Olivia 1-800-601-6975
How do you spice up your sex life when you are IN a relationship?
Pay attention to the sex
Maybe you’re married or you’ve been together for a while. The ‘ohhhhhhh new sex’ smell (like the new car smell) has left the erotic interactions between you and your partner. Sometimes life (all the commitments, stresses, realities of living with another person) gets in the way. Sometimes it’s other things, things that can signal difficulties in other areas of the relationship.
Great sex is critical to the health of any relationship
Before I left for a long weekend (and My own great sex LOL), I had an AMAZING experience! I talked with a couple who are exploring using phone sex calls together to heat up their relationship! WOW! I love this couple! The guidance of an Experienced Mistress can help them explore fantasies that are sexy for them both.
This particular couple isn’t the first couple that has contacted Me about phone sex erotic coaching. They are fun and open. They might get into a little bit of sensual domination and cock control at some point. Right now, they are totally *into* one another and that makes Me totally into THEM. Here’s the IM Chat I had when the man, who is a crossdresser, contacted Me on IM.
IM Chat about phone sex for couples
Man: Hello. Please im me when you are off the phone. thank you.
Olivia: Hi there, I’m off the call now. Thank you so much for waiting, I don’t IM while on calls. But, I’m with you now!
Man: My wife and i are interested in calling, how do you do with couples?
Olivia: I love couples !
Man: We tried a call with another Mistress, but my wife thought she was a little to dominating and fake. she is looking for a girlfriend to talk to her honestly about what we are doing.
Olivia: ahhhhhhh……… BUT that’s really good to know. AND……I really am …. *real*. Have you seen my blog? I post a lot of IM chats that I have with callers about phone sex, Femdom, etc. That can give you an idea……I’m not much on the “I am Mistress hear ME roar” kind of thing. LOL BTW, I love that your wife will call with you! Can you tell me more about you, her, your relationship and what you’re looking for? *whew* I just read that……that’s a LOT of questions! Thank you in advance for answering! LOL
His wife likes his crossdressing
Man: She started dressing me up in woman’s lingerie about four years ago. she also makes me wear it under my clothes once in a while. she also likes to put makeup on me and fake nails. We have toys and she like me to use them on her when i am dressed up
Olivia: OMG !!!!!! You are SOOOOOOO blessed and lucky! You totally KNOW that right?
Man: yes
Olivia: *nods* Good! thought so…..wow, your wife sounds AMAZING and, actually, a lot like me (open and curious). That is FANTASTIC! I love to work with couples where the wife/partner is *into* it…….I have done sessions where the woman is kind of passive/aggressive in saying she wants to do it but then doesn’t and doesn’t do it but won’t communicate about why. BLEH……that’s not fun and not sexy. What are you looking for with your wife? And, do you want to call as a couple …. or her solo?
Man: We would call as a couple. we are very honest and open with each other
Olivia: Great! I get that! AND, depending on what you want…..she can also call solo ……girl bonding, etc. PLUS, I’m more than happy to email with her as well. Tell Me more.
Man: I could tell you she made me wear satin panties today.
Olivia: ~laughs~ and you feel GREAT don’t you?
Man: ya
Olivia: Hey, I post a lot of IM Chats…….this one, and your questions, would be ideal to post on my blog. Can I post it? (taking out your IM, identifiers, etc.)
Man: if you do that it would be ok.
Olivia: Great and thank you! Tell Me more. What are you looking for and how can I help?
Man: Just as an example. a couple of weeks ago before we called (another Mistress) my wife made me go out and get a pedicure and gave me a bottle of her pink nail polish for them to paint my toes
Olivia: *nods* That’s FUN and sexy! How did you broach the subject of crossdressing with your wife? Before you got married? How did you find HER?
They actually talk about erotic desires!
Man: We met through friends. dressing me up just came out of conversations after we were married. we had deep conversations about our fantasies and desires. neither one of us judged each other. i made us even closer.
Olivia: Yes! That is much like me and my guy….the fact that I do phone sex sort of *made* us have the initial conversation. But, he reacted the same way. Not with judgment and not overly interested (creepy) either. It has made us very close too. Honesty (without judgment) does wonders for intimacy…..sexual and personal. What has your wife learned?
