’ to real life …. both ‘sides’ of My play merge and are better for it. I know that I do much of this intuitively. This is one of the things I love about reading comments here, you make Me think about things in new and different ways.
So, write! Digress all you want!
MsOlivia, Your wish is my command. 🙂 Commencing digression in 3…2…1….
The physical manifestations that popped into my head were more along the lines of traditional BSDM/fetish things but I was thinking that really, they are still symbols, more or less, in that the submission is what it is all about. Your examples of things that do double duty (to coin a phrase) in their fetish form are still a trigger for what goes on inside onen’s head. And You and I have discussed many times about that the brain is the biggest sex organ there is. My love of sexy feet exists in my head, well, maybe *one* other place as well. 😉
Anyway though, as I have just digressed on my digression, I was thinking of things like collars first. A piece of leather or metal, humiliating to some, a thing of beauty and pride to others. Whatever one feels, the feeling of wearing it is internal. The submission of wearing it is a concept although the collar physically resides upon one’s neck. Depending on a couple’s level of commitment it might show more, i.e. being collared vs. just wearing a collar and being led by it. (Thank you, Scotchguard.) That would be not unlike wearing a wedding ring, itself a phyiscal manifestation of the concept of marriage.
I had also thought about chastity devices. OK, so these also serve a bit more than just a physical reminder of who’s in charge as they would prevent one from release, but that being the case, they are a constance reminder. A sort of bondage always there, but more so, (often) only the wearer and the keyholder know it’s there. Also, barring those heavy duty super expensive models, if someone really wanted to, they could get out of the device. Might take some doing, maybe an embarrassing call to a locksmith, whatever, but I know I myself could get out. But if I were to put it on, I wouldn’t want to get out. Accepting it would be part of my submission and the device a physical part of that, especially, if the lock were just one of those numbered plastic ones. I’d be submitting to someone else controlling me in an oh so intimate way.
So there you have it, MsOlivia, my daily digression. 🙂
fantastic digressions magnus !
BTW, I’m ALL for digressions! You’re right about how being collared or wearing a collar! There are just as many variations as there are styles of collars. These can be anything from purely symbolic and jewelry only (I’m thinking about when a female slave wears an anklet for her Master or Mistress). Or, they can be literal dog collars. Or, the BDsm leather collars with the scene or pet name on it. Such a variety! You know I like variety!
You’re right also about chastity devices. You know, I really should do a whole post about fetish play, orgasm denial and chastity! I have so many blog ideas! LOL That’s in the future though because right now I have the end of the new guy IM……the followup for what happened with Foot Guy and his wife ….. and a lovely post about the difference between amateur kinky sex and Pro Dommes (or in My case, experienced phone sex.) And, now I’m getting a call so I’ll stop there! 🙂
I have worn panties, and at the instruction of an LDW Mistress only worn panties for a while when in chastity however I had no interest being a sissy or a cross dresser. Firstly it does not turm me on but also given my size, shape and being hair look about as femine as a brick wall so find i feel more ridiculus when trying stockings etc.
It therefore does not tick a humiliation kink going down the cross dressing or sissy road, but is just a bit wierd for me. The wearing of panties was different in that is was a symbol of me not being a man as I hard given up control of my cock to a Goddess therefore humiliating, also thrilling when playing sports..he he.
In short, boy shorts are my fav 😉 wearing panties does not make me want to be a sissy but is humiliating, exciting, pleasing for the Mistress and gives me kinky pleasure.
@ marlowecv ~laughs~ I’ve seen you on cam and you’re point about being too *manly* to be a crossdresser is well taken! You really don’t look the slightest bit feminine. *nods*
Thank you so much for explaining how being put in panties works in your sex fantasies. The panties actually become the outward symbol of your submission to Mistress. As you put it, it’s the thrilling combo of giving up control in a very visible way …. not unlike the chastity device. Part of the creativity of phone sex is to know how to create the outward symbols of the inner mental and aural erotic journey.
