Have you ever wondered why you like female domination so much? You know I love finding out more about the WHY of why we do what we do so I want to hear your answers. In the meantime, I thought it might be interesting to explore the ins and outs of D/s from a Femdom perspective.
A Femdom Is Confident And Sexy
One of the things that I think is so appealing about a Femdom Mistress, especially to men, is that she is self-aware and self-confident. And that self-confidence translates to sexiness! A Mistress is smart, intuitive, and knows what she wants…and what she wants to do with you.
In our lives, so many times, we find that the people around us are indecisive wafflers who aren’t sure what they want and wouldn’t know how to get it even if they did know. So a Mistress is a welcome breath of fresh air because she does know what she wants and how to get it. Female domination is so hot because Mistresses tend to be so different from the other people you meet. We are fearless, ambitious, and ready to take on the world! (And unfortunately, you can’t say that about just everyone.)
But I think in some ways, the rarity of a Femdom is part of what makes her so tempting. You know when you meet a true Mistress, it may be a long time before you ever run across one again (except of course here at LDW!). So you cherish and treasure that interaction with her because she’s such an unusual sort of character, in the best possible way!
You’re Submissive And Crave The Power Exchange
Another reason that you might find female domination so attractive is that you’re submissive. This seems like a “duh” thing to say, but it’s important. Your submissive side reacts directly to her dominant side, and it can be like throwing gasoline on an open flame when the two of you get together!
A submissive naturally yearns for the dominance of a strong woman. And who can blame them? As we’ve already mentioned, a Femdom Mistress is an exceptional person, and it’s no wonder why a sub would want to be in her presence as much as possible.
A sub wants to give up their power to their Mistress because they recognize the superiority of that Mistress. They understand that female domination is what they need and that a Femdom is better at making decisions and running the show than they are. So they crave that power exchange that comes with a D/s relationship with a Femdom Mistress.
You Like The BDSM And Kink Games Involved In Female Domination
And of course, we can’t forget that female domination usually involves some kind of BDSM or kink games, too. These can be extremely appealing to a sub, especially if that sub has specific fetishes or kinks in mind that they’d like to play around with.
BDSM and kink games can also really amplify the power exchange process. These games reinforce the dominant and submissive roles each person takes on in the relationship. And if you’re submissive, it can be really nice to be reminded of your place in regards to your Domme.
So these are some of the reasons that, in my opinion, a submissive would like female domination so much. But now I want to turn it over to you; tell me about YOU. Why do YOU crave female domination?
Remember, Ms Erika and I do a BDSM podcast called The Weekly Hot Spot. Most of you already know about it, but if you’re new, check out all the episodes and pay particular attention to the ones where we talk to other dominant women.
I’m looking forward to reading your answers here on my blog or just pick up the phone and connect!
Your Experienced Mistress,
Ms Olivia
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How can I resist and say no to you Ms Olivia? I can’t-especially when you put me in bras/panties/dresses/wigs/makeup/
lipstick/heels with lipstick kisses on my cheeks giggling saying I look better as a girl then a guy? Your to hot sexy and powerful to say no and I’m your submissive sissy girl forever.
You tried to resist but you lost the bet and now you’re in bra, panties, makeup, etc forever!
I like female domination because I’ve been conditioned to it through years of small penis humiliation by the women that I’ve dated throughout my life, in addition to my domineering ex-wife.
And now I am a SMALL PENIS humiliation addict as well as many other perverted, submissive things.
I am very grateful for LDW because I am too pathetic to be with a woman.
OH OH OH …… so your experience in female domination started with the women you dated and then you married one?
grins
nicely done!
Now …. tell me about the other pervy submissive things.
The one reason my mind has always slid into being dominated by a female is for my 4-inch (hard) penis. Once the fem dom sees my cock, the power shift is immediate, and she enjoys making subtle fun of it while choosing to dominate me however she wants. She wears a strap-on, easily twice my size, to remind me who’s boss. All I can do is obey and hope not to be embarrassed too much.
You mentioned strapons …. well now, did you know there is a very special wicked way of doing a mindfuck with a strapon?
