Question about a Pro Domme

I get lots of questions about all sorts of things.  Most issues are in the BDsm and sex fetish arena but I’m an Informatrix (new term from a caller of mine) — we can talk about anything your heart or your dick desires.  After all, it’s phone sex and it’s fun!  (Unless of course you want to be tormented and this Experienced Mistress can do that too! ~laughs~)

These IM chats are about real issues for real men.  So, there really isn’t anything too strange to ask.  There are no limits on what you ask; I’ll manage My end.

Question for Mistress

Now, I do have some boundaries about these free IM Chats.  First, if you want My undivided attention in private or ‘scene’ creation that IS a session.  Second, if I do one of these free IM Chats with you it is with the clear understanding that I will be posting it on My blog.  You ‘can’ change your mind at the end of the free chat and decide I can’t post our IM chat but don’t expect to get another free chat.  🙂  Finally, I don’t IM during a call or sexy texting session.  Within those limits you can ASK anything and you’ll get real consideration and a response.

Background about Pro Domme question

This IM chat is with a man who called as part of his exploration of BDsm and fetish.  He’s interesting to Me because he’s at the beginning of his fetish exploration journey.  He knew he enjoyed various elements of cock control (cock tease and denial) and wanted to find out more.  Our session was amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed it!  He IM’d with a question, here’s part of our chat.  There are other parts and those will follow.

Question about sex professionals

Man:  So bizarre question, or maybe not so, for you…for a “toe in the water” sensation play experience, am I better off in the hands of a sensual escort, or a regular playing amateur?

Ms Olivia:  PERFECT question for My blog.  Want to post it and I’ll answer there?

Man:  sure – will have to post tonight (at work now!)

Ms Olivia:  We can chat here if I can have permission from you to post this IM to My blog.  I do a lot of that and this is a perfect conversation for that.  As always, I’ll take off your IM and take out identifiers…….but, I’d like to post because I get this sort of question.

Man:  sure

Ms Olivia:  GREAT !   So……couple of questions first……Have you been to an escort before?

His escort experience

Man:  yes – more traditional/GFE (girlfriend experience) versions

Ms Olivia:  *nods*   Another question…..did you want to have sex with the escort after play?

Man:  yes

Ms Olivia:  So, double check the laws in your state.  In most (with the exception notably in NV) paying for sex is illegal.  Be aware of possible risks, etc. that you take.  I, obviously, recommend that you stay within the legal limits wherever you are.  THAT said, here’s a difference between Pro Dommes and escorts.

Man:  ok

Pro Domme versus escort

Ms Olivia:  Pro Dommes are primarily into sensation play, Domination/submission, pain play, etc.  They generally do NOT engage in any sex during or after the session.  Escorts on the other hand, know that sex is more than likely part of the deal.  Escorts generally KNOW about BDsm (fetish fashions, play, etc. is part of our pop culture).  If the escort is good at what she does she’s familiar with BDsm in a provider sense and most likely is at various levels of skill with that.  If they are skilled enough they generally become Pro Dommes and leave the escort business.  Skill level often decreases the actual opportunity for sex for you in a paid setting.  LOL  Makes sense?

Fetish doesn’t mean sex

Man:  Yes it does. I think that’s an interesting distinction – dommes are in it for the role, not the sex…I didn’t think of it that way.

Ms Olivia:  *nods*  Exactly……

Man:  on MY end of it, they are linked, but on their end, they are not

Ms Olivia:  I know one man who is on IM right now who went to a strict Domme and a sensual Domme.  Both did paddling and sensation play.  Let Me check with him to see if the sensual one had sex after the play and paddling.

Man:  lol ok

Ms Olivia:  He might have stepped away from his computer…..he’ll back back and if we’re still texting, I’ll get your answer from him.  MY experience is that there are different advantages to all THREE categories depending on what you’re looking for.

Man:  Three?

Ms Olivia:  Sure, Pro Domme, escort (still paid professional) and amateur.

Man:  So the follow up question/post is..what sort of questions can/should I ask to ensure I’m getting the right experience from a Pro Domme or escort?

Ms Olivia:  GREAT folo.  Just a sec the other guy is writing back.

Man:  ok

Another man shares his real life experience

Ms Olivia:  Here’s what he wrote:  “More like an escort doing domme stuff, but in a way that was fine.  I was just happy to find someone to do the kinky stuff, and I had the feeling she enjoyed it.  She didn’t seem inexperienced or awkward at it  was sort of like the fun people at a play party.”

Man: for his end (which sounds similar to mine) might be best for an escort with a domme/sensation play side

Ms Olivia:  *nods*  Yes because a Pro Domme doesn’t do the sex part……although things are usually negotiable and you can always ask.

( …. to be continued ….)

Preview of cumming attractions

This was a long IM chat so I’m posting it as a series.  The next couple of days will bring an exchange about professional sex versus fetish play with an amateur.  There are different advantages to both.  As always I appreciate your comments and questions.  I’d like to begin the conversation about making a distinction between someone who is paid for sex and someone who isn’t.  When you pay for something there’s a different dynamic.  That’s not automatically bad OR good.  Being a customer gives you different options (and benefits) then you get as a romantic partner.  I find that the ‘trouble’ starts when the paid and unpaid distinctions get blurred.  For example, I don’t mind at all when I phone sex caller abruptly hangs up right after orgasm but I sure don’t suggest you do that with a real live woman you’re in an intimate relationship with!  ~laughs~

Ms Olivia