American phone sex callers will observe that today is April 15th; this is the deadline for American Tax Returns and therefore called Tax Day. Sigh. I have what has become a colorful association with the IRS, the people who bring us the celebration of Tax Day. Today is a manufactured Holiday; just like Hallmark is the cabal behind pseudo-holidays like Valentine’s Day. I digress. Tax Day … the days leading up are for show, little drops of lube (sometimes flavored) dripping and oozing before the Main Event. We Americans get screwed today and in the timeless tradition of holiday celebrations I thought I’d break My blog silence with this post about surviving Tax Day by getting screwed in a fun way …. phone sex!
If you’ve already sent in your return and gotten a refund, why not call Me for erotic roleplay? Can you imagine? I’d be your tax return preparer dressed in…hmmmm, short skirt, blouse, thigh high stockings, strappy sandals with sexy toe cleavage. Imagine the questions, “Mr. X, I’d like to ask you about this trip to the Strip Club and you’ll have to tell Me about it whilst I’m giving you a lap dance. Hold still, numbers make Me SQUIRM with Pleasure.” I just bet you didn’t have that THAT conversation with YOUR tax preparer. Did you?
If you’ve waited until the last minute and want to make today even more special, why not call us for erotic humiliation? Can you imagine? Ha ha ha, loser and all the rest. You’ve delayed watching your money go and now you want to cum. Hmmmmm. Cumming and going. Bleh, little dick and I see you’ve used the 1040-EZ form. *rolls eyes* Of course.
But, you know, there’s always the good ole guided masturbation session. I mean, really, when you’re going to get screwed, who can do it better than the individual to Self? Think about the thoughts that float around in your head. I think it is perhaps part of the Human Condition to have Toxic Waste swirling in the conscious/unconscious thoughts. Some call this being introspective. Others call this neurotic. Woody Allen would, perhaps, call this *making a good living and being rich* ….. hmmmmm, being rich; not such a bad thing to be, if you remember to pay your taxes.
Olivia – Always Original
For an erotic phone session with Empress Olivia, call 800-601-6975
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Happy Tax Day, MsOlivia.
*snicker* oh Magnus, and you DO see just how *happy* I am for Tax Day, don’t you?
I’m in a quirky mood as you’ll also see with tomorrow’s post.
Tell Me, do you find these *quirky* posts irritating or interesting…..ie, would you rather I stick to more traditional SEX BLOG stuff or is this a diversion? I’m thinking that man does not live by WANK alone …. but, that might be the female in Me talking! LOL
Oh my, MsOlivia, I *LOVE* Your quirky posts! I hope You don’t ever stop with them. We’ve spoken before about how sexy minds are, and imagination and sense of humor are important pieces of that.
WHEW ! Okay…..thanks magnus ! …. because you know that a fine mind and good conversation is AS MUCH A TURN ON as the *mechanics* of stroke here and ohhhh squeeze there kinds of things. In fact, I’ll go so far to say that for Me in My own personal life the *connection* is everything …. otherwise I’m pretty much set with a trip to the gym, a long soak in the tub and then a quick swipe with My Rabbit …. oh and Chamomile tea or sparkling water after. The *mechanics* of that which is just mechanical can be okay but, ultimately won’t hold My attention for very long. LOL that’s just me.
Now, I’m DASHING off to Starbucks with My trusty LARGE MUG and once I get all wired up on caffine….LOL you can expect even MORE blog posts. Ahhhhhhhhhh
Oh, if You haven’t already and it’s Your thing, at least Starbucks is giving away free coffee today if You bring Your own mug. There is some good on today anyway.
We do see so eye to eye, MsOlivia. For me, I’d even go so far as to say without those things, the mechanical part could even get boring. Perhaps that ties in with people fantasizing about others while they’re with someone at the time. That does not mean that one’s companion isn’t foremost in one’s mind, but I do think that that combined with other sources of mental stimulation can be a good thing. Or perhaps just having the chamomile served by someone in chainmaile. Heh, that might have been a bit too much of a tangent but then that’s *me*. LOL
I hope you enjoyed the Starbucks and I’ll be looking forward to those posts. 🙂
Yes magnus, we DO see eye to ….. hmmmmmmm…..well, when I am lying in bed, awaiting My Chamomile and you appear …. why the chainmaile is ….. oh my LOOK…..EYE LEVEL ! Now, there’s NOTHING *boring mechanical* about THAT VISION or fantasy 🙂
hugs and *swats* Ohhhhhh-livia