You know the term birthday spanking? Well, my birthday is in March so I got to thinking about spanking and corporal punishment from Mistress. It’s MY birthday so you get the swats. How fun is that?
All joking aside, corporal punishment can be a very important part of a female-led relationship (FLR). Some people use it as an actual punishment, while others do something I’d call more along the lines of “funishment,” which is simply spanking and impact play for fun, rather than for serious punishment reasons. Whichever reason I decide to use it, though, corporal punishment can be quite a powerful thing to happen between two people.
Reinforcing The Roles Of Dominant Woman And Submissive Male
Any type of pain play is a form of power exchange between a dominant woman and her sub. Corporal punishment from Mistress can quickly reinforce the roles of Domme and sub in the relationship. Being the one dishing out the punishment makes the Femdom Mistress revel in her top space while helping to strengthen her authority over the sub. Being the one receiving the punishment makes the submissive feel completely in the control of the Mistress and can also be rather humiliating and embarrassing, if done in such a way as to bring on those feelings.
BDSM is all about contradictions. Freedom in submission. Pleasure from pain. In my experience, impact play increases the intimacy between us, deepening our affection for and connection with each other.
Some people might not find this idea the least bit appealing and that’s okay, there is no “one size fits all” with kink. But for others, receiving corporal punishment from Mistress is a deep-seated need. There can be multiple reasons for this.
Reasons For Corporal Punishment From Mistress
There can be multiple reasons a Mistress elects to use corporal punishment in a D/s relationship. I will often use spanking and impact play as part of other training tools. The threat of actual punishment can help to reinforce rules, protocol, and etiquette in the relationship. If a sub forgets about the rules or, even worse, ignores them completely, corporal punishment gives an immediate consequence to the bad behavior, which can help keep it from happening again. Psychologists call this extinguishing a behavior through punishment.
Pain play may also be a way for a Domme to show off her strength in the D/s dynamic. For me, I like the thrill of holding the power of punishment over the sub. It’s all about my dominance and control. The one who holds the whip makes the rules, as it were.
Spanking Can Create Sexual Pleasure
Additionally, for a certain contingent of masochistic submissives who are sometimes called spankos, corporal punishment and/or impact play can be a source of sexual arousal. Spanking can create pleasure and intense orgasms in those who really enjoy it.
Why, you ask? In my opinion, it’s because pain helps to focus attention. The pain of the spanking intensifies sensations throughout the body–and not just the painful sensations, either, but also the pleasurable ones. This makes it easier for a sub to get into subspace, which definitely increases the intensity of all sensations, including orgasms.
Mistress questions for you
I like to know more about your and your experiences with BDSM, so here are a series of questions. Please answer in the comments, email or hop on the phone and we’ll talk about this and so much more. Ready?
Are you someone who gets off on the pain of being spanked?
What do you like? Pain, humiliation, or maybe the psychodrama that often comes with a punishment scene?
Are there other reasons for your enjoyment of impact play?
I can’t wait to read or hear your answers — and add in some funishment or punishment in our session.
Yes, please and thank you so very very much mistress!!!
As you know, I, absolutely, LOVE the pain! And, I agree that impact play or any pain play increases the intimacy between partakers. It requires an enormous amount of trust and, as you said, deepens connections and affection. It can be exhilarating!!!
Spankos is a new one to me but I kinda like it.
xoxo
for YOU m’dear I want lots and lots of ball busting …. so you feel it deeeeepppppp inside !!!!!
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
That makes ME tingle as well!
Your wish is my command!!!
So, I just completed a very long session just for you. I started with 3 1/2 minutes of super-fast swats with my hand. Then, after resting my hand for a few minutes I repeated that. Then I had a tennis ball in a sock. I know I haven’t used that before with you, but it provides a lighter but sharper impact than the apple and I can do it very quickly. I did 200 swats with that. I followed that with 50 heavy impacts with one of my wife’s shoes and finally, my favorite, the apple in a sock. I did 250 hard impacts with that, the most I have ever done at once! It was soooo much fun!!! My balls really ache now but it’s such a delicious, delightful ache!
Speaking of delcious, I think it’s time to go and produce my favorite little snack and slurp it all up for you as well – YUM!
