Olivia 1-800-601-6975

Submission to Mistress

What does a Mistress look for in a submissive male, subby, servant or slave?  The short answer is that it depends on your particular kink or fetish.  It also depends on how you express that erotic desire in conjunction with your submission to your Mistress.  How’s that for a vague answer?  ~laughs~

Seriously, I don’t have pat answers and I don’t provide cookie cutter phone sex.  One of the differences between a session with Me and this blog (or the free IM chat between My calls) is that your sessions are unique and personalized directly to your life, lifestyle, erotic interests and fetish needs.  That’s one reason why I LISTEN to you!

Some domination happens simply because of the beauty and sensuality of the Mistress.  Ms Constance gives a great example of that in a sensuous tease that ‘inspires* rather than orders.  This free erotic audio shows the power of brains, beauty and baby oil!  *wink*

Submission combined with fetish sex turnons

I’ve written about the use of panties in submission and you don’t have to be a sissy or a crossdresser to be a man who gets a submissive feeling from being put in My lacy panties.

Some submissive men express their willingness to suffer for their Mistress, especially with a willingness to submit to cock tease and denial and/or pain play.  ((Please always remember Safety First if you have any interest in pain play.  Ms Vivian is an excellent teacher about fetish safety issues.  I am adamant about safety –= we will play in a safe, sane and consensual manner.))

Each Femdom has different ways to *think* of her submissive, I tend to think of you in the classic hero archetype.  You go on an adventure (for Me).  It is difficult (because you suffer).  You and I both learn things and benefit because of the your journey.  And, then you bring Me back (offer) a tribute.  That tribute can be your submission, you obedience, the very thing that defines your masculinity (your cock and balls, the content of your explosive orgasm), etc.

I was reading blogs on our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire, and I found a blog post by mindless.  He has a beautiful description about what it takes to be a submissive male from his point of view.  Thank you mindless for allowing Me to post part of your words.  There will be more blogs on this topic and you’ll hear a variety of thoughts.

One caller on being a submissive male

By mindless:  “Strength. This one word sums up a great deal of what makes up a sub for varying reasons. A sub requires first before anything else, the strength to step aside from the ego, to let at least the uppermost of their pride to fall away and offer that first glimpse of surrender.

That original experience of letting someone else have even a little control over you is so frightening and so exciting that the sub begins to realize and feel that yearning in their soul even though they have no understanding of what it is or were it will take them.

The second trial of strength comes after that experience. The mind and pride reasserting itself causing doubt, regret and humiliation at what you had just willingly put yourself through. It is only through strength of will that a sub is able to push these negative feelings aside and dwell instead on the positives that they encountered. It is this defining strength that separates a submissive from those who had one chance experience and have forever distanced themselves from such a thing.

I’ve done calls with someone new to Femdom submission and want to try it.  Some people want to be ‘dominated’ and are looking for a strong, sexually assertive Woman.  True submission in the BD/sm sense tends to be something that you either love it or hate it.  When you find a woman who really *gets* you … the whole you, including the part of you that yearns for Her control and Dominance … then you are in for a treat!  That is when the Hero’s Journey of submission begins.  mindless describes it this way:

“The submissive will find a certain joy mixed with more anxiety and fear when they admit to themselves that being submissive is something they need to be fulfilled.  It is only through extreme strength of character and will that this very first need is ever discovered let alone nurtured and brought forth.

A thousand authors writing a thousand pages in a thousand books would still not scratch the surface of what all these things are. There are no final answers, there are no absolutes, there is only what was, what is, and what will be.

mindless is right that there are no simplistic descriptions of male submission.  As an Experienced Mistress, I know that everything we do and experience it is, above all else, complex.

What do you have to say about this?

Your Experienced Mistress,

Ms Olivia