Remember that fantasy where I was hiking in front of you? My panties just kept flashing you every now and again and finally we stopped ….. I *did* take off My panties but slipped them on you and whispered, “That’s as close to My pussy as you’re going to get. No pussy for you.” *wink* Ah yes, panties can be put to very good use! ~laughs~
What was your first phone sex call like? Were you nervous and scared? Excited? Did you try and find out the lay of the land (so to speak) before the call?
Ms. Olivia, i’ve spoken about Her previously, but the questions take me back. The first call was terrifying, completely spontaneous, and an utter letdown. i got voicemail with stern instructions to leave my name, number. & when i could be reached. it was a “smaller” website many years ago. i did what i was told, went to bed &
on to work the next day. 10 minutes after i got home from work, the phone rang & Her first words were “I own you (coffeeboy)! That was followed by what felt like an eternity of rapid fire questions that only lasted about 10 minutes. i stuttered and stammered through my answers. there was a pause, then She said “you will buy thong panties tomorrow & call me at this time.” with that She hung up. She had my head reeling from the start & nothing on Her webpage prepared me for that call.
Also, have you worn panties? What do you call yourself? What is it about the panties for you?
i guess i gave away the answer to the next question. as for what i call myself, i’d say a highly malleable submissive. the panties remind me who has the control & who is & must be obedient to the extent possible.
Oh MY !! coffeeboy…….woah! Now THAT really is one way to handle a caller new to phone sex. LOL You can see I’m …. ahem …. a little different. At least initially. Once I get a sense of the caller and do sort of a knowledge, health, safety kind of *read* on him I might strap him onto that roller coaster ride and just GO. But, I’d sure feel more responsible if I do the connection first so I begin to map out his edges …. edge play is tons of fun when I dangle you over the edge that I’ve noticed but you think you’re going over into the abyss.
I’m laughing at your description coffeeboy …. *shakes head* … WOAH! You have rendered Me speechless! Trust Me that’s hard to do…and I, like you LOVE to be startled!!! So, thank you dearest …. ~laughs~ now I’ll go get some coffee! THANK YOU so much for your comments and conversation. I LOVE waking up , looking at blog comments and going WOAH! or hmmmmmm or hey, that’s a good point! I really appreciate y’all being willing to be part of this creative conversation here 🙂
She was definitely “unique,” Ms. Olivia. it may have been that particular moment in time and place that made it so effective on me. i’m not sure how i would react to the same approach today, but at that instant in my own mind,i was naked, on my knees, and shivering with the dread of disappointing Her.
& i want to thank You, Ms. Olivia, for using Your blog as such a welcoming safe haven for expression.
@ coffeeboy ….. awww…..all these comments about what a safe haven this blog is and how I’m approachable……seriously I am VERY TOUCHED!
I am the Domme Bitch Mindfuck Mistress in a sessions where that’s appropriate. Cruelty when desired for increased arousal is an amazing technique. AND, I use everything in service of the phone sex scene. (You’ll see some of that in an upcoming IM with a submissive to loves cruel power exchange).
Yet…..I, like you, am multi faceted and believe that the cool down after care is critical to mental health and physical safe care. Any Female Domination play brings up all kinds of emotions and this blog is a welcoming place to take a look at those. THAT, as you can probably tell, is part of My turnon as well! *wink*
it seems to me, Ms. Olivia, that someone who plays in the Femdom or, i guess, any variation of the D/s arena, only for the visceral thrills, is missing so much. its a wonderful vehicle for introspection for both participants. & i love it when You said “…believe that the cool down after care is critical to mental health and physical safe care.” that is precisely the time to contextualize things & begin to evaluate what just happened within the framework of each party’s self-image &, just as important, within the dynamic between the two.
& i agree about “cruelty.” its a great vehicle for “persuading” someone to desperately want what You wanted all along & knew they did to…in their heart of hearts
@ coffeeboy….you are so right about cruelty. It sounds….well….cruel but then again, whipping your lover’s shoulders and ass to a bright red also LOOKS extreme but it is an amazing experience (receiving and giving). The mental cruelty in fetish sex play is an art.
I did an IM chat with someone who loves that mental cruelty play about what he likes and I’ll post that ….. LOL …. I don’t know WHEN I’ll post it……I’ve got several scheduled. But, look for that one as well, I think you’ll like it.
