Phone sex surprises
Listen to me read you this blog.
When I started doing phone sex I got a surprise or two … or three or four or more! Â Along the way I’ve heard all sorts of intimate confessions. Â Every so often someone asks if I consider phone sex cheating. I certainly have opinions but, since I already know what I think, it’s generally more interesting to hear what YOU think.
Relationships and this Experienced Mistress
I’m not really in the habit of policing the relationships of other people. Â That’s just not my nature. Â I WILL set boundaries in our relationship, including telling you what IS and IS NOT a phone sex session. Â Other than that I’m easy going. Â Here’s a bit more about my own personal fetish exploration. Â I can’t imagine only having vanilla sex. Â This might surprise you, but I also can’t imagine having only fetish sex.
Your wife and phone sex
Like I said, I don’t tend to get involved with your relationship with someone other than me. Â I will say that your marriage and our conversations are an apples/oranges kind of thing. Â We get VERY close and intimate … in a different way … and our interactions can enhance any “traditional” marriage.
A wonderful crossdressing friend wrote about her experience using phone sex companionship as an outlet for the side of her that is a femme submissive cocksucker and married to a vanilla woman.
” i personally do not believe it is cheating, i look at it more as simply vocalizing my fanatasies.
As a submissive cocksucker who enjoys dressing up, i think it would be damaging to a relationship to not have an outlet for this.i know from experience that simply trying to ignore one’s fanatasies and desires that a partner may not agree with does not work, it it who i am, and being able to “get it out of my system” as needed makes me a better partner in my relationship.
Being dedicated to your partner in real life is what matters most.”
What do you think? Â I do know I want you to be dedicated to this Mistress when we’re playing!
Your Experienced Mistress,
Ms Olivia
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Ooooh, another sticky wicket topic!
I think we’re all geniuses at rationalizing most any behavior that our deeper nature wants to engage in.
I once asked an attorney in a deal I was working on, “Do I have to disclose something that does no harm to the other party in the transaction? His answer was disappointingly spot on. “Well, would they make a different decision if they knew?”
The answer was yes, in all likelihood, they would. In truth, that’s why I didn’t want to tell them. I didn’t want to reveal what I’d paid and how short of time I’d owned it. I wanted to tell myself it was none of their business … so I would benefit from their ignorance.
I think the same reasoning applies to the people in our lives. Would they make a different decision if they knew?
Here’s my rationalization. My long distance girlfriend knows I call a sex line from time to time. That was my nod toward disclosure. But I KNOW she has no idea about the side of me that shows up during those calls. In all likelihood she would rethink her opinion of me if she knew. Soooo, I don’t tell her. It’s a side of me she will never know. Soooo, while I acknowledge that what I’m doing slips into the unethical side I rationalize it away. I also do 85 down the freeway from time to time. I sneak food into theaters and I let my co-workers think I’m working when I’m off playing.
All in all, I think that makes me … pretty ordinary.
John Q
I do specialize in sticky wickets! ~laughs~ I actually am all for privacy for sexual fantasy. I’m not one of those that says a partner gets to have “access” to every single aspect of another human being. The exception to that is risky sexual behavior that might have an impact on another person without consent. So, in my own life I’m fine with taking risks because I’m adult and that’s my choice … but I sure don’t want to assume the consequences of someone else’s risk … I guess that’s where I draw the line. Of course, everyone is different. You are enjoying a side of you that doesn’t have an impact on her, so ( IMHO ) it’s none of her business.
Thank you for your take on this Mistress,
For sure, putting someone else (anyone else) at risk without their knowledge and willing consent is a serious character flaw. I agree with you that PSO conversations can definitely enhance an in-person relationship.
After I posted my initial response the other day I gave it more thought. What I realized is that my girlfriend (You know?, the real one!) might actually be okay with my alter ego but that it’s ME who wouldn’t be okay with her seeing me that way. It would simply be too much of a role conflict for me to deal with.
I suppose, if I were to be completely candid I like the way she sees me and my vain self isn’t willing to give that up …
I’m also not willing to give up exploring my counter balancing role with you. We call that role “fantasy” but clearly it’s just as real to the deeper recesses of my mind. It feels like psychological integration. It feels like growth. Maybe that sounds nuts, but these things you help me explore are clearly parts of me that have previously had no route to consciousness.
John Q
Sorry to occupy your blog with these non-sexy musings …
That’s very insightful! I’ve talked to a lot of people who have alter egos on the phone and they want that to stay in this arena not the face to face arena. I’m a fan of people having privacy even within a relationship. You are not alone in this!
Ms. Olivia, I absolutely love how your crossdresser that phone sex is not cheating and is simply vocalizing her fantasies. That is so true!! I was just having this same conversation with one of my dearest clients the other day who wrestles with this issue. I told him that it is simple – he has a very particular fantasy, and I am able to verbally bring that fantasy to life for him to enjoy. And, yes, it is so much fun to get to hear all of these intimate confessions!
Ms Sierra, we do play a very important role in the lives of our callers … and them in our lives!
Great post, Ms Olivia! Even if I were not a member of the empire I would say that having outlets for our fantasies is a good thing. If there is one thing I know, it’s that no one can be all things to a person.Relationships are not always about sexual compatability. Having someone to engage in fantasy play is a great option.
Exactly Ms Lena! Say someone meets 95% of all relationship needs but that 5% is missing … well here we are! It’s perfect and we enjoy the fantasies too! 🙂 🙂