Phone sex as a kick start
Man: The way phone sex came up was we were just brainstorming about how we could spice up our sex life. it was good before we had kids. we are looking for ways to get it kick started again
Olivia: *nods* ahhhhh…..yes. Good for you both!
Man: she has learned that the things we do in the bedroom are just between us, and they are special. also, that it helps us talk about other things not related to sex much easier.
Olivia: Yes!!! I totally agree! Can you give an example?
The adult conversation about sex has benefits throughout the relationship
Man: finances for one. things that happened in her life before i met her. she can talk openly and help her get through them. we all have things from our past we just need to get out and share with somone so we get is off our mind or be at peace with it.
Olivia: *nods* Those are both tough topics for any relationship. It sounds like you’re communicating from intimacy and trust …. which always makes financial conversations with your partner soooooo much easier, not to mention, more effective! On a personal note, I’m SO THRILLED for you……for you both! I can’t tell you how many men contact me and they’re just miserable in their real life relationship/marriage! How can I assist you both?
Man: i think it would be great if we gave you a call. the only thing is we would need to do it at 10:45pm eastern. we have (names the reason) and want to make sure (things are handled) before we do things.
Olivia: That’s later than I normally am on. But, if you want to do an appt. I will do that for you b/c I find y’all interesting. (( We set the date.))
Man: looking forward to speaking with you! thanks for everything.
Olivia: Thank YOU !!! I’m really looking forward to talking with you both!
We did have the session and it was soooo sweet and sexy, naughty and hot! One of the things I particularly liked was talking with his wife. He’s VERY LUCKY! And, note that they both sat down and did a brainstorming session about what to do to spice things up in the bedroom. How many people (couples) are actually THAT intentional about their love life? We do things like brainstorming in a work setting because it’s an effective technique to get new ideas. Good for them for taking charge of their love life! Things like this keep relationships fresh and vibrant!
As always….comments, questions, reactions, etc.
Ms Olivia
Ms. Olivia, all i can think to say is that if You talk with them again, please reaffirm for them how lucky they are!
*nods* @ coffeeboy …… I just passed your comment on to him 🙂
They are VERY RARE as a couple. I think they do *get* how great they have it……and, one of the main reasons why it is great is because they’ve got open and honest communication. THAT is rare and should be cherished! My read is that they DO cherish it! 🙂
That is awesome, Ms Olivia! And congrats to the couple. This blog post may have to find it’s way to my wife’s browser. We’ve never called anyone for phone sex together, but the idea has crossed my mind.
So what’s left on your phonesex bucket list? 3 some?
LOL @ wellspanked ……. hmmmmmmm …… phone sex list or real life list?
My real life experiences are pretty darn varied! ~laughs~ And, the things I want to keep in fantasy land are perfect for phone sex fun!
I think it’s less about the DETAILS of the scene for Me….it’s more about the energy of the experience….the connection….the electricity …. the heat.
OH! Wait! My guy just reminded Me……LOL…..I want to go to a strip club with him! *wink*
What’s on YOUR list of things to do?
*wink*
my list of thiings to do…repair the carberator in the string trimmer, paint the spare bedroom, put up crown molding….wait that’s the wrong list.
I don’t have much of a WHAT to do list….maybe a WHO to do list LOL. Honestly, the things I haven’t done that I fantasize about if I had the chance, I may prefer they stay fantasy.
But going to a strip club with your guy, come on, you could do that one easily…and I know I’d love to hear about it.
LOL wellspanked …… You’re funny! Loved your *list* even the wrong list is insight. ~laughs~
Oh and I know the strip club is totally do-able and I don’t even consider that kinky! LOL I just haven’t gone with HIM and each time we’re together there are so many fun options I actually forgot about that until he reminded me! Now, that in itself is making me ~laugh~
hi Mistress Olivia,
the guy is very lucky – it sounds ideal – You are so right communication is key – and some times life happens and taking time for each other just gets pushed further and further down the list! – tell them to cherish and enjoy what they have – wonder if i could send a link to this page to my wife?
as always thanks for everything
starbaby xxxxxxx
🙂 @ starbaby …… I think if you send the link to your wife just have planned about saying how you found the page, etc.