It’s when she puts it on YOU …. laughs and laughs …. visualize that …. now tell me, how does that make you feel?
Hmmmmmm?
Totally exposed and put in my place..
Ahhhhh, that put you in your place is a very power scene for any Femdom!
Dear Ms Olivia, I enjoy watching a sexy lady in action as she physically overpowers a male (e.g. by throwing him to the ground and knocking him out). Of course, sometimes I’m on the end of that treatment myself from you and Ms Hunter!
And you will be again….. if we let you up from the basement!
LOL
Dear Ms Olivia, It sounds from your comment as though I’ll be in the basement for a very long time! Oh, well, I’ll just have to get on with washing your knickers. Whoops, sorry, I mean ‘your underpants’, of course!! My apologies for the slip of the tongue (or finger on the keyboard!)
laughs
I’ll toss down one of those lamps that people use in the winter to chase away the blues.
you might need it.
I love having a beautiful powerful female pegging me until she is satisified.
Oh FUCK YEAH!
You know something ….. just as I am guiding my strapon closer and closer, that’s when I start explaining your new role in life.
That’s to be my bitch.
Go on say it with me …. who’s my bitch?
Great post! I don´t even know myself when it started for me or why… I don´t think it was any specific event or time in my life. I just know that I´ve always liked Femdom. For as long as I can remember and long before I even knew a word for it. Girls/Women who are bossy, dominant and demanding and expect men to cater to them in various ways… Especially if she also has a penchant for treating men like her inferior and are a bit condescending… 😉
I´ve come to realize that the best Women to try and date for me, are the ones who expect to be treated as a Princess, who has very high thoughts about herself and is used to always getting her way… Who is high maintenance, expects presents and compliments and to be put on a pedestal, have her doors opened, bags carried, chairs pulled out etc… I always respond to those characteristics. It´s pretty rare to come across, but I´m so intrigued and excited every time that I do… Cause that´s where you have the biggest chance of feeling/being treated like her servant!
My fantasy would be a sexy blonde absolute bombshell like you who had me completely at her beck and call and had me do all kinds of things for her… Who had me completely wrapped around her finger and would just call me at any minor inconvenience and expect me to drop everything and take care of it for her right away… I´m always having fantasies about a Woman like that!
Wait wait …. why do you say it’s rare to find a woman who wants to be treated like a Princess?
I love it when someone treats me beautifully and my friends do too.
You might be looking in the wrong places!
I definitely must be! 😀 I dream of the kind of woman who sees herself as a Princess and expect everything to be done for her so she won´t have to… Even though she could do it herself. Someone who knows herself how sexy, precious and perfect she is and expects the very best. Who refuses to open a door and just stands beside it waiting for me to open it for her, expects me to carry all of her bags and just takes it for granted, expects me to always pay and buy everything that she wants… Asking me for favors and help with all kinds of things, saying that she “doesn´t wanna break a nail”… The kind of woman who gives me a really hard time and leaves me completely exhausted but turned on at the same time at the end of the day… Who would rather have me lay flat on my back in a mud puddle and walk all over me to keep her heels from getting ruined! I would love a woman like that… 😉
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh lay down over a puddle so my high heels won’t get muddy …. mmmmm I do like that too.
Where were you during rainy season recently?
LOL
(Gasp!) :O Exactly my fantasy… 😀 You´ll have to call me next time there´s a puddle and just stand there patiently and wait until I arrive and lay flat on my back in it… 😉 Would probably be my kinky thought too, if I ever saw you somewhere… “That bombshell could walk on me to get over a mud puddle just to keep her heels from getting ruined if she wanted to!”
I´ve always thought it´s a perfect idea of Femdom… From the origin of chivalry, when men were expected to lay their coats down for Ladies to show their respect… Among other things. (If that ever happened or just a myth.) But being a modern guy, I´d rather use myself instead! 😀
What a good question – so of course I had to research it!
LOL
Okay, so maybe “something” happened but likely that’s an exaggerated story – it was first recorded some 80 years after it supposedly happened. I’m skeptical but I can set that aside because it is so awesome that I, like you, think it’s one of those things that SHOULD be true!
