Olivia 1-800-601-6975

I love your comments and questions on My blog!

I also enjoy when you contact Me via IM.  This post is a reprint of is a blog comment posted by chrissy who contacted Me first via IM.

((Thank you all for being understanding that I’m not always able to do the free IM Chats in real time.)) I quickly realized that chrissy’s comments needed more individual attention then I’m able to give in the free IM chats and so I directed her to My blog.

About chrissy

chrissy is a crossdresser who, as you can see, has used crossdressing phone sex for years as a way to experience these feelings as a submissive crossdresser.  I want to post her entire comment and then in the coming days, I’ll respond specifically to various aspects of her questions and comments.

I think the fundamental issue that chrissy is addressing will ring true for many of us.  It’s how to explore erotic needs, desires and sex fetish issues in a way that is safe and sane.  Of course, phone sex itself is an ideal outlet AND she, like many of us, struggles to bring the fantasy more into real life.  She puts it this way:  “Its the struggle for integrity, self honesty and functionality in the real world!!”  I can relate chrissy and I suspect our readers (cock control fans you know who you are!) here on My blog can relate as well!

chrissy’s comment  (section labels in bold are my only changes)

Dear Empress Olivia,

Thank You so much for Your time on IM, it was really great to have a quick chat. As You instructed, i have posted the gist of our conversation below and i look forward to hearing Your responses at Your convenience.

phone sex and the real world for men in lingerie

i have done sessions on and off with various beautiful LDW Mistresses, and have accrued some real time experience over the years. As a part of my training, i have been required to wear panties at all times; required to buy panties, bras and make up and to tell the sales Girl that the items are for me; required to get my legs waxed, nails done and keep my pubic hair shaved and/or groomed into a girlie triangle above my clitty; i have been made to wear butt plugs; enticed to suck cocks; threatened with chastity and served as a sissy maid at a femdom tea party, plus played with some Dommes in the local scene.

crossdressing crossroad

Recently, i have become aware that i am at a crossroads. i know deep down that i need to integrate my kinks into my life, or to somehow move away from them entirely (which i know is impossible). At present it is a secret i keep, even from partners… and have learnt that through non-disclosure of my kinks i am kind of fucking up the honesty of the relationship. The dynamic of the sex in the relationship is founded on a half-truth…which then sort of leaks out into other areas of the relationship.

i am trying to work out a way of being at peace with it, and living it at an appropriate level in general life. In other words, i want to live my kinks without losing credibility or becoming a walking freak show at the local mall where i buy my panties… If that makes any sense!!

crossdressing conflicts

The conflicts i feel are sophisticated and quite deep… its not just a matter of feeling shame, or suffering guilt, or freaking out about duplicity in relationships. It’s a struggle i wage within myself, a real push and pull between major forces which (to simplify) can be broken down to “light” and “dark”, “feminine” and “masculine”, “defiant” and “submissive” etc. i am trying to figure out an equilibrium that works for me. Sometimes when i get into this stuff i feel a dissolution of self set in that is deeply corrosive… and totally contra-creative … and i can’t go there without abandoning or betraying myself. But when i desist entirely … i feel deeply lonely!!! Even if i am in a vanilla thing and very well loved.

real life issues for men who love to crossdress

i have a very full and successful life with a lot of vanilla friends who i love… but i do not want to lay my kink out in front of them. In other words, i do not want my kinks to encroach on my vanilla life, but nor do i want the vanilla to eclipse my kinks… i say this having recently ended a relationship with a beautiful vanilla woman.

Its the struggle for integrity, self honesty and functionality in the real world!!

And NOW i AM laughing at myself and blushing a rather fetching pink!!

Yours very truly,

Dearest chrissy, I’ll be responding to the specifics of your comments and questions in the coming days.  Let Me just let you know that you are not alone!  We have a variety of essays with practical suggestions for crossdressers and you know you’ll get the personal touch (so to speak) with Me.  I’d like the regular readers of this blog to also post comments because even if your kink or fetish is different from chrissy’s I know you have (or are currently) negotiating this path.  So, let’s hear from you!

Ms Olivia