I’m chatty kathy (maybe you’ve noticed) when there’s interesting conversation but the cool down is actually one place where I’m almost totally silent. I’m in My own Domme-space and also coming back down to earth……I need the cool down, snuggle time as much as he does 🙂
I tend to wrap him in a blanket and get him settled. Then go gather My/out toys and put them away quickly. THEN come snuggle and I don’t talk or analyze … I mostly sort of make ‘cooing’ noises. LOL I sound like a friggin dove! It’s sort of soothing noises….I notice I do the same thing on phone sex calls …. it’s like a sound marker for a place where there are no words.
You’re cooing sounds made me think of something that may sound totally unrelated, but please bear with me, Ms. Olivia.
more years ago than i care to think about i was a radioman in the Navy. a large portion of our ship/ship & ship/shore communication was done by teletype. once you established a circuit, you had to maintain a steady stream of modulation to keep the circuit going. for long messages, that usually required cutting paper tape in advance. for less formal, or more immediate communication it required real time typing. Think in terms of a pre-historic IM session. since no one could think and type simultaneously fast enough to keep the circuit live, we could hold down the “letters” and “repeat” keys. this provided the modulation necessary to keep the frequency open without showing up as random garbage on the printer at the other end.
it seems to me that Your cooing does the same thing on a personal level. it keeps communication flowing from You to Your partner without a word spoken.
WOW WOW WOW coffeeboy………..THAT is a fantastic visual! And think about it…..we talk about BDsm in terms of POWER EXCHANGE and talk about the electricity of sex. We talk about the spark of desire. It’s totally energetic! So…….until you NAMED it I didn’t even know that what I was doing was keeping the energy circuit open with sound! I can do that with sound AND physical touch in real life but with phone sex it’s the sound. I even make the sound via what I type during a sexy texting session. Just like you did with teletype circuitry!
In Eastern religions sound is a huge part. Ommmmmm is resonance and specific tonality to *link into* the Universal sound/energy of God/Spirit/Universe.
THANK YOU for the visual……I am very visual and found your comment AMAZING! 🙂
@ adev ….. THANK YOU for posting a comment! I have to laugh because you have some of the best lingerie I’ve seen! You know I (not so secretly) covet that little black number that is My favorite.
You’re a great example of one of the things I like about this dressing option. You’re a manly looking man with a hot cock, so part of the thrill for Me is that there is the visual juxtaposition of the feminine lace on a man’s body. Oh and you do know I think you have a great ass! LOL Yes fellas I can get all shallow and totally in it for the visuals too! I love the tease of seeing a cock bulging up through the sheer fabric of panties or a teddy … knowing that he’s in the outfit because I said, yes I’d like to see you in this or that attire. Visually that just looks so naughty it’s a total and immediate turn on!
*back to our regularly scheduled intellectual discussions of all things kinky and naughty.*
Rarely do I wear them, but when Mistress says put them on, it’s always exciting. Not for the fabric or how pretty they are, but it’s the flipping on of a switch, it’s time to play, I’m hers again. It’s the same as falling to my knees for her. Oh, and buying them, well that’s an embarrassment that will always have my mind spinning.
@ W YES! Panties … putting a man in panties flips a switch in Me too. I like it when I get y’all spinning….your minds and your bodies! The physical and real part of a phone sex call is always a kinky creative challenge and panties are a perfect item for the ‘time to play’ physical, visual, mental cue of ‘it’s time to play.’ THANK YOU so much for leaving your comment!
Hi Mistress Olivia ! I have spoke with you a couple times and I always see that it always starts with if your wearing woman’s panties does that make me a sissy. When I started at 12 what started everything for me was the first time I put on a pair of stockings ,that was the beginning of everything.I have been reading along with your new I.M TOPIC and love the way you go through all different triggers to see what makes a person feel the way they do. I love the way you really care and try helping all of us. Back when I would have a dream a Bi cock sucking dream but I was strait well many years later I had to admit to myself that that was not the case I had a lot more feelings to being Bi then I wanted to tell anyone.But I know everyone is different .Thank you for being here for us.
