((This is Ms Olivia – Ms Emma Jane’s guest blog post follows right after this note. In the coming year you’ll be seeing us together on Crossdressers Phone Sex. And, when I say you’ll be seeing more of us — I might decide to bring back the password protected sexy photos. OH FUCK ME, did you just cream your panties or cum in your undies? ~laughs~ I haven’t decided on the password protected photos so if you have an opinion, please DO express it in the blog comments or your calls to us.))
Mistress Emma Jane and D/s communication
Note from Ms Olivia: This is the second part of an email that EJ and I had after I posted this blog about Dominance, submission and communication. Now here’s Ms Emma Jane:
Relationship with a Mistress
(2) A D/s relationship IS a relationship, and the power differential does not preclude the existence of that relationship. …And what is essential for any relationship to be successful? Communication. You can read that in the first guest blog about phone sex communication.
Every D/s relationship has rules, agreements, boundaries, expectations, desires, goals, etc., with BOTH parties being involved in the sharing and establishment of said items. Dominance does not mean arbitrarily imposing your will upon another; it means collaborating with your submissive on the desired -and SHARED- shared dynamic.
Submissive: “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” Dominant: “I want you to step out in front of that moving bus.” You’re the sub who thinks blind blanket submission is what a Dominant wants (or should want), regardless of your own feelings on the matter, so… Do you do it? If you feel you have no “right” or “place” in putting forth your own desires and boundaries, then you cannot refuse? Right?! So your become subby roadkill because you felt making your own wants and needs clear was questioning your Dominant’s authority, which is wrong and simply could not be done. Now, you’re being scraped off the pavement with a spatula because you couldn’t open your mouth… (Extreme example? Yes? Did you get the point though? I would expect so.)
Ms Emma Jane that IS an extreme example but I love the point you make because you’re right, D/s or Dominance and submission is a dance … there IS a leader and the follower or submissive does follow but both parties agree on the dance!
Well said and thank you!
Agreed! Sure, I like turning an erstwhile male into a fembot sissy, but only after he’s made it clear that that is where he wants to go. Coming to Me as a tabula rasa with no (stated) fantasies, boundaries, dreams, or hot buttons doesn’t inspire Me and doesn’t give Me any indication of how you could best do what you say you want to do, which is serve Me. 🙂
I’ve actually had and have ONE caller (in nearly 8 years here) who actually means, “I’ll do anything, Mistress” … and I’ll admit at first I kept things pretty tame because I never believe it when a caller says, ‘anything’ …. he DOES want something or, maybe even more importantly, there are usually certain things he does NOT like. But, this one caller … holy cow, he really means it…ANYTHING. But like I said, it’s one in nearly 8 years! ~laughs~ He’s a rarity.
OMG YES to the password protected sexy photos. I almost never share my naughtiest pics but I was more than happy to spare one for you, Ms O. because you are one of my favorite ladies here. Anytime we get the chance to play together I can hardly contain myself because we’re just too damn good.
I know Ms Alexis! I can’t tell you how many people were like, WHAT WHAT WHAT that sexy hot Ms Alexis photo was only up for a WEEK. They CRIED Alexis they cried! ~laughs~ I’m like, yo dude, ya snooze ya lose! ~laughs~