I’m all for sending this to wives….but make sure that open and honest communication actually IS honest from the get go!
Otherwise, it’s a house built on a crumbling foundation.
Does she know that you have done phone sex sessions? Your wife has really grown sexually since you and I started …… she might embrace this as the next step. Wait several months tho….because right now, she’s probably got her hands full and is tired from the new addition to the family. Remember ALL SEX happens in context. Right now, some of the sexiest things you can do will probably be housework!
Hi MsOlivia! I don’t think I can say enough good things about this couple. I absolutely love their attitude and way of going about things. It seems to me that they have embraced the two most important things to making *any* relationship work, regardless of any desire to embrace that which is kinky. That would be communication and sharing. They wanted things changed, so they changed them…. as a couple. They worked together to make what they wanted happen happen, and I just love that. I agree that he’s a lucky man to have such a wife, but I rather believe that they are both very lucky, not unlike Yourself and Your guy as well.
*nods* @ magnus……I was thinking the same thing. It’s one thing to share solo and be met with ….. well, a brick wall, resistance or judgment. That kind of limits further attempts at sharing. I’ll give an example. One guy told Me that he shared his kink with a woman before they were married…..she actually TRIED to participate and he “freaked out” on her. Hmmmmm, little wonder she never tried to connect that way again. It takes a lot to share really intimate thoughts, it also takes a lot to hear them ….. and, then to try and meet the person half way or more takes even MORE.
THIS level of communication is about conversations that are on the EDGE of life…..fierce and risky conversations….the stakes are high, but so are the benefits. Either person can derail it. Both sides have to be present, gentle and willing to stay in the conversation.
You also picked up on what I love about this couple …. they are BOTH involved in the communication and have an agreement to communicate. I love that! You’re right, I’m blessed to be in a relationship where we ALSO stay in communication….makes all the difference in the world!
They are indeed a lucky couple! While their kinks aren’t exactly mine I can still very much relate to them. There was a time when I thought if I had a wife as open as your callers, I wouldn’t Need to call. But, as is often the case, I hadn’t considered all the possibilities lol. I can see how a bit of exposure in a safe environment would be good kinky fun. Two dominant women knowing my secrets and sharing the experience with them……humiliating and hot!
*nods* YES Mike! Sometimes the kinky play is BEST left to the fantasy world of phone sex. Sometimes it’s easier and more effective to do humiliation calls, for example, with someone that you have a little bit more *emotional distance* than you do with a partner. Remember *real life women* generally don’t have the years of sex worker experience that I now have….I am able to move back and forth from the fantasy to the real even in My private life. I’m not sure I could do that without the phone sex experience. I have a wealth of knowledge that an ‘amateur’ doesn’t have.
Hello Ms Olivia,
You asked me to write a comment about how I discussed with my wife, my desire to wear panties and cross dress. This could be a really long comment, but I think I need to give a bit of a back story to get to where I am now.
I first started wearing panties in college. I had messed around with panties and such before that, but it wasn’t until I had a long term girlfriend in college that I found myself doing it a lot. I loved buying lingerie for her, and she loved wearing it for me, many times I found myself sneaking them and wearing them from time to time.
When I first met my wife, I did not sneak her panties or lingerie. After we got married, we moved from the Northeast to the Southwest. I left early and she had to stay for a few months as a courtesy to her employer. Obviously she didn’t ship everything down because she needed clothes to wear, but most of her sexier lingerie was shipped down. For two months I had access to her lingerie and wore it often. This is when I feel I became a true cross dresser. This is also the period where I bought the patent leather heels that I mentioned on EE.
She finally joined me and I continued to sneak her panties. Doing my best to hide it from her only to find out later when I was finally found out, that she suspected something was going on. She may have suspected, but she thought I was masturbating with them not actually wearing them. I almost got caught by her numerous times. Once I was on cam in her bra, panties, garter and stockings after she left to go to the store, only to return because she forgot something.
