I know that I get pleasure from being a Mistress. The male submissive in the throes of submission is also experiencing pleasure. This is sometimes called sub space. What I enjoy in a power exchange session is Domme space. This is the dance of power exchange.
dance of Dominance and submission
I’ve always thought about it as a dance. Imagine two people dancing. Yes, ONE person is doing the leading but that is merely to ensure that the flow of the steps to music works well. If both people are trying to lead then you’ll get a lot of mashed up toes and a lousy “look” to the dance. When one person leads and the other follows the two in unison look like ONE. This is how I visualize the dance of Dominance and submission.
When I weave an erotic story fantasy while you masturbate to My voice, My words, My images, My creative passions…we are doing a dance. It might look like I’m the one ‘in charge’ of the cock control because I am orchestrating the tease but we are BOTH in unison. THAT is when it’s so amazingly hot and sexy for us both! When we’re both telling and acting out the erotic roleplay I can feel the sexual energy every bit as much as you can.
pleasure and submission
Since much of what we do here at LDW is presented as Femdom Mistress phone sessions, I’d like to address something that is a hot topic on our adult social networking site, Enchantrix Empire. Magnus pointed it out quite well. It’s the issue of pleasure! Here’s what magus has to say:
“I often hear others say that the whole BDSM thing is for the dominant’s pleasure not the sub’s. I call bullshit. Why would someone submit if they didn’t enjoy doing so? Rhetorical question. The sub gets off on submitting. Maybe he or she receives pain. Maybe it’s denial. Maybe servitude. Whatever. They are submitting because they enjoy it. One might get off on being a “slave”, but guess what? Slavery is illegal and anything not within the bounds of being consensual is against the law. So, the person in the submissive role is doing so by choice because they want to. So BDSM is for everyone’s pleasure though that pleasure may take on different forms?”
I’d like to hear your thoughts on this. Is submission ONLY to serve and pleasure Mistress? If so, what about the pleasure the submissive gets by serving Mistress. ~smiles~ What do you have to say? Leave your comments or just give a call, either way, Mistress says, communicate! ~laughs~ Okay, I couldn’t resist giving an order.
Ms Olivia
I agree with everything Magus said.
The submissive has to be receiving some sort of fulfillment from the relationship. It could as obvious as masochistic pleasure, but it could also be a personal feeling of satisfaction in providing pleasure to the dominant. But in any case if it not there, the relationship will not continue.
This is one of the reasons that I find being a dominant harder than being a submissive. The dominant needs to “read” the submissive and create the opportunity for the sub to get fulfillment and at the same time satisfy him/herself.
In my opinion the sub’s best way to do this is to be as open, honest, and accepting of the dom and the dom’s commands.
One last comment. I do believe that there are people in the world who feel they have a “need” to be abused. I think these people can use help and a caring dom would not take advantage of them, but rather help them.
Well put wellspanked. I’m going to address your last comment. Have you read the book Radical Ecstasy by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy? I really think you would enjoy this because it’s on target with you comments about how fetish play can be used in service of a transcendent experience or personal growth. A very STRANGE combo but one of the many opportunities inherent in this play that is full of contradictions!
I believe that whatever makes You happy makes me happy. As Your submissive my job is to please You! When You laugh i laugh. When You giggle i blush. When You say that my submission and devotion turns You on i get even more turned on. When You told me here recently that it turns You on to watch a man suck on a dildo and that it also turned You on that i was willing to do that for You the feeling i got of making You happy sent electric thrills throughout my mind and body. All i want to do is turn You on and make You happy. Now some people may say I’m just saying that as part as a fantasy or to simple stay in Your good graces, but i you don’t think that. But i am still going to do everything in my power to prove to You that my pleasure comes from Your pleasure. Thank You Misstress Olivia for allowing me to please You.
~smiles~ Oh you’re so very right about that bumkin! SOME of the things (actual activities) we’re talking about are in the fantasy realm but the emotions are certainly real. I know it’s real for us both. There’s a swirl of energy that comes from power exchange that is independent of the actual fantasy, sex toys, techniques. I, for one, think that the scene play or sex toys are wonderfully FUN but are avenues of the mental/emotional power exchange play. Does that make sense? It’s like running shoes are GREAT for running but merely having or wearing running shoes doesn’t give you the runner’s high. I know this is sort of geeky nuances ~laughs~ and yes I adore those nuances. You fine sir make My running shoes really ZING ~grinz~