I’m going to pause on the sex toy advice blogs for just a bit and do some fetish information blogs on this Wicked Wednesday.
Remember, if you’d like some personalized sex toy shopping to make your cock control sessions especially hot, just give Me a call.
As always, post your comments, questions and ideas in the comments section. You might just inspire future blog posts and more erotic audios like this free erotic audio on one power exchange scene.
Power exchange is a BDsm term. Like many words in the kink or fetish area, the definition is not ‘set.’ Definitions are very dependent on the your D/s culture, individuals involved, types of fetish play, type of relationship, etc.
Catchall definition of power exchange
Loosely defined it is what it intuitively sounds like. Power flows from one person to the other. The two people are not ‘equal’ in their personal power. As a Femdom Mistress, I am in charge by mutual agreement and you give some certain aspects of your personal power to Me. I find it thrilling to be the Dominant Woman! Once we get beyond that simple idea, things get … well … complicated! Which is what I personally like about the kink scene.
Range of kinky behaviors
BDsm actually refers to a range of behaviors, attitudes, erotic roleplay and more. One person’s amazingly satisfying time can shock someone who isn’t into that particular kink. Part of the joy of finding fetish partners is exploring and getting ideas from someone else. As the Experienced Mistress I have real time experience in the kink scene, but I also learn from My phone sex callers!
Dominant versus submissive
When you call for domination phone sex, I am generally the Dominant or the Experienced Mistress and you assume the role of submissive. We talk for a bit about what you want, is it erotic roleplay, conversations about kink/fetish activities or physical activities? Conversations are like a buffet and you can choose any or all of the above! If I am the Dominant then I will be in charge but you as the submissive also have power of a sort because, otherwise, how can you give Me power?
Like most things in BDsm culture, it’s nuanced! I like that. Tell Me, do you have questions about power exchange, Mistress domination or how this is used in phone sex?
You are absolutely right on so many points here. One person being in charge “by mutual agreement”, the nuance, and the importance of learning eachothers expectations, limitations, and desires.
It never fails to amaze me how wrong some people get BDSM, even those engaging it. If you read articles, books, stories, etc especially on the internet you will find people who adhere to the facade of the bdsm relationship as if it is real. Sometimes I think the person is simply not “breaking character” and keeping the illusions real, but I am convinced some people really try to make it “true”.
To me it should be about mutual pleasure, on many levels.
WHEW, wellspanked, you’re right about the misinformation about Bdsm and power exchange. Mistress does NOT mean bitch! Submissive does not mean a ‘weak’ person. Even erotic humiliation in the most extreme is best done with a solid respect and understanding between the two people. BUT, all that said….there are some people who DO have a 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship and they’ve arranged the dynamics so it works for them. I’m not one of those people. I like scenes to be scenes and I’m VERY good with boundaries! I think it’s always important to remember that not everything you read on the internet is true (LOL) and what will work with one person/couple won’t work with someone else.
I love what you say here. Submissive does not mean “weak” and Mistress does not mean bitch. Wearing the gown for you is just the way our relationship is arranged and who is to say how a relationship is arranged? I love that you allow me to explore my feminine side and do not judge. You also have a high understanding of CDs. Very rare in this world.
Ahhhh, THANK YOU, yvonne! Not only do I not judge but I also find your feminine side VERY SEXY!
We both know, there’s a difference between tolerance and a real appreciation! And I DO appreciate every single part of you!
One of the things that keeps us together is the experience that we both share this….BOTH of us have the same (but different) needs and desires and that makes it symbiotic! After all, a Domme can’t be a Mistress without a submissive. I need YOU just as much as you need Me 🙂 And, therefore it’s such a JOY for us both.
It’s DANCING, it really is dancing — one with another. When I say, a submissive is not at all weak, I have to laugh because the line about Ginger Rodgers comes to mind: SHE did the same steps, backwards and in high heels! ~grinz~ I think that is STRENGTH and there’s strength in submission! 🙂
That is a GREAT point. Fred had the easy job lol! I still don’t move that fast in heels and She just glided about the floor.