Then came the fateful day. I am in the sales field and have been fortunate to work from home at times. I had just put on my favorite set of hers. Lace midnight blue bikini panties from Victoria Secret and matching bra. I had just put them on in the bedroom and was walking out of the bedroom to head to the office. I had not heard her come in the house. To this day I am not sure who was more shocked, her or me.
After the initial shock wore off, the obvious what are you doing, the whys were asked. I must admit that I had come close to telling her numerous times and had hinted at it as well. I thought they went unnoticed but found out that I was wrong. As much as I was unprepared for getting caught, I was prepared for the questions. I had read so much on the internet about cross dressing that I had a plan of action.
I first started with the why. I was honest that it part of the reason was that it really turned me on. I also told her that I had the urge to do it, but really couldn’t explain it. To be honest, I still have a hard time explaining the reasons I do it, but I did my best to explain. I also told her there were tons of websites that she could look at that shared info for women who were married or in relationships with cross dressers.
Then I kind of went into what I liked to wear etc, because this was the next question she asked. I am mainly a panty wearer and told her this. Which of course led to the obvious, why were you wearing my bra question. I must say I’m not a huge bra fan, but the matching set was the main reason for me wearing it. I also told her that stockings were a huge turn on for me as well.
All things considered that first talk went much smoother than I ever anticipated it would. Had I known she would have been so calm about it, I would have told her years ago.
I must stress to anyone who wants to tell a signifcant other that you must take it slow. Do not hit them over the head with too much information. That night we set some guidelines. Her clothes were off limits, period. Which I readily agreed to. Even though I still crave wearing certain stuff of hers, I felt that was a fair compromise. Beside that we have no other rules.
As I got more and more comfortable talking with her about it, I found myself telling her more stuff that I would like to do. She gave me my first make over and has been invaluable with make up tips. I still need her to apply eye liner, because I strggle with that. The first halloween after the secret was out, we went to a costume party as cheer leaders. She was in the male outfit and I wore the skirt.
So she has been very supportive and I can’t complain. Though I must say I tread lightly when I ask questions. She may be supportive, but I know she isn’t excited about it either. We will play sometimes when I’m dressed but I let her initiate it. I think that is an important thing for anyone who finally tells their spouse. Do not inundate them, I can’t stress that enough.
I will admit that I haven’t shared everything with her. I did mention to her a bit about my submissive side one night when we were talking about my dressing and she did not seem receptive. So, I leave that in the fantasy area and the phone sex portion of my life. She knows I have called in the past and was not really happy, but understands that sometimes I need to talk about my feminine side to others.
I just try to stay patient with her about that part of my life and judge her mood about a subject before I ask her certain things. I must admit though that her knowing has great advantages. I always wanted to shave my legs to wear stockings, now I don’t have to come up with a hairbrained reason to her why I do it. She has also learned that buying a surprise pair of panties for me is a special thing to me. She also has keyed into some of my kinks in regard to wearing panties and such. She can tell my fear of being found out in public turns me on. So sometimes in a department store she will give hints that the panties may be for me. She isn’t blatant, but some people might get the idea.
To conclude, I would say that anyone that wants to share their secret must understand that it isn’t all about them. We all have a picture of exactly what we want our significant other to be in realtion to our fetishes or concerns. While I won’t say it is impossible to find someone who like 100% it is very rare. Take what you can get and continue to talk. If I had to do it all over again, I would have told her about it before we got married. The fear that she would divorce me because of it was the main reason I didn’t share it with her. Hindsight being 20/20 I realize now that she loves me no matter what I wear and divorce was never an option.
THANK YOU so much pantyboy for taking your time to write this! I am sooooooo grateful! So many of My phone sex calls from men who wear panties or who are crossdressers involve the GAP between what they want/who they are….and, who they feel they *have* to be in order to be accepted. Your experience might not be others, or even work for others, but it begins to show the world that some kind of integration of sex fetish and real life relationships IS possible (if that is what you want).
THANK YOU again!
You and your wife are BOTH special people!