Can a phone Mistress be a sex therapist?Where do YOU go to talk about your sexual needs, issues and desires?  There’s lots of porn, kink, fetish and overtly sexual images all over the internet and in society in general.  Think about it!  We have lots of sites for everything from

Think about this: Where do YOU go to talk about your sexual needs, issues and desires?  There’s lots of porn, kink, fetish and overtly sexual images all over the internet and in society in general.  Think about it!  We have lots of sites for everything from crossdressing to vanilla phone sex.  Who do you talk with?

Sex is a hidden

If you’re like most people you talk with yourself about sex (fantasies, issues, desires, concerns, questions, etc.)  You might do research on the internet for something like masturbation and edging but it’s still a conversation with yourself inside your own head.  That’s fine (I like to think and research on the internet too) BUT there is more available when you bring that private conversation into a community.  I think LIFE happens in community so I hope to have a forum for our community conversations about sex.

Mistress gets on twitter …. @MistressOlivia1

I’ve been using this blog as the conversation forum and want to expand that to the twitter-sphere.  My twitter name is:  @MistressOlivia1.  I’m going to make sure that My twitterfeed is predominantly intelligent conversation about sexual topics, issues and insights.  I’m going to make sure you’re not bombarded with ads and irrelevant *stuff* if you choose to follow My tweets.

IM Chat continues

That brings us to the continuation of the IM Chat I had with the caller wanting to bring his Femdom and fetish exploration into real life.  We pick up the IM conversation with his comments about sex therapists.

Man:  I’ve spent time with online sex coaches who have not been nearly as insightful, honest, informative, or educational as you to be frank.

Man:  The “two” i’ve spoken with were almost amateur psychologists in their approach, despite trying to point out the honest sex communication. While I understand there is a clinical aspect to this, the reality is I’m clearly looking for real world based information, guidance, assistance, etc.

As I told you during our chat, after my divorce, when I was so beaten-up about my sexuality and drive, I went to an escort, not a therapist. I neeed the “boots on the ground” approach, not the theoretical approach. That’s not to say that an online sex coach didn’t provide me some tidbits, but it was more like the person was trying to sustain my visits instead of helping me

So one sex coach first had me fill out a psychological profile that I had to submit, then our first session was reviewing that info.  And while there was some benefit and insight to be gained, it should have been a tool instead of the “focus” of the first two sessions.  Meanwhile in these chats and one tremendous phone encounter with you, I was able to learn, explore, be aroused, and add information to continue to explore and bring into my reality.  Make sense?

Ms Olivia:  *nods*  YES !  What you’re saying about the theoretical versus the practical.  I say, I’m therapy with a happy ending.  LOL

Man:  well there’s that, lol

Ms Olivia:  Of course, I also versed in theraputic techniques and do use them on calls and chats……but, My degree is in communications not therapy so I can’t hang out a therapy shingle so to speak. I’m clearly NOT a sex therapist but you do have the benefit of My research, knowledge, insight and information.

Man:  but you are also giving me valuable real world tools & information to continue my personal pursuit the right way.

Ms Olivia:  *nods*  Safe, sane, and consensual…….AND, with practical insight.  Even with a sex therapist they *see* fewer people then My pool of experience.  Men tend to get VERY honest at $2.50 / minute.  LOL  So I can sort thru the hmmmmmmmssssss and cut to the chase.

Man:  ROFL

Ms Olivia:  Really!  I can figure out what I THINK you’re wanting to ask or do and then ask you.  Usually men, when it’s identified and spoken in a nonjudgmental way will actually answer.

Man:  true

Ms Olivia:  Men do the *dance* with women (civilians) because civilian women have y’all trained to do the *relationship dance* so there’s all this STUFF underneath………

Man:  very true

Ms Olivia:  and like mushrooms and other fungus it grows in the dark.

Man:  tremendous metaphor

From the real life relationship of Mistress

Ms Olivia *nods*  Thank you!  Let me give you a real life example…..My guy and I were trying to decide what to do on a certain weekend.  We had two options mutually exclusive because of timing for the events.  I really didn’t have an opinion and said that.  He kept doing the “well it’s up to you” types of comments.  I eventually said, If you want ME to make the decision I will.  I’ve already told you.  These two events have more to do with you than me.  So, I think it makes more sense for YOU to choose.  He came back with…..but I want you to have fun.  I said, I’ve told you I’ll have fun with either.  Now, what I’m not having fun with is the back and forth where you’re trying to figure out what will please Me when I have already told you My answer.  LOL  He finally GOT IT and said, I’d like to do THIS……I said great, get it set up…..that sounds fantastic.  NOW…….. I don’t think I’d have been able to actually HAVE that Meta conversation with him unless I’d talked with thousands of men on a phone sex line!  LOL

Man:  lol

Ms Olivia:  I was able to *spot* the squirmy maybe you’ll figure out and do what I really want to do without me having to say it.  Most civilian women won’t be that knowledgable or blunt.  This, btw, is the ONLY conversation we’ve had like that in a year and a half.  If it were an ongoing thing we wouldn’t be togehter.  I tell you that to point out that the men/women relationship stuff gets bad icky sticky in a heart beat left to it’s *normal* course.  You have had experience with that haven’t you?

Man:  Very much so

Ms Olivia:  You get more honest/more experienced with a professional because there aren’t the *will he like me in the morning* kind of stuff that you get with amateurs or people who want a relationship with you.  Now, I have a really CLOSE and intimate relationship with My guy so I’m not *detached* at all…….I bring the best of My experienced and skills into our relationship and that includes how we communicate……but that’s rare.

Man:  so true  and ultimately going in you know you won’t be judged by those (traditional relationship) rules, and they might find you fun and result in another encounter of similar or different play it’s that Freedom of Pursuit.

Ms Olivia:   ROFLOL !!!!!!  It’s the FEMDOM of pursuit!  LOL  I like that!

Man:  lol  I feel like I have taken up far too much of your time but it’s been such a good conversation

Ms Olivia:  I also get to use this on My blog…… it’s good for us both.  I like that – when it’s mutual!  So, THANK YOU !

We’ll end this IM Chat here.  We continue on with a private conversation about some specific things that are for his eyes only *wink*.  And, now you get the questions.  ~laughs~  Who do YOU talk with about your erotic needs and desires?  Have you ever used your doctor, a traditional therapist, a sex therapist or someone else?  I love your comments!

Ms Olivia