How important is your submission to you?
Listen to me talk to you about power exchange and submission.
There are lots of people curious about fetish and power exchange. Do you WANT to submit in a fun, casual kind of way or is your submission something that is ingrained and very deep? This isn’t a trick question and there is no “right” answer — there is only YOUR answer. Maybe you need to find out if you are submissive, kinky or just sexually adventurous.
When you WANT to submit
You might find a Mistress that you enjoy. You might talk exclusively with her or you believe that variety is the spice of life. Either way, you WANT to submit and you find a Mistress and have some fun.
Many types of submission
I’ve posted about types of distance relationships. Some phone sex relationships last years and we get very close — there are some of you I count as very intimate and special friends. I could not imagine life without you. Other people are “mine” for a time and then move on — sometimes with notice and sometimes without saying anything to me.
BDsm and power exchange
You’ve heard the phrase about “too many cooks in the kitchen” right? The same is true with power exchange. An Experienced Mistress knows when and how to “push” you when you need it:
“The problem that submissive encounter is that the brain gets in the way. Fear, pride, and collective ego combine to make the submissive’s own search for their own needs among the clutter of wants very difficult.”
What’s getting in the way of your wants and needs … and, above all, your submission.
Your Experienced Mistress,
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For me being submissive is something I want and need. I’ve been told by you and the other mistresses I’m not the dominant type as I’m to nice to be that way all of you are right. It’s hot/sexy turn on!! I want to find women to incorporate this to me in relationship with involving feminization by keeping me dressed in women’s clothes/bra/panties/boots. I think my masseuse has taken charge as she’s controlling what I spend along with using perfumes/lotions on me for massages along with measuring/fitting me in bra along with taking pictures of me with her phone wearing dresses. I feel if I want to be the submissive cream puff girl in relationship I have to tell women I meet. My masseuse told me this as I can’t hide this if I want to be in relationship.
NICE — we do love you as a cream puff girl!
Power exchange is very happily explored with newbies and seasoned BDSM players and partners. Often more fun things pop up in the D/s relationship such as, hey let’s try this! Can we? The big power is the communication, agreements, A successful D/s exchange is always a challenge. Thanks for addressing power exchange succinctly Ms Olivia.
WOW that’s an awesome compliment from you Ms Cassandra …. I bow down to you !!!! Talking with you is like the Dominants at a play party gathering around and geeking out on new equipment purchases! LOL
Hi Mistress Olivia!
What I want and looking for is a long term ,hopefully, FLD. I’m longing for it actually, to be with someone who sees the gurly girl I am, to see that I am better of being in Chastity than being out and about.
I am a little sad that I didn’t realize this a little earlier and experimented even though I’m young and have many years left. But I think if I had realized it earlier I would be in a much deeper submissive mind and wouldn’t be so nervous about it.
Hopefully it will be a dream come true 🙂
You ARE such a fabulous submissive girly gurl and a delightful sissy — and remember it always takes time to find out who we are as individuals and human beings. You’re right on time! Don’t be sad — it always takes time to find out what you really want — you’re actually early!
That last section on BDSM and power exchange was very astute. Many people can’t fully discover what they are/want because they pay too much attention to stigma and judgment from others. Others are too caught up in the whirlwind of new sensations and emotions that they can’t focus on the next thing, so caught up in the now have they become.
And, yet others don’t know how to simply LET GO, and be guided. You’re exactly right about fear, or ego and pride getting in the way. If some people could give up the eternal struggle to be first, they’d be able to see what other vast and wonderful possibilities are out there.
I think part of the “letting go” might be a skill for someone who tends to be sexually submissive but Alpha in many other aspects of life. I get that. I actually am very tolerant of the struggle and don’t consider that topping from the bottom. There’s a subtle quality to the thing I don’t like — I’m not sure how to describe it but if I get thrown out of my Domme space too much then it’s not enjoyable for me — or at least it’s sure not power exchange that I enjoy. It feels a bit like a tug of war — I don’t play that — I’ll let go of the rope. There are WAY too many FUN submissives so why settle?
I’m very glad that you are cognizant enough to understand; personally, I am a switch. I’m VERY Alpha in many aspects of my life, even sometimes in a relationship with a woman…but there are sometimes I NEED to be able to let go. Rare is the woman who truly understands this, and rises to the occasion. Kudos to You!
Thank you so much! As you can probably tell I thoroughly enjoy the WHY of what we do! 🙂 🙂
And, any WHY always happens in context.
Dear Ms Olivia
This was a wonderful post. I am a very submissive male who really enjoys the power exchange. I enjoy knowing my place as a subbie. For me submission is something that I crave very much and there is no greater or more natural thing as a dominant female who is all powerful.
Thank you for your wonderful blogs and audios. I am proud to be a slave (a ticklish one).
OMG, ticklish slaves are so much FUN !!!!! I play in the face to face fetish world — once I did a party with kinky friends and had a ticklish submissive there are “living art” — everyone would come over and idly tickle — it was creative and different and very very very FUN!
I enjoy submitting for service and included in service is amusement. So sexually if I can please, amuse, entertain, or service my mistress it arouses me.
Outside of a purely sexual situation if I can serve and build a closer bond, that could lead to a better intimate encounter later…at least in my mind.
That makes sense! Submission is a mindset in and out of a session — the D/s dynamic doesn’t always “have” to be in the scene and it’s true what happens outside of the scene itself has an impact on the scene play.
Mistress Olivia, This is a great post. For me it is both a want and need to be submissive. i am submissive in all parts of life. As i don’t have what takes to be dominant. Society demands that some people are dominant while others are subservient in life.
So very true tiny tim and it’s wonderful that you realize that some are Dominant and some are submissive — I’m really glad I’m the Dominant side.
I am new to your blog Mistress Olivia and like it a lot. I can tell you are experienced in BDSM and Mistress/slave. One reason i feel that i am submissive is that i view myself as being inferior to everyone. I was wondering if there is a connection to being inferior and a slave in life?
That’s a great question!
Actually, that’s such a great question I am going to do a longer answer in a blog post!
Thank you for the inspiration!!!!