How did I get this way?
I wasn’t always a Mistress and I didn’t know that there was a specific term for sexual Dominance that has the Woman in charge. Like many people who aren’t informed about kink or fetish play, I found it a little unapproachable and scary.
Natural leader to Mistress
In most settings, I end up as the natural leader. This has always included the sexual arena simply because I am adventurous and not afraid to be the leader. And, I’ll admit I simply love when I get a lover who likes body worship! ~smiles~ As I became aware of D/s erotic play, I simply followed My natural leadership abilities.
Education and training of Mistress
If you’ve had a look at My amazon Wish List, then you know that I read and learn. I’ve always done that. I’m naturally curious about pretty much everything. This also applies to Femdom when I started doing domination phone sex.
Books about BDsm
There are several books that I recommend if you’re curious about this thing that is so interesting to Me (and you).
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon is considered a basic classic. She is the bottom or submissive and he is the Top or Master Dominant. The additional title says it talks about the romance and sexual sorcery of sadomasochism. It’s a great mix of insight into their relationship as well as a how to book about toys and techniques.
Psychological and spiritual aspects of kink play
Two of My favorite books from the fetish scene are more about psychology, spirituality and transcendence than specifically about techniques. Peter Masters book called This Curious Human Phenomenon is more about the WHY then the how to. I loved it! Radical Ecstasy by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy is an amazing book that opened My eyes to using BDsm to really explore outside the box.
What have you read about BDsm?
What are some of the books that you’ve read about BDsm that you love? Tell Mistress! Or, do you simply crave My special brand of cock control and don’t care about the psychology! ~laughs~ Tell Me about that too! 🙂
Ms Olivia
I don’t read much but what lead me to liking the BDSM scene was the movie,”The Secretary” & it is a difficult movie to find. The only difference is he is the Master & she does his every deed. That Turned Me On to this GREAT lifestyle & I Love to switch rolls as Mistress and Master. I think I’m going to read more now due to the many books Mistress Olivia has posted on this Blog. Thank You Very much Mistress Olivia.
You’re so kind timm! You can tell from all the books on MY wish list that I love, love, love to read! I can’t wait to hear your reactions to reading some of those BDsm books! Now….you mentioned the Movie, The Secretary! OMG…..that is such an amazing movie!!!! And it wasn’t something like fetish porn or anything like that…..that movie is one of the clearest depictions of Dominance and submission I have ever seen! I’m going to put that movie on My Wish List right now! It totally needs to be in My collection!
Hi MsOlivia. As an initial digression I find it funny that a guy named Peter Masters would write a book on BDSM. 😉
I haven’t read those books myself though they’ sound interesting and I’ve certainly heard about the first. My education really took off with getting the Internet where I’ve found a great many resources, LDW blogs included. Of course there is a lot of conflicting info out there and some people’s opinions greatly annoy me especially when they come off as their way being the only right way. (“You’re not really into BDSM because you don’t do….” or “You can’t use that label (slave, sun, etc) unless you…”) However I would think that such attitudes can exist in the printed form too so I think the reader should always be wary anyway.
~laughs~ I know magnus! I’ve ALWAYS wondered about his name….I mean, did he change it to Masters when he knew he was Dominant? ~grinz~ There are some names that just naturally beg to get Me giggling! So appropriate! Like the OB/gyn named Dr. Harry Beaver! LMAO!
Oh YES! Be cautious and all *stuff* you read and I’m a big fan of the caveat, “your mileage may vary” when talking about stuff. Personally I love the diversity of the BDsm and fetish kink community. I sure wouldn’t WANT everyone to be the same….but I’ve talked with and read the folks who have a style that says, “if you want to be ‘real’ then you do it my way.” BLEH I say, bleh! Now, there’s a dandy kink term, don’t you think?
A dandy term indeed, MsOlivia, but one I do not envision using when kissing pretty toes. 😉
Well magnus I should hope NOT! I’ve never had a foot lover say anything even remotely like BLEH when contemplating and the loving on My delectable twinkly toes! ~smiles and wiggles My toes at you~ See? ~grinz~
I spent more time in the college library reading about crossdressing, transvestism, transgenderism, etc. than I did studying. Then, as I begain to explore, I discovered dominance and submission. Eventually, I realized that I enjoyed both male and female roles as well as dominance and submission. Either I’m very flexible are just can’t make a decision. Regardless, reading, learning and exploring sure have made for an interesting life. And, being a switch sure increases the opportunities.
Welcome back Jamie Rose! I’m so glad to see your comment! I know that you’re thoughtful and learned about yourself! I always learn a lot from you…so tell Me, have you read those books? What books do you love and recommend? Have you seen the gender post on My other blog?
https://crossdressersphonesex.com/ms-olivia-asks-you-to-describe-your-gender/
I always learn from you! 🙂
Dear Milady Olivia,
Aaron “Bookie Boookman” here. Even though this is not your Stroker Academy Assignment blog. I am still gonna place my report here, since it is the most recent, I have also emailed you a copy of it as well.
I hope you enjoy reading it.
Sincerely,
Aaron
My Cock stroker assignment report
Or better known as
P.O.P.
Peeved off Penis
This document is the report of the completion of the following assignments as pertained to the instructions of the Guest Masturbator Instructors at the Cock Stroker Academy, Under the Supervision of Head Wanking Mistress Milady Olivia. The guest Masturbator instructors include the following Miladies: Professor Nut Cracker Christina, Professor M.I.L.F. Alexandria, Professor sensual Aural Caramel Alexis & Professor Coope DeVille Cooper.
