Listen to me break down the sex research and tell you some of my personal experience.
2 year sex survey of 4,000 people
A human sexuality psychologist and research fellow at the Kinsey Institute just published results of a 2 year survey about DESIRE — especially sexual fantasies for men and women. Some of these answers don’t surprise me. As a Femdom, I know the need and value of Domination phone sex. The FEEL of your submission during my Distance Domination is as real, as sometimes more real, than face to face kink scenes. The study deals with the fantasy — and that facinates me.
I hear a LOT of sexual fantasies
Like the responses to an anonymous survey, the privacy of being on the phone or sexy texting allows people to really share erotic desires. One caller says it like this:
“There is a liberating honesty beneath the presumed anonymity of cyber space. I can be open and honest about my kinks and fetishes (with an online Mistress), whereas openly discussing them IRL would put my life in serious jeopardy.”
According to this new study, there is a huge overlap between sexual fantasies of men and women. For example, 65% fantasize about having pain inflicted upon them during sex and 60 % fantasize about inflicting pain on someone else.
Intimacy and men
The researcher also said he was surprised by the “emotional content” of the fantasies of many men. I know the truth of that. The stereotype of male sexual desire is that once the orgasm is achieved he’s “done” without much intimacy. In my experience, that is the rare person. Most callers, especially who call me, also want to feel cherished, desired and validated.
Kinky sex and women
I know a LOT of women who are curious about group sex, BDSM, and non-monogamy. I’m so glad that there is finally research that suggests this fantasy is more common than previous research suggests. I’m eternally grateful that I had the courage and sense of adventure to move those fantasy desires into my real life — face to face and on the phone, with you.