Here’s the link I found – it’s about Sir Walter Raleigh supposedly putting his coat over a puddle for Queen Elizabeth.
Haha, yes that´s the story/myth! 😀 I too think it´s awesome! Luckily, there´s a few other gentleman traditions that still apply today, which gives men the chance to serve/spoil/worship Women. But that one would be the greatest and most thrilling… Especially replacing the coat with myself!
My biggest fantasy with this would be to do it for a sexy mature upperclass Lady. The pampered and super spoiled, entitled luxury housewife type with a rich husband who lives in a huge mansion and spends her entire days relaxing by the pool, shopping, and going to spas, beauty treatments, pedicure appointments etc and only wears designer clothes, heels and feels that she deserves the very best of everything… Who sees working class men like myself only as peasants and really has her “nose in the air”, so to speak… Would be my biggest thrill to meet her by a giant mud puddle, just standing there in full panic not knowing how to get across and terrified of ruining her super expensive designer stilettos… I´d offer to “be a gentlemen” for her… And just lay down flat on my back in the mud before her with my arms straight out, saying “Anything for you, Ma´am!” And really have her gladly accept my offer and just proceed to walk slowly and sensually all over my body in her needle thin and super expensive designer stilettos whilst wiggling her perfect butt untill she´s safely on dry land again! And after inspecting her heels to see they´re completely spotless, just proceed to walk… Like I didn´t even exist! Just leaving me there deep in the mud. The thrill would be that she only cared about her heels and saw them as WAY more important than me! And had no respect for me at all.
It´s a kinky or at least silly little fantasy… Something only a fellow bdsm/Femdom-enthusiast wound understand. 😉 I do wish I´d been born much earlier though, that´s for sure! Preferably in that era. Even if it was just my coat being laid down, haha! 😉
OH MY !!!!
I love that so much — and now I have this vision of you are the COAT and that stunning woman in heels just prancing over your (preferably nude) body!
Is it just how I see it, or did my latest reply comment display in a long narrow column? :O Looked super long that way… Lol.
I don’t see yours in that skinny long format but I do see one of my replies like that!
I have no idea why LOL
It might have something to do with replies to threads. Maybe? Dunno
I literally see it as a long ONE letter column now, with just one letter above the other! LOL 😀 I only see a small part of the name/email spaces as well.
HOLY COW.
Okay … damn …. I’m reaching out to tech folks to see if there’s something we can do to change that. I’m not sure but thank you for telling me. Hopefully we can fix it … if not, maybe try a whole new comment on the same blog rather than us going back and forth?
I think it gets smaller and smaller with the number of replies.
O. M. G. I loved reading this blog post. And then I loved listening to you read this blog post. And then I loved re-reading this blog post.
Gasoline on a fire is RIGHT!!! BOOM! Hahahahhaa!
You certainly know what makes a submissive man tick and you absolutely know all my buttons for sure! I suspect these are the same buttons for nearly everyone who reads your blog posts. You are so smart, sassy, kinky, beautiful in both mind and body, commanding, dominant, have a killer voice and so much more! Every single bit of you is a button for me. And all of it is what I adore about Female Domination. It’s so fun and hot and freeing to be able to give up all power and control (or having it ripped from me) to a dominant Women such as Yourself.
I have zero problem letting go and giving all of me to you—for you to control me completely and even place my fate in your hands. That turns me on so much. You being in charge. Of everything. Unless you want me to make a decision or do some research or take a burden from you. Even THAT is hot because it’s all your idea and your will. Whatever it may be. That’s the single most powerful thing to me in a Dominant Woman. Her ability to do what she wants. Whether it’s taking all control, or none at all. I have no control and no say…unless She allows me to or wants me to. And then I do. But it is still NOT up to me. I simply am there to serve and amuse her and make her life better. And that means doing things Her way. That’s why I love doing things Your way. Yes I have an opinion and a viewpoint, but ultimately, I always know it’s Your way. Period. Even if, or especially when, it’s not what I feel like doing. OMG. Doing things when I don’t feel like it, but only because you said to, is so so powerful. I am literally giving up my wants and desires and comfort just for you. THAT is so hot and powerful to me. And makes me excited every single time. That true feeling of total submission to your will. Not pretending. But real.