WOW WOW WOW ….. and just think ….. you are new to pain play — well, relatively new at this point … and you have taken to this so well! I love love love that you are willing to experiment, try things, keep and open mind and then when you find something you didn’t think you’d like, but you do, you are able to fully embrace it.
You are so much fun as a kink/BDSM partner ….
AND Erika and I just did a podcast where I talked about you and music, how you send me new music and I really appreciate that and you !
Thank you, Mistress, for ALL of that and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
Thank you dear one !!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhhh, I see..Birthday Role Reversal and the “Birthday Girl” …oops, “Birthday Mistress” has turned the tables and will administer the paddywhacks instead of the traditional receiving. Well it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday Ms Olivia🎂🥰. Now I’m not one for impact play, but it certainly would be a novel gift, wouldn’t it? Problem is, I’m so old that you’ll probably tear your rotator cuff before you get through all of the required “one paddywhack for each year of the spankee’s age” 🤣🖐. But the thought of an OTK spanking by Ms Olivia has certainly brightened up a grey March Tuesday!🥰
Actually, all joking aside — I know people who have strained things from … ahem … vigorous paddling !
LOL
I love all your posts and believe that punishment in your rendition can be a wonderful and exciting thing. I’m not much into spanking, more of a milder form, but I love nipple play and/or hot wax. The more painful, the more arousal:)
Thank you for the lovely blog!
Ohhhhhhh nipple play is awesome — same with wax play — do you like japanese clover clamps, clothes pins or something else on your nipples?
oh we both have bdays in March. well we both know each others secrets. so I will plead the 5th but not that it will matter my sexy mistress.
We do ….. and I’ll sign happy birthday all breathy like Marilyn Monroe …
Oh wait, we’ll put you in the Marilyn outfit and you can sing to me!
grins
Dear Ms Olivia, you say that it’s your birthday. When exactly in March is your birthday?
Last week and there was zero spanking of my cute butt.
Dear Ms Olivia, I assume you mean 3 March? Is that your birthday?
I claim the entire month for celebration — I won’t be contained by just one day!
LOL
Okay, Ms Olivia, I wish you many happy returns for your birthday and very best wishes for your ‘new’ year of life. I’ve washed and mended all your underpants for you!
thank you so much Mr. Wimpy Wet Knickers!
OMG This post somehow slipped by me!!! Happy Birthday Mistress Olivia!!
I do love me some corporal punishment. My only issue is that it’s noisy! Hahaha! But wow did I love taking your birthday spankings the other day! And the two on the balls were FABULOUS. I love groaning for you like that.
I don’t know why but ball spanking has always been high on my list, although I can’t take as much as I once used to be able to. But these are YOUR balls now and I think you are careful with YOUR property hahaha! Mmmmmm. There is just something about that very deep ball pain that makes me feel so vulnerable and helpless. Combined with the fact that YOU are doing it mmmmmmmm. I love that thought.
Anyway, I know you love pink, and spanking is a great way for me to wear pink for you!!!
Thank you for this post and for all the spanks!!
Actually, I just thought of something pie!
You’ll see a comment from Michael describing CBT using a tennis ball and then an apple in a sock, swinging it into the balls. Let’s try that sometime — I know the swats won’t work because of sound but I’m wondering if Michaels system might work.
Of course, you’d probably need to wear a gag to contain your moaning … but you know I really like that too!
grins
Oh my. Now I need to buy a gag! Lol. Yes yes and yes to the tennis ball and apple. And the shoe!!! OMG. I used to do that a long time ago. Hard and fast swats. In fact as fast as I could do it. I have a questions for Michael, does he twirl the sock around and hit the balls or just swing and hit each time? Does he bind his balls first (I used to do that so they were taught) or leave them hanging?How would YOU want me to do this Mistress?
YOUR balls are already aching from all the edging and feeling full. And now thinking about this ….. Mmmmmm. I want to suffer well for YOU Mistress! Thank you!
Hmmmmmm……
you know I’m thinking —- LOL
Okay, here’s what I want to do. Add a sock and a tennis ball to your toy bag … and let’s take this idea out for a spin !!
Now, for a gag …. first we need to see how much you moan and groan to see whether this is even feasible.
We’ll go gagless at first to get an idea … then maybe the BIG O gag that you do have (that might not work for muffling groans) … and then ….
I have a couple ideas for gags for you.
Mmmmmmm. Yes Mistress Olivia!