Ahhhhh sweet one…..gliding is ALL about practice, practice, practice! And, remember I’ve seen you gliding and twirling, you move just FINE! One thing about leading the dance is the fact that the good Leader never lets Her partner fail! ~smiles~
Yes Fred took good care of Ginger and I am sure you would do the same for me 🙂
YES! I will and I do take VERY good care of My sweet girl! ~smiles~
Well said Ms. Olivia
*puts away his soapbox*
~grinz~ at wellspanked! Ohhhhhhhhhh, maybe I should bend you over that soapbox! ~giggles~
I left a comment yesterday on your EE blog of my thoughts about power exchange. So, I do hope you’ll forgive me if instead, I take this opportunity to simply drool over that MEGA hot pic above!!! OMG!! Sliding off your panties!!! Shame on me for missing this for a day or so! I really gotta check back here daily it seems, less I miss anymore heavenly images of you!!! Thanks ever so 🙂
~grinz~ at Mike! Well YES, you do need to check because I don’t leave the images up for very long….actually, it is like sliding those sexy panties off…they stay on just long enough and then … *wink*
I suspect that the definitions of PE are as varied as the reasons that people are drawn to BDSM. The appeal to me is intimacy to the extent that I gladly surrender to my Mistress and display all the humility within myself and only hope that in exchange my Domme gets some satisfaction out of making my existence a less isolated and frustrating experience. So PE to me is an agreement to fast track intimacy, which would explain why engaging multiple Mistresses through any one period of time holds little appeal to me. Of course I will never deny being an oddball…
Thank you so much for your comment Lenas! I particularly loved your description of Power Exchange as an agreement to fast track intimacy! Wow, I hadn’t thought of it in those terms really….but when I read that I realized that is exactly what happens. There’s Mistress and there’s the submissive and then there’s the ‘something that happens’ and when the play is all about levels of power exchange then the “something” is off the charts! Oh and you’re not an oddball, there are lots of people who have just one special Mistress. And, then there are some that like a variety. Just like you said about power exchange and BDsm, there are so many variations of needs, desires and, yes, erotic play!
I am a submissive male, and my relationships with all of my mistresses, whether it is with LDW or my real life mistresses, is by mutual consent. Being in the BSDM lifestyle, I thrive on having dominant women take charge of my sexuality, since my penis and testicles are there for HER pleasure. I enjoy masturbating in the presence of my mistresses, and that may involve lots of edging and teasing, including masturbation marathons. Then, chastity can serve as a “vacation” from stoking. I am also into whips, spanking, CBT, face sitting, and foot and leg fetishes. I relinquish control, such that I endure some pain, and where the mistresses grant me pleasure. I also practice orgasm denial, because I recognize that my mistresses’ pleasures – including her orgasms – are above that of my own. It is all part of the erotic excitement!
Cum_filled_balls that is a FANTASTIC explanation of how power exchange works in your relationships! I love it and really thank you for sharing that on My blog comments! This Experienced Mistress learns from each and every submissive male. And that is what kinky erotic pleasure is all about, learning and growing! ~laughs~ Well, I didn’t mean for that to be a pun, but now that I read it, I’ll leave it up because it makes Me ~smile~. Thanks again and I’m curious….how long have YOU gone when you’re told that you’ll be in orgasm denial for Mistress?
Dear Mistress Olivia,
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement! I have been engaged in the sexual practice of edging and orgasm denial for years under the guidance of several mistresses, but January 15th, 2012, was my last “complete” orgasm with ejaculation. This means that it has been 1 year and one month since my last “intense” orgasm. I do NOT feel deprived, though, since I have also experienced Tantric bliss and the pleasure of having my cock weep – and the sensation of blue balls. 🙂 Reading through the various blogs, I appreciate the over all non-judgmental nature involved, and I am also learning from those sites, as well as having made calls to some of the mistresses, such as Mistress Constance, Mistress Audry, Mistress Cassandra, Mistress Courtney, Mistress Britany, and Mistress Sloane. I like them and some of the others, including you, who I would love to speak with during this year. [Maybe I may even get in a 2-Mistress or 3-Mistress call in some time later this year. :)] You are all a great group of people!
Thank you so much for tell Me that cum_filled_balls! While some might say that’s a long time without orgasm (and it IS!) you and I both know that just the orgasm itself is not the be all and end all. Well….it IS the end all in a sense because the heightened sexual arousal you’re experiencing with orgasm denial and edging will just go away for a time. The way you’re doing cock teasing combined with denial is designed to keep your cum filled balls aching in a good way and for you to experience the THRILL of that buildup to orgasm. AND, it can be so thrilling that the sensations are way more than the orgasm itself. After all, any fool can have an orgasm …. and that’s a yummy feeling … BUT for those who understand the delight of orgasm edging and denial there’s so much there!