I write about what it means to Me to be a Mistress. Many of you have written about male submission and being a male submissive. We’ve talked about how it takes strength to be a submissive. I’ve been very clear that I feel like your submission to Me is a gift. I take your cock control sessions quite seriously and look for ways to increase our mutual pleasure!
I am a phone Mistress but I also play in real life. Now, let’s wade into a lively debate in BDsm circles. WHO is actually “in charge” … the submissive or the Mistress?
Topping From the Bottom
Some of you have heard the phrase topping from the bottom. This is the person who claims to be submissive but then (during the scene) begins to direct the play. The submissive who does this is often called a brat because, well, they’re being bratty! There’s a passive aggressive flair to this. This is a not very fun or sexually exciting way to play games. I don’t like it.
Mistress/sub Relationship
It’s called power exchange for a reason. The submissive must “give up” power to Mistress and the Mistress must “take” power from the submissive. I’m really good and intuitive but I’m not a mind reader. That means that any potential play partner must tell Me what he or she likes. We’ll talk about limits, likes/dislikes, turn ons/turn offs, sexual scenes, erotic role play ideas, etc. I ask you questions, get a feel for you and then when the scene begins the job of the submissive is to submit. If I am off track I’m fine with you telling Me directly what you want. This is especially important during phone sex calls because I can’t read your body language. This is different from topping from the bottom.
What questions do you have about the phrase “topping from the bottom”? Do you ever worry that you do that? Do you wonder about how to communicate with your Mistress? Ask questions, make comments and I’ll answer you here or on your call.
Ms Olivia
(You can also ask for a Mistress recommendation from the lovely Ladies on Live Help.
Hello Mistress Olivia, I would like to ask what “topping from the bottom” means? I ask as I want to make sure I don’t do this to you Mistress Olivia. I’d like to ask you if I have done this to you Mistress Olivia? If I have then I would like to deeply apologise to you & I will watch how I speak & write to you Mistress Olivia. Thank You for your time Mistress Olivia.
Ohhhhhhhh no no no no no slave…..you have NEVER topped from the bottom. No. This is passive/aggressive behavior designed to manipulate someone into doing something you want. It is ALWAYS appropriate for a submissive or a slave to SAY what he/she wants! In fact, that is the responsibility of the submissive to actually participate and say ‘what works’ for the sub. No matter how well Mistress knows the submissive, She is not a mind reader. There is nothing more frustrating then trying to guess and then be told “no, I don’t like that” from a sub. When I was new to fetish play I would put up with this behavior. Now, I just end the play. It’s not fun. Trust Me, pet, you do NOT do this. You are FUN to play with!!!!!!
What questions do you have about the phrase “topping from the bottom”? Do you ever worry that you do that?
Yeah that does concern me Ms.O.
Always been of the mind that if I’m paying you $23 plus the price of the Motel 6 then Domme or not, you’re wearing the Darth Vader costume. Probably not a true power exchange in the strictest sense of the word.
The Hooterville BDSM scene is such a disaster. Sometimes I wish we could just move beyond “You’re not a cop are you?” into the cool stuff I read about on your blog.
Great Holidays and an awesome 2013 to you Ms.O.
Oh! I’m sure this does concern you there in Hooterville! ~laughs~ Actually I like the Darth Vader cape but I don’t like the helmet because I get helmet hair…..so we won’t be playing that game at the Motel 6. You take Me to ALL the snazzy places!
Glad to see you’re still around!
Hope you’re having a lovely, lively time this holiday! *kiss*
I like light trample on Your cock and balls. i have had a woman sit in a chair and with her leg muscles play with my (at the time) cock and balls and i very much enjoyed it. She used her high heels on me and then her bare feet and in both cases i was able to cum. In my dreams i can handle full weight, but in real life i have found i cannot. Sometimes in the beginning of a session i will just say i like to be trampled. Now i know it is my own fault for not being specfic but i think you know i am not really into doing much talking. You may even notice when you read my stories i never really talk in them. My own voice causes me to leave the wonderful world that you spin and when i have to concentrate on my part i loose the feeling. So when i forget to clearly state what kind of trampling i like, most Mistresses think i mean full body trample. I don’t want to interrupt the flow of the scene so i sit and wait for them to work the fantasy back down where i like the trampling. So is it better to just wait it out or interrupt? LOL or if i just post it in a blog does that count? I’m just kidding. But seriously if i interrupt the flow of the scene i fill like it takes a while to get the feeling back to where it was. But for me its all about what You want and i know you know that but that is always on my mind. I don’t know. Your fantasies mixed with the gudied masturbation and the fun in real talk we have is all i really need. Thank You Mistress Olivia.
Awww, bumkin THANK YOU! I love that trampling! I’ve always called that a trampling board! And, that cock and balls board is super sexy….I love the feeling of click click click of My heels on the board! ☺
Hmmmmmmm……I have heard comments / questions like that from many people. I always check in but still sometimes miss things. Here’s how I do it in a session….I appreciate the ‘hints’….so something like “Mistress, I love when you use the board on the cock and balls…the sensations there are amazing. I like it there even though it doesn’t turn me on when it’s a full body trample.”
See what I mean?
BTW, I love our conversations……because we both enjoy the “all of it” … the naughty, funny, intimate, interesting and more! ~smiles~