Hi Jacklin ! Awwww, sweetie thank you so much for your comment. I really DO care! Of course, I want y’all to get the very best phone sex of your life but that’s just the beginning. I also recognize that these are intimate and sensitive topics. A really hot erotic humiliation session can be brutal in the wrong hands. In all of what we do there’s a thin line between pleasure and pain. When playing on the pain side (emotional, mental or physical) it’s important to actually CARE about you. THEN the pain play is in service of a ‘safe’ scene where you get to explore and WE get to create.
Now, you mention cock sucking and bi sexual issues. I know I’ve said this before but I’ll keep saying it……we as a society have *categories* for people that I think are unrealistic. I think that most people are blurred in their sexuality. What do you think?
Ms Olivia, it took me a little while to figure out what you was talking about with that thong, lol, see I’m still clueless on some things haha. But on a side note, I did mention to the girl that works at vs to go to a phillies game and she said yeah we could do that. She didn’t say no, I have a boyfriend which is a good thing, right? Now if and when we go, I wonder if I should wear panties lol.
@ tiffy …. LOL, not you dear…..I realized I sent the link to the female pearl thong! Isn’t that an amazing piece of lingerie jewelry?! Ohhh a date at a ballgame! Do tell 🙂 Seriously, just b/c she works at VS doesn’t mean she’s a Femdom or likes men in panties! But I digress. Any reason to watch live baseball is great!
I LOVE panties. I think in fantasy and on LDW id prefer to call myself a sissy who wants men, not sure I want to in reality. Ummm my first call was kinda wild I had no idea what I was in for haha. I do love panties and I think after toying around with mistresses and getting some experience (NOT ALOT by any means) with phone calls I definitely want to try humiliation as a sissy.
that’s fantastic cassie…..humiliation done right REALLY hits all the buttons! We’ve got some humiliation experts. Hey….. you should check out our humiliation blog humiliation boot camp. You’ll find a VARIETY of humiliation assignments and audios. You can get a ‘feel’ for a Mistress there but remember most of us are multi faceted (I sure am !!) You don’t get a script from Me …. your phone sex call is as unique as you are!
this is one of the beautiful things about participating on Your blog, Ms. Olivia. i hadn’t thought about the “Letters/Repeat” keys in probably 35 years. yet in the moment i read about Your cooing, the analogy was crystal clear…and You got it…and expanded upon it.
and coffeeboy…..I had NEVER thought about it !!
THIS (what happened right there between you and Me) is where the ‘juice’ of BDsm lives…..the creative energy of two people, meeting and then each (in their own way) takes it farther, deeper, higher.
This is the true meaning of the sentiment that two people are stronger together creatively then simply the sum of their individual parts that merge. *Something* happens in the merging that is outside the two people yet also inside. THIS is creative energy. This is one of the main reasons why I say this phone sex world is my avocation as well as My vocation. Personally I think God lives in and is expressed in the space between people … that *gap* that is also the *glue* of Spirit.
DH Lawrence called men the stars and women the spaces between the stars. (Don’t get sidetracked on who should be the star or is ‘more important’. That’s irrelevant.) Here’s the point, without one energy, the other can’t exist. Or, it might *exist* but it isn’t seen or shown off to its best advantage. If it’s daylight you can’t see the stars. And in daylight, obviously you can’t see the night spaces between the stars … *we* live in THAT creative space and get to play there. WOAH BABY !
all kinds of inferences can be made from Lawrence’s analogy & each could well fit different worldviews. i’d hazard that there is no “more important,” as the matter that occupies the space between stars isn’t (to the best of my knowledge) quantifiable…yet. yet, its likely that, while the stars & their attendant planets may be the repository of life, the interstellar matter, simultaneously, shares its origin with & is the source of the stars in the first place…simultaneous sister & mother in Lawrence’s view.
YES coffeeboy…..there IS no “more important” …..every Domme needs her sub and vice versa. It’s mutual!
hey sissy pantyboy i love wairin pantins and im locked in my cb6000 right now
Oh My! Thanks for your comment 🙂