Ms Olivia 1-800-601-6975
Just like with everything, there are degrees of Dominance and submission. Don’t worry if you are new to phone sex or communicating, for the first time, with this Experienced Mistress. There are lots of things to learn and explore. Since yesterday’s post was about the edgy Femdom play of the erotic mindfuck I’m going to backtrack a bit.
Variety of levels of play
There is something joyful about a woman who enjoys sex! *nods* I know! ~laughs~ I’m actually surprised how many people settle for ‘less’ in the erotic pleasure department. My phone sex sessions run the entire range from sensual to strict …. from erotic conversation to intense fetish sex.  You can read My blog to see the variety of things I discuss. I really AM the Experienced Mistress. Don’t worry if you’re new or shy, I will ask you questions to figure out exactly what you want, even if you’re having trouble describing what you want.
You choose the level of play
How often do you feel heard? I mean, REALLY feel heard? In My experience most people don’t listen to what others say. ~laughs~ I am a trained and skilled listener.  Sometimes a caller simply needs someone who listens.  We can talk about anything and everything. I’ve had conversations about sex / sexual issues / sexuality / relationships, job or family issues all the way to non-serious topics like My ‘odd’ wish list, music, current events, travel …. really, anything.
Erotic conversations and sensual roleplay are, of course, very popular. With a phone sex fantasy we can create any kind of scene. Maybe you know what you want or maybe we create together something that is super hot.
Cock control is an amazing thing! Think back to your first experience of something like guided masturbation. It’s totally different when I’m telling you what to do and how to do it. From there we can move to any level of tease and denial. Of course, the ultimate is orgasm denial! LOL You get to choose the levels of play and then I get to create!
Question for you
I’d like to hear from you. Where did you start out and how has your own level of sexual play changed under the guidance of a Mistress? As always, I love your comments and will reply to each and every comment here.
Ms Olivia
personally I think being on the submissive side of a phone sex scene is much easier, and even if limits are pushed it’s emotionally less exposed (not sure that really means what I want). As the submissive in the scene you can just do what you’re told. And on the phone, at least when I first tried, it was very easy because it was only voice.
With webcams it’s a little different, but if you trust the mistress (and LDW does a great job of creating a professional level of trust) then you are willing to go a little outside your comfort zone. It’s still easier than directing the call as the dominant. The dominant one is the driver of where the scene goes. If the submissive does nothing, and is asked to do nothing it’s not their fault.
So to answer the question instead of rambling…I started out with just phone sex and it being very fictional. With the addition of webcams it has become more than that, but there is still a level of detachment that makes pushing boundaries easier than in a personal relationship (personal outside of phone sex).
@ wellspanked …. you bring up a point many people have also said. The issue of how to negotiate any level of fetish play with a real life partner. I did a post about how to talk with your partner about your secret sex desires. Several people talked about liking the *boundaries* between aspects of their life and how it’s actually hotter for them to have the fetish sex in a compartment outside of their primary real life relationship.
I think your point about phone sex is so true. It’s easier to get close to the person on the other end of the phone. Intimacy and communication can be easier because it IS close (literally inside your head). And, then the web cam can add to that spice and push those boundaries (it’s comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time).
As you point out, there’s a detachment via the phone sex connection that doesn’t exist in real life. I’m very clear about the boundaries in this relationship. We don’t meet in real life. I don’t talk with your wife or girlfriend without their permission. The conversations and sex scenes with Me will NOT blow up your life from My end. So, it IS a level of detachment that actually makes the intimacy EASIER!
Again, it’s the backasswards expression of this ‘thing’ we do! ~laughs~
Do you still get a laugh from getting a guy to put some silly women’s clothing like panties and bras or maybe a silky babydoll nighty or have you seen it too often ?
Even Vanilla girls seem to enjoy talking guys into modeling their panties but I’m not sure why, do you know ?
Dear Robbie, THANK YOU so much for leaving a comment and questions! I DO still get a laugh when I seduce a man into wearing panties! I’ve seen a lot of men in lingerie and I think it’s alternately funny, sexy, cute, and more. I get off on your arousal and that little *sting* of erotic humiliation. I think many *vanilla girls* do enjoy that too which is why they might talk a guy into modeling their panties. Of course, with any woman not familiar with Femdom phone sex and/or the art of erotic Domination she might not know what to do next……~laughs~ …. but I sure do!
Ms Olivia…for me phonesex started out as just simple guided masturbation. No webcams…just the mistresses sexy voice guiding my strokes. But much like a drug addict…I have found that over time I have needed to increase the level of gameplay so that I can achieve the same level of “high” or excitement that I use to get from just vanilla phone sex. Toys and web cam have helped do this by adding the ability for the mistress to see me and laugh at the things she makes me do. I find the best calls are the ones that afterwards I find myself saying “I can’t believe I just did that on webcam for the mistress”. The higher it rates on the shame factor usually means I had a really good time during the call and reached that level of “high” that keep me coming back for me.
@ plunger boy …. Sex is part of who we are as people. Addiction is characterized by an inability to control (stop) use despite negative consequences. While there is an element of tolerance to the drug, that alone doesn’t mean addiction. If anyone expresses concern about addiction in terms of alcohol, drugs, phone sex or anything else I have a wealth of information that I share privately. Here at LDW we also have systems in place that are an answer to someone who says they are an addict and want to stop calling.
THAT said, I sense that what you’re talking about is more of getting more in touch with your own needs, limits, desires, etc. When you talk about ratcheting up the gameplay I can relate to that. In order to do any level of kink or fetish edge play you have to, first, define the edge. Once you see that THEN you can dance on the edge for the thrill of it.
Phone sex was edge play for you when you started calling. Now, you’re seeking new experiences. Personally I think that’s normal and healthy. That show growth and evolution in you as a person expressed in your sexuality. It’s kind of like outgrowing a job. It’s scary and challenging when on your first day in a new job and that same job is mundane at some point in the future because you’ve done and experienced all you can from it. That’s not an addiction to jobs LOL that’s the natural growth of any aware individual.
Now, you mentioned sex toys and erotic humiliation on cam. YES !!!! That kind of edge play is so much fun …. the toys and the cam performance are the outwards expressions of the inner experience which is that roller coaster of emotions My guy described on the erotic humiliation post. He said the same thing about the feeling of disbelief and then ….. woah, give me more! 🙂
Thank you so much for writing and I apologize for the delay.
Being instructed to wear panties doesn’t do it for me, HOWEVERbeing told to go commando is a constant arousal and humiliation. If I have my tight jeans on, I get a little bone crushing action too. I always thought that commando was so sexy for women, now I know it is also for men.
yummy on your tummy
hi hank! Going commando is amazing! And, for the person who has a ‘smidge’ of the exhibitionist in them, it’s a totally hot yet ‘safe’ way to begin to explore that with your partner. I love it that you like it too and your tag line made Me ~laugh~ 🙂