Do you think you’re weird because you like kink or fetish?
This post is inspired by comments from a post about kink in pop culture. I’m always interested in the WHY of things — why people think what they think, why people do what they do, etc. Pop culture is often a way to explore the why — but sometimes the portrayals are simplistic or downright dumb.
Movies and kink
Here’s a great comment from Princess:
“I think there really aren’t any movies I would recommend as capturing the BDSM mind set and that of its’ players. Even Ann Rice’s great book ‘Exit to Eden’ was destroyed by a horrible movie that simply didn’t get the subject matter!”
Movie depiction of being a submissive
I haven’t found a movie or show that shows what being a Femdom is actually like — although the show Billions comes really, really close. The Secretary a nice depiction of some of the emotions around being a Dominant and being a submissive. Princess brings up a great point by saying:
“While I agree that ‘the secretary’ is better than most … it still portrays both main characters as flawed loners. Out of the mainstream. even somewhat damaged people. My limited experience is that we are … for the most part…pretty conventional people, with jobs and families, hobbies and lives that, at least out of the bedroom, are pretty vanilla…. We are of course, varied like everyone else. But I think we inhabit every rank and position in society in increasing numbers.”
Kink on the down low
Are you familiar with the work of Brene Brown — she researches shame, vulnerability, creativity and living a full life. Check her out and then think of how important it is to have a place to be vulnerable, be seen, be known, be appreciated, etc. Maybe if we have access to THAT PLACE then the superficial and, therefore, inadequate illustrations in pop culture don’t really matter.
Your Experienced Mistress,
Ms Olivia
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Ms. Olivia, this is a super interesting post…so glad that you wrote it! I am not familiar with Brene Brown but I am now incredibly interested in finding out what she and her research has to say! And I completely want to second what you said about the importance of being seen, known, appreciated, and vulnerable. I believe feeling (having) these things in our own lives can and will make all the difference both from a kink standpoint and perhaps more especially for our lives as a whole! 🙂
Thanks Mandy—- hey, check out the TED talk by Brene Brown — she also has a special on Netflix … and a bunch of stuff on youtube. She also has a new book out. She’s amazing and her research is fantastic for what we do here — and, yes, in the rest of our lives as well!