Finding the perfect Femdom Mistress
I was talking with my adult podcast partner, Mistress Erika, about being a great Mistress – especially when talking about long distance domination. She said, “Hey I can do a twitter poll asking “What makes a great Femdom Mistress.” Follow Ms Erika on twitter, she’s so much fun! Her twitter is @ErikaEnchantrix.
So there’s a poll on twitter or you can leave your comments here (or both). Chances are you’re into female domination but even if you aren’t, take a look at the poll and leave your answers – these questions also apply to what makes a great partner.
There are four choices in the poll but we know there are a variety of things that make a truly great Domme sub relationship.
Femdom Mistress poll
The four choices in the twitter poll are:
- Experience
- Gets to know you
- Creativity
- Fun, sense of humor
I’ll do a blog post on each with some of my thoughts – this way you know there are at least four blog posts coming before you get something whack-a-doodle like Ms Olivia’s Magic Pussy.
Does experience matter with Distance domination phone sex?
Honey, experience matters with everything so YES of course it matters! If you’re calling LDW Group then you know that Headmistress Ally only associates her company with experienced women – but, did you know that she made an exception when it came to me?
I had no professional phone sex experience but lots of experience talking dirty on the phone to strangers. There ia an art to translating my face to face fetish and kink experience to creating fabulous Distance Domination calls for us. I do admit to always being a sexually dominant woman and active in the kink scene.
Fetish experience matters
For many fantasy calls, it’s a fantasy and there is more storytelling than anything else. But …. when we start getting into physical play where Mistress is directing or guiding you, then experience matters.
I had one submissive who was told to spank and she decided to spank more and harder than I directed. Not good. I have her a stern talking to – remember: safe, sane and consensual also includes Mistress boundaries, limits and requirements. This Mistress does not like to break her toys!
Ready for intense pain play?
If I find you can take some intense pain play or something that requires experience on your end like sounding or CBT, then we’ll have a conversation and see if we’re a fit. If we are a good match then woooo hoooooo we will have some fun.
A great Mistress will actually care about you
Oh sure I might be the fucking evil sadistic mean Mistress during some intense pain play or degrading erotic humiliation — but know that outside of the scene I care about you. “Getting to know you” is the next in the list of the poll questions and that will be the next blog post.
What do you think makes a great Femdom Mistress?
Post comments and you might see your comment in the next couple of blogs here or included in an upcoming episode of The Weekly Hot Spot adult podcast. If you don’t want to answer, just look at that naked photo and have fun! ~grins~.
I would have to say all the above oh lordy that pic
giggles
Just showing that it’s never about the leather and latex and the boots and whips and chains (ohhhhhh wait I love all those things!).
Oh hey — we are using your idea for a podcast and adding Miss Ruby! So, Ms Erika, Ms Ruby and I will be dishing on YOU and your question of “What makes a great Femdom Mistress” This is going to be very fun!
Fantastic idea !!!!
Well I can certainly attest to your skill and expertise. I love how you make me cum with a sound buried deep inside me.
I was thinking about you when I wrote that sentence! Remember when we first talked and I asked you (grilled you) on your experience — once I was satisfied, I went wooo hooooo we can PLAY !!!
I’ll never forget and boy did we ever play! Hopefully again soon!
We sure did !!! I can’t wait until we connect again! 🙂
Yes as on our very first call we clicked!! It was you/Ms Violet who dressed/turned and kept me as your lipstick lesbian girlfriend. You are definitely part of my ongoing permanent feminization as this is a life long relationship with you.
Carli – your feminization and transformation is really fabulous! Such a pretty cream puff !!!
Hi Mistress Olivia, I would say all of the above and more. Gets to know is more important then i would have thought as it seems it is very important for a Mistress to know her slave. As a slave i find that this makes me being more comfortable being owned. I love your podcast with Goddess Erika. It is awesome Mistress Olivia.
Thank you so much — and you’re right about how important respect is — I always say I can be a mean ass bitch Mistress in scene but if I don’t care about you then it’s risky play.
First, I have to say that your picture is so sexy and stunning, Mistress Olivia. Your blog is amazing, and I love this topic. I think that the qualities you’ve outlined are essential to the great dominant women I’ve met and admired.
I also think great dommes also have this almost ineffable quality of understanding how men’s minds work on a intuitive level. I don’t think there’s really a word for it, but I’ve seen dommes do it so often to think dominant women might all have superpowers. A domme knows what makes men tick, even when the men themselves don’t, she knows how to motivate and encourage a sub push themselves harder, how to emasculate them, tease them, control them, and wrap them around their finger. I know my Mistress understands me on a very deep level, and understands me more than many of my closest friends. I think that is a really rare and amazing skill.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind words. Dominant women DO have superpowers. I can read minds! (sort of – not really) Let me also say that a great Domme really cares about men and her submissives. I love this dynamic. I love the “dance” — everything is thrilling, intimate and unique.