I don’t even know if I answered your question! Hahahha. I adore you! Thank you for being you!
Sltpie
oh look! Another person in my orbit going on safari! hahahahaha I might be a bad influence.
We just recorded an episode about being submissive and I (and Ms Erika and Ms Demi) all agree that for power exchange to work, the sub has to have power and agency. Otherwise there’s nothing to give up, relinquish or exchange.
I love that you HAVE personal power.
I love that I have that power in addition to my own and you submit.
swoons
OH YES just like that!
I don’t know if this counts as a real answer. I thought it was as simple as:
1. I like women
2. I like being/feeling dominated
Therefore: I like Female Domination
Laughs
there you go, Pat Man the Sissy!
Short and sweet and to the point …. it absolutely counts as a real answer!
Thank you!
I really like your article and am totally in agreement with it. There is also sometimes a reason that when a man is exposed to conditions in everyday life where he is expected to be in a position of leadership, he needs to take a “breather” and let himself be completely controlled. I am not saying that this is the case with me. I find it totally exciting and sexy to be dominated by a strong, dominant woman.
I love it especially when a submissive individual complements a dominant woman. It’s a beautiful symbiosis.
I (used to worry that) I was abnormal and the only one in the world in the world (that likes being dominated by women). I really don’t know why I love it so much and why even just the idea absolutely always consumes me and gets my heart racing.
I love when I can completely submit, I have never been attracted to submissive women, I have always wanted to be owned by a dominant woman. My wife is dominant and it worked at first but now she has lost interest in bdsm Even though she is dominant in life… and so I’m left with dreams again, because I can’t hurt her by having a secret Mistress… she’d take it as infidelity…
Anyway I ABSOLUTELY LOVE your blog posts. your view and yours kind of humor!
Thank you Ms Olivia!
Thank you so much Casandra for your comment!
And, you’re right there are lots of people who use kink and BDSM as a ‘break’ from all kinds of things … especially having to make decisions and be in charge because SHE is in charge.
How do you scratch itch given your circumstances?
Spot on as usual Mistress Olivia. A theory I have identified in me is the way I desire to be submissive shares elements that I seek in a dominant. My submissive desires come from service through physical tasks, emotional stregnth, and sexual prowess. I want to be desired and valued for usefullness, pleasure, and amusement. The similarity comes in that I find competent, strong, decisive women attractive.
Nothing is 100% and I know you like nuance as much as anyone. But I can put it this way, pets are great, but I am attracted to someone I don’t HAVE to take care of, but somone I WANT to take care of. And I project that onto a dominant woman that I am attracted to.
Need puts pressure all on one side.
As always you bring up a FANTASTIC point wellspanked!
You said, “…I am attracted to someone I don’t HAVE to take care of, but someone I WANT to take care of.”
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes 10000000% yes!
And the same is for the dominant or this Domme for sure …. I want someone who HAS power because otherwise there is no power in the power exchange.
OH this is also my beef with the mythical 24/7 ‘lifestyle’ female led relationship fantasy … when she is making ALL THE DECISIONS. WHEW NO. Like you we want to WANT to play rather than HAVE to be in charge of tedious stuff all the time.
It’s a little bit of all the above. I’m very fortunate to be married to a femdom and she is, indeed, very sexy and confident. As someone who loves to give pleasure even more than receive it, being submissive just came naturally to me. The power exchange is amazing and takes me to that special place (sub space) that can NOT be reached in any other way and is not describable by any words that I know of. It is a blissfully wonderful, awesome place! In most cases, the dom is going to give you what you want (unless you failed to negotiate properly) but, only when and how she decides to do so. Trusting her and surrendering completely allows for a magic ride filled with delights with the added excitement of always wondering what’s next!