Now Before I start on the results of the overall assignments as instructed by the guest lecturers, I need to clarify a few things first. In the past as both with undergraduate work, and with graduate work, when I fell under the weather for whatever reason, and I missed some coursework, I asked permission from my various professors to be able to incorporate the various elements of my assignments into an over – arching paper. Now in the instances that I asked to do this, the result was appositive one; it challenged my creativity and knowledge of the various subject matters to create a unique perspective.
Well I got nailed the chest cold a little while back that was going around. I recovered ok, but I was still tired in the evenings, and I did not have the energy to really tackle the individual stroker assignments with the integrity I felt that they deserved. So this past weekend of February 24th 2013, I attempted to incorporate the assignments of these Masturbator Miladies (see above). Now I was not “cocky” at all, but I was confidant in my abilities as a lifelong cock stroker / masturbator that I can accomplish two things.
First to be able to in a creative unique manner combine the elements of the various masturbating assignments, and to secondly complete them in one full – thrusted assignment.
Well I learned some things about myself in this here attempt. That for as undergraduate work in Anthropology and at a Graduate level in Library Science assignments, it was a challenge to combine them, and it took skill but the work was successfully completed with high marks.
But In this course at Stroker Academy…in my attempt to combine these assignments into one I found out that I was WAY WRONG !!!!!!!!!!!
The following body of words will fully describe how I “came” to this conclusion.
WELL DONE Bookie! *stands up and applauds* GREAT WORK on your masturbation assignments and your dedication to your stroking training here at the Cock Stroker Academy! I’m SO impressed with your dedication and thorough reportage of your masturbation training that I’m going to HIGHLIGHT your stellar efforts in a series of blogs! WOW AND WOW ! I look at your comment Bookie and I have the BIGGEST SMILE on My face! THANK YOU so much for taking your time to write that!
The book My Secret Life was an early influence on me that excited me to think that my kinky leanings were shared by others and that I might find people with whom to explore them. I was an instatiable reader, porn-peruser, etc., so when the internet came along and offered the whole smorgasbord, that naturally became my primary source other than my lover.
I didn’t particularly care for bossy girls (when I was younger), but I sure do like bossy BIG girls now!
Ohhhhh…..do you mean WALTER, tommieboy? I love the internet and agree with you that it has really opened up SO many things regarding kink, fetish, erotic pleasure…but most of all, it’s stuff that people have been thinking about (and doing) for YEARS! What has changed with the internet and the ‘exposure’ of kink, fetish and Femdom is that the women who are …. ahem … natural leaders, (like I always thought I was) now have a way to go — OH WOW, you mean I can really DO that?! ~laughs~ So, it goes both ways…. submissive men and Femdoms … we ALL tend to come into our own inside of an open and supportive community of like-minded individuals.
I loved the book This Curious Human Phenomenon This Curious Human Phenomenon. I found it to be quite insightful, educational and informative. I thank you, Ms Olivia, for recommending the book.
YAY!!!! Forrest! I’m so glad you read it! I loved that book and I’m very glad you enjoyed it! I love the sensation play, like you, and I really like the “whys” behind all of the sensations! I love that about you as well!
I haven’t read the books above but will try to do so. In trying to understand myself, I read about the transgendered in cultures, history (Chevalier d’Eon) and biographies (Christine Jorgensen)as well. For fairly recent books on crossdressing/transgender, I recommend Helen Boyd’s books “My Husband Betty: Love, Sex and Life with a Crossdresser” and the followup book “She’s Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgendered Husband”. I can really relate to those. But, as enjoyable as reading books can be, my real education came from people that I met in drag bars, crossdressing conventions, Power Exchange, and kinky private parties. And, a Dominant Woman that helped me recognize, accept and enjoy all of my kinky self.
I loved Helen Boyd’s books! It is really intimate insight into something we talk about and I’m grateful she shared her experiences with her wife. I think of Betty as Betty….and it’s hard to have adequate language for these things!
I haven’t read Chevalier d’Eon so thank YOU for that suggestion! I also haven’t read Christine Jorgensen’s book, but I will read that one as well! Thank you for the suggestions! I’d love to hear what you think of some of the books that influenced My journey as well.
You’re so thoughtful about your journey and I appreciate when you’re able to take your time to share insights with Me/us 🙂 ~hugs always~
I got my start through magazines and my imagination. Leg Show was the biggest source i found in my longing to submit to a woman. They way they would give the sign to masturbate for them and give them tribute really got me going in the right direction. From then on it was about experimenting. Sometimes the experiment worked and i found myself with a new fetish, sometimes it didn’t work and found myself closed to rekindling experience that did me wrong. But throughout my years one thing is for sure i really like being controlled. I have had 2 relationships where i was dominant. The second or most recent one i found myself teaching her how to dominate me. I had a cock walk board made (its called different things but it is where the man lies underneath the board and has his cock and balls isolated on the other side) and had my submissive sit in a chair and use her leg muscles to squash my cock and balls. Never could to full weight. Got to the point where i could cum unless i was secretly dreaming about being dominated instead being dominant. Never been to book smart, guess that’s why I am just a poor ol country bumkin lol. When i read about all the things that turns You on and how excited i am to learn from You i get that nervous energy that i had on our first call. Thank You Ms Olivia
I love trampling boards! Oh WOW bumkin!!!!! I’m so glad you mentioned that! ~grinz~ You really are full of surprises and that is also exciting to Me.
Ahhhhhh, you might not be book smart per se but you are smart and adventurous and quite delightful to own! I’m thoroughly enjoying you 🙂
Leg Show is an amazing magazine! The photos are lush and seductive…. the whole ‘look and feel’ gets Me going as well. ~smiles~
Remember what I told you about what My mama said, “Still water runs deep.” That certainly applies to you and makes Me ~smiles~ when I think of that saying and you 🙂