Hi Ms
For me it has been how well we have gotten to know each other. Our journey has been long and I look forward to so much more.
xxxxxxx
Yvonne
We have so much in common — interests, love and care — and, of course, our mutual love of all things beautiful! I adore you m’dear!
Oh my lovely friend! Looks like I’m late to the party! Our pets keep us so busy I barely have time to check in with you!
I love this blog post, and you! So true there are many things which make a GREAT Mistress and twitter the , twats only give me four options! Ha! I love this conversation and I think it will help many demystify the art of Female Domination!
I’m so excited to do this episode of The Weekly Hot Spot with you and Ms Ruby — I’m glad Lexi gave us the suggestion and idea. You’re right about demystifying Female Domination. I had someone say, why aren’t you screaming at me? I said, “Erm, because I don’t want to wreck my voice!” ~laughs~ But I did ask why in the world he would assume that a Femdom screams – he said well I saw that in a porn movie so I thought that’s the way it should be. Ahhhhhh no no no no no! We’ll have a great convo about this (and so much more).
Late to the game here and certainly passed the show but your question.
Well first, What is ‘sounding’?
What makes a great Mistress?
All of the above with experience being the one that is probably most important when you take a new caller. You really can’t substitute experience in anything. You got it or you don’t.
However lack of experience doesn’t mean you won’t be good. It could come natural to you before you are a Femdom Mistress ‘officially’. I would think if you are drawn to it there is already some natural inclinations in place. You probably already know teasing and your own feminine power.
With or without experience both creativity and fun/sense of humor is high on my list. Even new to Femdoming those two will take you far. I want to hear you are having fun with me and really do enjoy it. That only makes me love it more. I LOVE being the toy!
Damn creativity is what will send me over the top! That comes from a good naughty imagination and paying attention, being in every moment of the session. Thinking on your feet and having the ability to shift gears or recognize when there needs to be a slight change of direction or the need to improvise on the spot.
My best example? OH FUCK! Just ask Mistress Delia about the Chocolate Birthday Cake she turned into ________ on HER birthday when the original plan wasn’t working! OMGoddess! Delia knows how to improvise and be creative at a moments notice!!! I still get excited to this day just thinking about THAT session!
Oh damn!… hold on I’ll be right back… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
Whew!… Okay, NOW I can think straight again. Where was I? Oh yeah. Get’s to know you.
Well, THAT session,the most famous one of all our Delia’s birthday cake sessions was also great because we had a history and she really does get to know her callers and remembers even tiny details. She doesn’t forget. She knew me well by that point. That is a really good quality to have.
I might add the element of surprise. This may be best once you know your caller/slut/submissive/slave. I like being ambushed on occasion whether my mistress just changes her tone midstream from nice to strict or mild to wild. I want to be taken on her ride.
It’s that unexpected element, that anticipation of what is going to happen is suddenly reversed so I feel as though I just got flipped on my head. Underscore WOMAN IN CONTROL and she is reminding me! I once thought I was going to lick my cum from the plate then suddenly her tone changed and I was told, rather forcefully to push my face in it and rub it around. I LOVED her for that! (I won’t give her name but it was Ms. Casey) and I won’t tell you the REALLY HUMILIATING AMBUSHING I got from Lena, um Mistress Lena. Talk about a surprise!
One more? Using your woman’s intuition. The ability to recognize cues in body language, facial expression, my tone etc and keep stoking the fire just right, knowing when to keep it smoldering and when to really fan the flames! Yeah, that.
Oh I love this! Yes yes yes 10k yes on Ms Delia — she is amazing and we’ve had so much fun doing The Weekly Hot Spot podcast – this kinky sex podcast was her idea and we were co-hosts for a bunch of episodes. She’s taking a break right now and Ms Erika and I are a fabulous team as well — and we have awesome guests — oh oh oh you might enjoy the upcoming humiliation episode – it was with Ms Hunter and ohhhh we had a great time!
I’m not sure what makes a great femdom mistress but I know a few who are super great, Ms Erika, Ms Olivia, Ms Delia and so many more here at ldw
Awww, cupcake, thank you so much!
Miss (Ms) Olivia, I love the photograph at the top of this page. Obviously, it shows all your female assets , but also the fact that you are looking down suggests that your slave is lying on the floor at your feet. Perhaps this means he has misbehaved and you have thrown him to the ground (to put him in his place) using your martial arts skills!
Mmmmm, tossing that submissive on the floor sounds HOT!