Then there is the kink! As you know, I have several fetishes and have recently discovered the sublime delights of pain play. Very few people outside of the BDSM community understand these desires and how to create a scene to fulfill them. A good femdom absolutely does though
What a wonderful, nuanced comment and I adore you Michael in part for your brain!
Listen, smart is very very very sexy!
Okay …. to specifics.
you said: “In most cases, the dom is going to give you what you want (unless you failed to negotiate properly) but, only when and how she decides to do so. Trusting her and surrendering completely allows for a magic ride filled with delights with the added excitement of always wondering what’s next!”
GREAT POINT !!!!!!!!
Did you hear the podcast episode titled Are You Worried About Toppping From the Bottom?
We talk about negotiation and you are so right === the Femdom WANTS to give you what you want because that’s what makes it fun and MUTUAL for the people involved.
As you know I don’t want to just “do stuff TO” you or any sub – I want US to PLAY together.
Now, of course I’m going to be in charge of the specifics but whew honey that BDSM and kink DANCE that we do is luscious, simply the best!
Awww, Thank you so much!!! And, you know I adore you as well!
I did listen to the podcast but not before I posted this. As usual, it was excellent!
I’m so glad you are a regular listener to The Weekly Hot Spot podcast — can you tell that Erika and I really love doing that? Not only do we love our listeners and the interesting topics — and of course, one another! grins
OK, my last paragraph didn’t make it on my earlier reply so I’ll try to recreate it.
The last time we talked I mentioned how I was concerned that many other people see submissives and, in particular, pain sluts as someone with mental issues. You said that the medical community no longer considers these desires as mental illness but, I think a large part of the population does. They see us as someone who doesn’t believe that they deserve to be truly loved and cherished by anyone else or that they think that they are a “bad” person who deserves only to be punished. That has not been my experience at all though. I engage or indulge in these activities because I truly enjoy them very much! With pain play, I absolutely love the sensations! It is just so fucking much FUN and I wouldn’t give it up for anything!!!
You are absolutely right. And, it always takes time and often a surprisingly LONG time for any kind of change to happen — and certainly changing the minds of people is about the most difficult thing of all.
BUT, changing the diagnostic codes at least takes it out of “official or scientific” stigma.
I agree with you that kinksters – especially those of us into power exchange and pain play CARE about our partners – deeply deeply deeply care. Do some people not care? Sure! There are assholes in every walk of life. I’m so glad that you discovered this and that you love it. You are AMAZING !!!
Thank you again! I CAN tell that you love doing the podcasts!
Speaking of amazing, – I had a recent experience with my wife that I have to share with you. My wife had me in a sex swing and she had me put my balls into our ball crusher and then she bound my wrists together. She then proceeded to place clothespins all over my body in the most sensitive spots available other than my ass. Don’t know how many but probably more than 100. While doing this, she slowly tightened the ball crusher and paddled my ass with the swats getting harder as we went along. When she ran out of clothespins and the ball crusher was as tight as it would go, she continued to paddle my ass, and she would squeeze the panels of the ball crusher with her hand. It was SOOOO intense!!! Never in my life have I ever experience so much pain over so much of my body that was so deliberately inflicted and so openly welcomed. (Is that enough “sos” in one sentence? – LOL) It was AMAZING beyond description, almost a spiritual experience, definitely mind altering. Even though the endorphins were, absolutely, flowing, it wasn’t like I was drifting off into la la land. It was actually quite the opposite. It was a state of ultra, ultra awareness! I was so completely aware of every little thing. I have NEVER felt so alive!!!
I know most people will never engage in pain play and that it’s definitely not for everyone, but I kind of feel sorry for people who will never experience this. They don’t know what they’re missing!
WOW Michael, I love your comments – you are smart, thoughtful and really aware of your body!
I’m so proud of my part in …. hmmmmmmm …. expanding your erotic experiences (LOL) and of course, I am loving that your introduction to pain play really STRIKES a nerve.
hahahahaha
oh yeah, that pun is intended (of course, you know me I HAD to do that!)
