PRIDE month is here. I love the parties, parades, rainbows, joy and, of course, the outrageous outfits.  Identifying as a Femdom is not the same as gender identity or sexual orientation. Being into kinky fun doesn’t automatically mean you are in the LGBTQ+ community or even that you’re an ally.  People are complicated. 

For me, PRIDE Month can be a public place to acknowledge ALL aspects of my identity. This blog is a bit about the diversity in our community, navigating PRIDE as a kinky person while also acknowledging the very real political challenges we still face. 

Why I celebrate PRIDE

I am bisexual. I’ve known that since college and my first visit to a lesbian bar.  If you’re a fan of the BDSM kink podcast that I do with Ms Erika then you might know the story. If you’re not listening to The Weekly Hot Spot, you should; you’ll hear personal stories you won’t hear anywhere else.

So, I’m bisexual and pansexual. Pansexual means I’m attracted to the PERSON rather than merely the gender or sex of my partner. I am also a Femdom and while I don’t wear latex 24/7, that’s part of my identity beyond just the kinky fun.

Remembering why we celebrate PRIDE

It’s important to remember the roots of PRIDE. In 1969, the Stonewall riots marked a turning point in LGBTQ+ activism. The police raid of the Stonewall Inn in New York City sparked protests and demonstrations that lasted for 6 days. While Stonewall is the rallying cry for many in the modern LGBTQ+ movement, the struggle for basic recognition and rights is older.

Navigating Pride as a Kinky Person

PRIDE events are known for being a bit wild, and that’s part of what makes them so great.  While these celebrations are generally accepting and inclusive, it can still be challenging to navigate these spaces as a kinky individual.

Some Pride events may have more conservative organizers. Others may feel too overwhelming or unsafe. It’s important to do your research beforehand and to have a plan in place for how to navigate these spaces. Consider attending events with a supportive group of friends or connecting with local kinky community organizations for guidance and support.

PRIDE and BDSM

The LGBTQ+ community is diverse and multifaceted. We come from different backgrounds, we have different experiences and struggles, and I sure don’t presume to speak for everyone. There are some humiliation scenes where I use language that I would never use outside of the scene.  As you can hear in this podcast episode on Sexual Humiliation there is an art to doing erotic humiliation.  

Gender roles and power dynamics

BDSM is a great place to explore aspects of yourself that you don’t normally get to express. For example, an Alpha Man might come to a Femdom Mistress to be put in his place as she flips societal norms about gender roles.  I know many sissies are Alpha Males in their work/family lives and Distance Domination phone sex is a respite from always being in charge.

Not all trans or gender-nonconforming people are interested in kink. Gender identities should not be fetishized or reduced to a kink preferences.   My dear friend Yvonne went to several BDSM events and didn’t feel comfortable as you can hear in our Interview with a Crossdresser. Wearing panties doesn’t automatically mean you’re trans or a crossdresser or even a sissy. 

You might be an cis male who just likes the feel of panties or wearing panties in order to submit to your Mistress.   

Talk with your Mistress

I talk with many people who use BDSM and kink as a tool for gender exploration and affirmation. 

Our sessions might help you access parts of yourself that are otherwise repressed or that aren’t safe to show in everyday life. We get it.  Gender is complicated. Sex, sexuality and erotic pleasure are complex. 

How will you celebrate PRIDE?

There is no ‘one size fits all’ in the LGBTQ+ or kink communities. It’s important to acknowledge that identities are fluid and multifaceted, especially in the kink world.  Stay safe and have fun at the parties and parades. Remember there are political challenges we still face. 

In the meantime, ALL ORGASMS ARE WELCOME HERE!

Your Experienced Mistress,

Ms Olivia

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