I’m going to do another blog post on pain play asap and, of course, track your cum eating numbers as well!
grins
Why do I like female domination? As a dude, I’m expected to pick the time ,initiate the foreplay,be on top and do most of the heavy lifting.Having to constantly be in control of everyday stuff on top of that can lead to a point where control is something which is no longer desirable. It’s a refreshing change to left go of control and let someone else take the reins.
I would suggest that the difference between conventional sex and femdom sex (for the dude) is much like the difference between driving a car and riding the scariest roller coaster in the world.Driving the car,you can be comfortable, reach your destination and remain in complete control—BORING!!! With the roller coaster you enter with no control ,thrills and surprises come at you fast and even though you are terrified at times ,you know that everything will come to a safe conclusion. Olivia can take you on a ride that is superior in thrills to the best roller coaster.yet you will feel as safe with her as you would in an armored vehicle going 5mph on an empty highway.
The trust is what is necessary to experience the real thrills. I know I can trust Olivia,so I know I can give her an idea and just she will turn it into something unique and original that I will love. Not knowing what is coming next is a big part of the fun. Olivia is witty full of surprises , and just an overall awesome mistress.
Ohhhhhhh Dr. S thank you so much for your kind words!
That roller coaster analogy is perfect! It’s my favorite way to put it after hearing it called that right after an intense mindfuck session:
“Here’s how one recent caller describes his conversation with Me: “I was in a state I’ve never been in after the call. Unlike any other experience I’ve ever had. Somehow you managed to get it very different. Being sent back to dispatch was the same but totally different. Very humiliating and exciting at the same time. I haven’t thought of anything but you since the call ended. Waiting for you nonstop. Waiting to see when you sign in. Checking the sites to see when you sign in. It’s very humiliating but I can’t stop doing it.”
That’s from a blog post I did years ago and I love that you have the exact same analogy!
A Dominant woman . Is there really a choice. Other than a Dominant woman the choice is having women ask you for money to solve their problems. A Dominant woman destroyed this scenario of being of being a Man to provide for the woman.As a totally emasculated male one has no power either financially or sexually power to provide for a woman and most do what he is told. Wear the panties ,become the sissy that a Dominant woman desires. Wear the smallest chastity cage and eat your cum and do the things that you wouldn’t do before your Mistress made you submissive. The Mistress fed you the strap on and now wants you to suck a cock to please her ! So what is your only choice? You only choice is where and which cock or how many to suck and tell her about it.
You are absolutely right, men in positions of power (me) who happen to have a tiny penis (also me) need a break and the fetish of giving in to SPH by women enjoying the power transfer is undeniable. Just seeing them grin when they see my penis makes me instantly leak and not entirely erect but just enough to poke straight out of my pants/swimsuit or whatever. I think there are women out there who enjoy seeing and messing with men with small dicks and toying with us.
There absolutely are women like that … I’m one of them!
Hello again! 🙂 Trying here with a new comment.
It seems to be on just our continued replies on this post. Starting to narrow down on my November 13th comment and going in full one letter columns after that the way I see it. (I actually thought you were joking at first, writing it like that just to be funny after the first time I mentioned it, haha! :D)
I copied the last column to try and show you and when I was about to paste it on your latest post, it turned out completely normal! So I could actually read it with no effort. Of course, the one letter conversation was pretty funny too to try and make out… Made me laugh. Lol 😉
Actually, that one letter in a row down sounds like something I would do for a chuckle … you DO know me and I’m glad you laughed ….
I’m also really glad that we’ve figured out that weird formatting.
xoxo
The comment I just wrote above this looks perfectly fine to me too! Seems to be back to normal again. 🙂 It worked when I wrote a new comment, rather than to keep replying to replies.
Perfect and thank you !
Dear Ms Olivia, You ask why we submissive men enjoy female domination. In my case, I can say that you are an absolutely amazing lady (sexy, smart, strong, and highly confident) and it feels almost natural to take orders from you as you boss me around. When I receive an order from you, I instinctively know that I only have two things to do: 1) Acknowledge the order with a ‘Yes, Ms Olivia’ or ‘Yes, ma’am’ and 2) Obey the order.
Ohhhhhh you’re right.
AND, you know what happens if you are bold enough to disobey!